"The Imitation Of Life..."

What I Like About This: This scene from "God's Own Country" reveals the moment that fears melt into love's acceptance and the sweet comforts of believing you're no longer alone in the world. Seeing this scene reminded me of when the beloved one returned to me one late summer night after he'd left for a  new life without me in North Carolina...

I had prayed mightily for his return every day for weeks and months and I was even joined in those prayers by my father who had come to live with me that summer.  My father who'd been absent for almost all of my adult life up to then was incredibly distressed by my broken heart, he'd never seen me so distraught and lost.  And so everyday, my father would pray with me morning and night, that somehow God would make a way for the beloved one and I to be happy and safe and together.

I remember it being around 11 pm on that clear and cool late summer night that my prayers were answered... I had helped my father to bathe and he'd gone to bed for the night.  As for me, I was just beginning my nightly vigil of longing and waiting to hear from the one who had left with my heart and my every hope. Then out of the sorrowful loneliness of that night, as I lay in the dark waiting and praying for a call that I thought after many months would never come, the phone lit up and revealed that it was the beloved one.  As I cautiously answered with only, "Hello Stephen," tremors ran through my body as I listened to hear his voice.  In a tone of despondency and contrition, he simply said, "Can I come see you?" And my reply in a broken and tremulous voice was simply, "Yes, I'll be waiting for you."

As I had done so many times before in our love affair, I took up my seat by the window watching for him.  And a short time later, he arrived and as I watched him walk towards the front door, my heart leapt in my chest and pounded so hard I could hear the blood coursing through my veins.  I quickly went downstairs and opened the door just as he reached for the bell. He stepped through and without a word being spoken between us, he put his arms around me and our kiss and embrace was just like this.  No sorrowful apologies were offered and none was needed... God, I thought, had answered my prayers. I closed the door and he said, "Can I stay with you tonight?"  I answered, "Yes, Dearest" as I took his hand and we climbed the stairs together.

In the bedroom, as I closed the door, I told him of how I'd brought my elderly father to live with me... Stephen expressed doubts about staying, but I shared with him that my father wanted us to be happy together and I told him of how my father had prayed for him with me.  We undressed together and then prayed silently at the edge of the bed as we had done so many times before. And as we climbed under the covers and pressed the nakedness of our bodies together, we whispered the truths of our hearts to one another, and I still remember the joy and the wonder of not being alone in the world that night...