"The Imitation Of Life..."

"The Truth About HIV/AIDS..."

Today is National Black HIV/AIDS Awareness Day, a day to acknowledge progress in HIV prevention and care among Black/African American people, while recognizing the work still needed. To #StopHIVTogether, we must address HIV stigma and barriers.

"Remembering... World AIDS Day"

"Holding On, Letting Go"

This work depicts a gay man dying in a hospital bed holding the hand of his partner

Acrylic on canvas

Steve Walker

World AIDS Day is an annual observance aimed at raising awareness of the global epidemic of AIDS (acquired immunodeficiency syndrome) and the spread of HIV (human immunodeficiency virus). World AIDS Day occurs every December 1 and was established by the World Health Organization (WHO) in 1988.

When the first World AIDS Day was held in 1988, an estimated 90,000 to 150,000 people were infected with HIV, which causes AIDS. Within two decades more than 33 million people were living with HIV infection, and since 1981, when the first AIDS case was reported, some 25 million people had died of the disease.

AIDS Ribbon

Although no longer observed by only the gay community, World AIDS Day is a significant day of remembrance in LGBTQIA+ circles. In the early days of the epidemic, there was widespread disinterest in addressing the growing health crisis on the part of government and society in general because HIV/AIDS was first identified as affecting primarily men who have sex with men. The disease was originally called, GRIDS (gay-related immune deficiency syndrome). In the U.S., evangelical christians cited the disease as "God's punishment" of homosexuality. Religious leaders actively lobbied government to ignore addressing the crisis and promoted the stigmatization of LGBTQIA+ people and those afflicted by the disease.

Eventually, HIV/AIDS would infect a broad and diverse swath of society around the world including heterosexuals, children, blood product recipients, celebrities and the rich and poor alike. In the early days, the LGBTQIA+ community led by gay men organized to promote safer sex practices and to protest governmental inaction in the U.S. with only minor success. It wouldn't be until after actor Rock Hudson, (a lifelong closeted gay man and also a close friend of U.S. President and First Lady Ronald and Nancy Reagan) became infected and quickly succumbed to AIDS that government and society would begin to view the epidemic as a world health emergency culminating in the first World AIDS Day observance on December 1, 1988.

"We Were Always There..."

The Lost Generation

Gone, but not forgotten

"A True Love Story..."

This is a guest post from a friend who shares his story of a true love...

Monday, June 23, 1975 - I had just arrived in Chicago for a seminar for church musicians.  I had attended in previous years and had obtained some excellent choral music - I was excited about the "new stuff" I was going to acquire!  Registration was being held in the main auditorium, which would easily accommodate a crowd of 2000.  As I finished registering, I (literally) looked to the other side of the auditorium and locked eyes with a handsome guy who was also finishing his registration!  He smiled, I smiled... and suddenly I was "warm" all over!  I immediately thought of the (slightly altered) song...

Some enchanted morning, you may see a stranger

You may see a stranger across a crowded room

Somehow you know, you gonna know even then

Somewhere you'll see him again and again and again...!

As fate would have it, we just happened to sit at the same table at lunch... and there, each  of us was "testing the waters" and we both were coming to a preliminary conclusion that, "This is going to be a great seminar!" 

That evening after dinner there was an "icebreaker" reception, with lots of swapping of information... from toothpaste brands to family statuses.  We discovered that we both had December birthdays. I was (at that time) 38, and John Alfred Dalton, III was 24. As we talked, both of us "dropped bobby pins" but neither of us came right out and "revealed" anything... although without question we both knew that we were, "bird's of the same feather!"  That night...as I relieved myself of the pressures of the day, I fantasized about doing so with John!

Tuesday, June 24, 1975 - Our day was filled with many "reading" sessions, collecting copies of music to order and of course, flirting that became more overt, but other that the "accidental" bump there was no physical contact between us, unless you count the thrill of seated "knee to knee" contact in the recital hall during the reading sessions! To my disappointment, John skipped the evening meal and went shopping for shoes, but reappeared in time for the "talent contest" in the rehearsal hall. Afterwards, I took a chance and invited John back to my room, and to my delight, he accepted. That night, we talked and talked until it was really late... Even so, we both were still cautiously skirting the issue of the "elephant in the room"...our mutual attraction! 

Wednesday, June 25, 1975 - ...Still more "reading" sessions and seminars, and it was announced that we'd have a "free" evening!  After dinner we decided to visit the John Hancock Tower, just a short walk from our dormitory.  I guess this would count as our "first date" - just the two of us, alone in the crowd! 

The entrance fee was $4, and we took the express elevator to the 94th floor and the 360 degree observation deck!  The night scene was breathtaking, the lights of the city and the shimmering waters on the lake created an atmosphere (perhaps enhanced by my memory) that was definitely romantic.  Silently looking out at the sprawling city, elbow to elbow, then dropping sexual innuendos and chuckling at our rancid humor, I could tell we both sensed a strong, unspoken bond between us...even as we peed in adjoining urinals before we took the elevator back to ground level.  It was probably 9:30 or 10 p.m. before we got back to the dorm.  

We both had private rooms, but when we got to that moment when we should've parted, John said that he really didn't want to be alone that night, he didn't want to, "break the spell" that we both sensed.  I suggested (ever so innocently) that even though I only had a single bed, I'd be willing to share it if he was interested!  He was!

He went to his room, got his toothbrush and came back to mine.  We stripped to our underwear and I boldly suggested (again, ever so innocently) that since the bed was narrow, we'd probably have more room if we omitted the underwear too!  Again, John was very agreeable!  I slipped into the bed next to the wall.  John flipped off the light and slipped in beside me! And, instantaneously there was an erotic atmosphere in that moment when our naked bodies "melded" together in sensual bliss.

Within mere moments we were mouth on mouth, our tongues probing and engaged. As our legs entangled with our rock hard manly members being held tightly together, we experienced an incredible eroticism that defies description and that lasted for hours! Between us we whispered the words of love - "You're the man I've always wanted," "I want you in my life forever!" The scent of our musky essence hung thickly in the air of our tiny sanctuary, even as the taste of it lingered upon our lips well into the night! For we who had become lovers, sleep was almost non-existent, but the sacrifice of it was a blissful one and well worth the loss! 

July through October 1975 - Our romance grew despite the distance between us. During this time, I visited John in Boston and he visited me in Richmond!  In the process he decided to move to Richmond, and did so in September.  When we were together in Boston, we attended a service at the historic Trinity Episcopal Church (where Phillips Brooks was Rector and wrote the Christmas Carol "O Little Town of Bethlehem") and several other historic sites.  When John visited in Richmond we visited Colonial Williamsburg and several other places of historical note.  

One afternoon when we were alone he sat down at the piano and asked me to stand beside him...he wanted to sing to me!  These are the words he sang, a song made popular by Roberta Flack, but which I had never heard before:

The first time, ever I saw your face

I thought the sun rose in your eyes

And the moon and the stars

Were the gifts you gave

To the dark, and the endless skies

 

And the first time, ever I kissed your mouth

I felt the earth move in my hand

Like the trembling heart

Of a captive bird

That was there, at my command

My love

 

And the first time, ever I lay with you

I felt your heart so close to mine

And I knew our joy

Would fill the earth

And last, 'til the end of time

My love

From then on, it was "our" song...and I loved it, and still do! However, after the move to Richmond in September, John's enthusiasm for our relationship began to cool - he was much less eager to "interact" (notice the delicate phrasing) and indulge our passions. At the end of the month or perhaps it was in early October he announced that "people change" and that he was "moving on" - which he did! And with that, almost as quickly as it had begun, it had ended. To put it mildly, I was emotionally crushed!

November 1975 - December 1980 - Five years of mourning what was so hopelessly lost to me! Getting over John was emotionally one of the hardest things I ever had to do!  Nobody knew the great pain I was in as I opted not to share.  But whenever I was alone...often while driving... my tears would flow! In my life, I had loved and lost twice before and though those losses hurt, they were nothing like this!

October, 1986 - Eleven long years had passed since John told me "people change." Out of the blue, John called and wanted to meet! At that time I was living in the Virginia Tidewater area and he was still in Richmond - so we met at a McDonald's in Williamsburg. This was apparently intended to be his final "good-bye"...even though in my mind that had been accomplished a decade earlier! Over the time we'd been apart, he had taken a position in a prestigious Presbyterian Church, had married and divorced, and had now quit his church music director job, and was moving to California. Our conversation was pleasant, but nonetheless guarded. I mustered the courage to tell him that I missed him and still loved him, but there was no overt response! We talked for about an hour and then we went our separate ways... I was sad, but there were no tears as I had shed them all years before.

Late Fall, 1988 - Two years had passed since John left for California. I was a "Volunteer Coordinator" for the Tidewater chapter of the American Red Cross and one day I received a message (through a channel that I've now forgotten). It was that John had become very ill, and had died!  The suggestion was that the illness was AIDS, which was the scurouge of a generation. Sadly, the implication did not come as a surprise to me since John had often spoken of his desire to "live on the edge," even in those times when HIV/AIDS was a death sentence. 

Fall, 2023 - Somehow, nearly 50 years have passed since John and I began what I remember as our anxious and aching flirtation on that summer day in Chicago. As I approach 90 years on this earth, I still think of him often... I dwell on those magical "early" moments...and I give thanks for what was and what might have been!


"I am always remembering too... - David

"The Truth About What They Know..."

I don't watch broadcast TV anymore, I just don't... Streaming is probably the only technology that I can say I was an early adopter of. I didn't get a cell phone until 2004, nor a smart phone until 2018, but streaming, I was like sign me up!

Well. the data miners are making me hate streaming... Thanks to all the tech in our pockets and on our wrists and listening to us in our homes and at work and reporting our every movement, nothing about you is a secret anymore.  Google, Meta, Amazon and all the rest, they know more about you than you could recite yourself. So, since I'm a cheapskate, I tend to watch advertising supported streaming channels for the most part and they know who we are in my household.  The commercials are so focused that I find it irritating to be so pigeonholed by the folks paying for my entertainment.

Almost every commercial features a gay couple, which at first was a happily exciting development, afterall, who doesn't want to be able to see themselves represented... But lately, it's become a nuissance. And now that big pharma has bought into targeting the gays, it's lot's of commercials for HIV treatments and now PREP... It's annoying to be reminded that their stereotype is that, "Yeah, you're black and gay so you either have HIV, or you want to live a "lifestyle" where you're free to engage in high-risk sexual encounters.  Well, husband and I don't fit either of those molds.

Here's one of a number of spots for the PREP drug Apretude:

Now the unfunny part of how much I hate this ad and others like it is that I can't hold a candle to the comments on it from the Christian-Nazi crazies who want to hold it up and say, "Ah Ha! See, we told you so!" Don't believe me, read 'em here.

Geez, thanks big pharma!

Okay, so now that I've had my gripe about this merde (pardon my French), it took Saturday Night Live to strike a blow for equality on this (albeit with a healthy dose of homophobia):

And so here I am regretting buying that Netflix Watch Instantly box (which is how the first Roku devices were marketed) back in the summer of 2009.

I still have that first Roku I bought... I last used it about 6 years ago, but then the old CRT television it was attached to died, so I put it away on a shelf... Maybe when I've died, someone will give it to the Early Television Museum in Hilliard, Ohio so people of another generation can wonder what the hell it is.

"The Artist's Corner..."

"Carl with Photo of Juan and Bookmark"

Oil on canvas

George Towne

What I Like About This: A work from the artist's MFA thesis depicting survivors of the HIV/AIDS crisis in the 1980s. In each of the works in the series, the artist painted subjects with mementos of their lost lovers. Here a black man holds a treasured photo of his beloved.  Significantly, the artist has powerfully captured in the subject the sense of pain and loss that characterized the early days of the epidemic when it was largely ignored by the larger society.

"The Artist's Corner..."

"Roland with Christmas Ornaments Collected with Norbert"

Oil on canvas

George Towne

What I Like About This: One of a series of paintings created by the artist for his MFA thesis depicting survivors of the HIV/AIDS crisis with mementos of their lost partners.

"We Were Always There..."

What I Like About This: A black gay couple in NYC photographed in their home (circa early 1980s). This couple courageously agreed to be included in a photo essay of the lives of NYC's gay community during the early days of the HIV/AIDS epidemic. They boldly displayed their love and affection in this intimate pose, a statement of defiance, pride and bravery.

"We Were Always There..."

What I Like About This: A gay couple pose for a photograph in their home sometime during the 1980s AIDS crisis. Their loving embrace was meant to tell the story of us and that "we were always there."

"Can We Talk About The Truth...?"

I don't think this appeal applies to most of the visitors to this blog, but if only one person benefits from this, then it was worth my time in sharing my thoughts about this.

I often struggle with certain stereotypes, especially those ascribed to gay men in particular.  So let's begin with what a stereotype is:

In social psychology, a stereotype is a fixed, over generalized belief about a particular group or class of people. By stereotyping we infer that a person has a whole range of characteristics and abilities that we assume all members of that group have. For example, a “hells angel” biker dresses in leather.

I am a black man, and there are numerous stereotypes attached to this innate truth... For instance, before meeting me, people assume that I might speak "ebonically-correct" english...  I don't, my vernacular is far closer to the "King's English," and interestingly, people have often commented with surprise on this since it opposes a stereotype they have in their mind. I also happen to be a "same-gender-loving" person, and I very definitely and generally choose to identify myself this way as opposed to as "gay" because I don't want people to ascribe to me some of the most commonly believed (and in my mind, negative) "gay" stereotypes.  Perhaps the most significant of these is the belief that "gay" men are sex obsessed, promiscuous and are generally unable or unwilling to maintain long-term monogamous relationships.  And this begs the question of where did this stereotype come from...?  The answer is of course as with all stereotypes, history and often some significant amount of at least anecdotal truth.

The History: For most of contemporary history, being gay has been negatively viewed as an aberration at best and an abomination at worst. As such, we've throughout this time, hidden ourselves from society to the best of our ability.  Everyone knew that we were always there, laws were passed to criminalize even our existence... there even arose quaint descriptions of us, think, "Oh Uncle Johnny is a 'confirmed bachelor.'"  So, in the cold light of day, we for the most part in the eyes of society weren't allowed to even exist.

The Truth: Well, to turn off one's sex drive is to turn off the strongest of the instincts innate in all living things, including we who are human... for the most part, an impossible feat.  So although for most of contemporary history, while some gay men have been able to overrule this instinct, most of us have not and this brings us to what we've done throughout this long history, albeit in the dark and in the shadows.  

There have always been parks and greenspaces, molly houses and later other cruising grounds like bars and clubs, where despite society's disapproval, we've gathered to perhaps socialize, but more importantly and ultimately found opportunities to fulfill our sexual desires.  Since society until only recently has denied us what I believe is the normal human progression of affection, sex, bonding and ultimately life partnership (marriage), our only outlet for our instinctual drive has been sex for the sake of sex, usually with multiple and often anonymous sex partners.  This has only been exacerbated in the current era with the rise of tech and in the case of gay men who fit these stereotypes, apps like Grindr which only exists to facilitate anonymous, promiscuous sexual encounters.

So What?:  Well, since the arrival of the sexual revolution in the 1960s and the concurrent gay liberation movement and its impact on gay men (freedom to act on sexual desire, if not love), we've in many ways internalized, adopted and co-oped the behaviors that grew out of historical necessity, but which have now put us at risk time and time again.  Because of the wide-spread hyper-sexualized attitudes of many gay men, we've become the "canary in the coal mine" of disease transmission.  One need look back only one generation to see the impact of such behaviors.  That HIV and AIDS found its foothold in the human population through the promiscuity of gay men was not surprising to Dr. Fauci and other researched who fought the disease despite a lack of political will to act.  And unsurprisingly, this disease pattern has repeated itself many times, remember how before the pandemic, we were worried about super gonorrhea and hepatitis?  Well, now, monkey pox has found in gay men an easy vector to enter the human population.

In this current outbreak, experts say that monkeypox is a disease predominantly spread through sexual networks of men who have sex with men. Gay, bisexual, and other men who have sex with men are the high-risk group, and of the roughly 8 million men who have sex with men in the U.S., approximately 1 in every 750 caught monkeypox in the month of August. That group is about 350 times more likely to catch monkeypox than women or heterosexual men who are a part of the low-risk group and whose chances of catching monkeypox last month were about 1 in 260,000.

Source:  What Are Your Chances of Catching Monkeypox? - NPR.org

So Why Should You Care?: I'm not sure you should... but maybe in light of the above you should at least think about it.  I don't propose to declare that gay men and our culture are the only problem, but I do know that the world (at least in the West) has changed enough that we no longer need to preclude a hope for love, bonding and a safe monogamous long-term relationship.  I'm encouraged that this latest generation has a chance to experience love 'first' and can do so with more freedom than every generation of gay men that came before them.  I am confident that in time, homophobia, fear, hate and the behaviors they promote will diminish and be forgotten.  I believe a day will arrive when the only thing that matters in human relationships will be love.  In the meantime, give some thought to what's truly important in life.

"Fear Eats the Soul"

"We Were Always There..."

What I Like About This: The bravery of this couple to open their lives the photographers eyewitness in an era when fear and loathing ruled the day is incredibly admirable.  This image, taken during the AIDS crisis, sought to counter the popular notions that led people not to care that gay men were dying. Their loving embrace spoke to the truth of the matter, which is that we are human and that "we were always there."

"This Made Me Smile..."

When I was young, cable tv was one of my big aspirational goals, for you see Detroit, thanks to it's then very corrupt city government was one of the last big cities to award a cable franchise.  When it finally did happen in 1981, my mother wouldn't hear of it, even if I was going to pay for it myself.  She'd complain, "Why on Earth would you want to pay for some smut that's not fit to be on free tv...?"  So, we never got cable and when I moved into my own home, I thought about it many time but never pulled the trigger. Then along came Netflix (DVDs by mail) and then streaming, one of only a few things that I've been an early adopter of...

And this is of course what I found out I'd been missing... And it's exactly what my mother said was the reason why we'd never have cable.  I have to laugh now, but in part Mom was right...

"A Time To Give Thanks..."

Dr. Anthony Fauci, leading the battle against HIV/AIDS in 1981

There for us then... Here for us now.

Thank You!

"A Thought To Share..."

As the world continues to reel in the grips of the COVID-19 pandemic, for perhaps the first time since learning of it back in December, I'm worried about the future.  I'm not really worried about myself, but I am concerned about my children and grandchildren.  I've lived a relatively long life, especially for a SGL man of my generation who survived coming of age during the arrival of HIV/AIDS.  So, I can truly say that in looking back on things and knowing what could have been, I'm satisfied with the life I've had.

I always knew that I was born to be a father (which was hard to reconcile with the realization at a very early age that I was also born a same gender loving man). Raising my children has been the joy of my life. And so, in the midst of all the great uncertainty about the future, I feel somewhat helpless to assure my children that they have a bright future ahead.  In my heart of hearts, I know that their lives will be very different from the expectations that we had just a short few months ago.  As I home-schooled my youngest yesterday, I realized that for my children and me, a new "normal" is taking shape before our eyes. 

And so, even as death shows itself and fear grips the hearts of the many, I work hard to reassure my children, especially my oldest, that although the world will change, the resiliency of the human heart and it's most powerful attribute: Love, will allow us to forge a new happiness and a new way of living in our rapidly changing world.

So, if you, Dear Reader, are wondering why day after day I soldier on with what you see here, it's because I know that love always finds a way. No matter what else may change, love can and will be a constant in our lives if we let it be.  So, if you find comfort, joy, or even just a moment to smile in what you read and view here, then I've done my small part to remind you and myself that we belong in the world and life and love are for us too.

It's okay to be afraid right now, but seek the courage to do what you must to get through the unknown and remember:

"Fear Eats the Soul"

"The Imitation Of Life..."

"Alto Riesgo" (High Risk) - In this short from the Spanish television and webseries, "Indetectables" which promotes HIV awareness and sexual health information with comic relief, a police detective visits a public health clinic in search of PEP (post-exposure prophylaxis).

click the closed captions icon for English subtitles

I love European sensibilities about sex and life in general, they are far less prudish and hung-up about it than Americans...

"The Imitation Of Life..."

"We Were Always There..."

Gideon Mendel’s "The Ward"

Memories from the heart of the Aids crisis shows true love in a time of terrible tragedy.

These heartbreaking and incredibly moving images show the affection and love shown during the height of the Aids crisis. Photographer Gideon Mendel’s project The Ward began in 1993 when he spent a number of weeks on the Charles Bell wards in London’s Middlesex Hospital. All the patients on the ward were dying with the knowledge that there was no cure for the disease. During this time antiretroviral medications were not available and patients on the ward faced the prospect of an early death.

"The Truth About Who We Are..."

Steve, Activist, Melbourne, Australia
by thegaymenproject
photo by Kevin Truong

Steve, in his own words: "Being gay means I was lucky enough to be born homosexual, to be born into this community that has existed in every cave, village and city for as long as we have existed as humans. Being gay gives me a connection to people I’ve never met, gives me a connection to a rich history, but most importantly it gives me a community that I care and fight for.

Being gay gives me the freedom to choose my own destiny, to be free from so many of the shackles that society dictates to the majority, I thrive in my difference and I believe this makes our entire society richer.

I think I’m too young to call anything I’ve done a success, I’d run the risk of looking a little smug. Living overseas, graduating with first class honors from a top university are all successes, but I have so many other people that I owe for these successes, I wouldn’t be where I am now without the support of other people, so I don’t want to take all the credit for this.

Personally however I think my greatest success is my acceptance of who I am and the pride I now take in who I am. It’s a great challenge to overcome your insecurities, I’ve had many of them, and I continue to have them, but I’ve come to a point where I own my insecurities, and I’ve never been happier.

I like to say we’re always coming out, to a certain degree. We have to come out whether overtly or subconsciously to every person we interact with, our sexuality is such a huge influence on who we are as a person and what our place within society is. I’m sad to say there are certain times I have chosen not to come out in certain environments and keep cosy in a very glittery wardrobe. 
My ‘classic’ coming out was in two episodes, Mum first when I was 13 then Dad when I was 17. Mum’s first reaction was “never tell your father, I don’t know how he will react,” her reaction was one of fear, not of me and my sexuality but fear for how society will treat me. It’s so sad that parents of fags are genuinely afraid for their child because of how heterosexuals will treat them.

Dad’s first reaction was “I’m so proud of you, you’re an incredible young man and you will achieve great things” (I may be embellishing a bit, but it went something like that). My immediate response was to look at my Mum and say “ALL THIS TIME!!!” But I don’t hold a grudge, she knew no better, and unfortunately parents these days don’t know how to deal with their child coming out. The language around coming out is the same language as that of mourning, or the loss of a limb; “It’s okay, you’ll be the same person in my eyes,” “…well despite this, I still love you.” It’s like, really? Despite what? Despite the fact that your child has now joined the ranks of an incredible community, immediately making them more progressive, empathetic and happy, you’ll still love them? How condescending! There are schools of thought out there that homosexuality is the next step in human evolution, and with technological advancement the idea of heterosexuality for procreation will become null. So to the parents thinking it’s such a sad thing that your child has just evolved into an amazing little homo, shame on you, go bake them a rainbow cake immediately. Less of this “I suppose you’ll have to do” and more confetti at coming outs, please!

I’m an eternal optimist and have found my place in Melbourne’s LGBTIQ community during a period of relevant calm, though this will all change very soon with the inevitable introduction of marriage equality and the changing landscape in the response to the HIV epidemic. So my experience of the community lacks the nostalgia of ‘Club X’ and ‘Bar Y,’ which is so often the frame people view this question with. I have been so lucky to have discovered the community behind the bars (though ironically, it takes going to a bar to find these communities, I know, it’s like Inception). I had to find these opportunities myself, the volunteer work, learning from the old queens I respect so much, surrounding myself by likeminded people and running by my golden rule, “be infinitely kind,” and you will get infinite kindness in return.

I live in a Collingwood bubble, here in Melbourne that means I’m a “Northside gay” and I must have a beard. I’m very lucky that my local bar is one of the world’s longest-continuously running gay bars (The Laird, I highly recommend it) that is rich in history and in community to this day means that I have been well placed to develop a positive identity for myself and an experience of my community that is so positive. Every part of the LGBTIQ community has its stereotypes, for example The Laird is the quintessential hairy-chested, hypermasculine sometimes-leather bar. But nowhere else do I feel more comfortable vogueing it up on the dance floor and nowhere else do I feel so accepted for however I want to express myself. It sounds a bit silly, but in general about various scenes, it’s not about the beard, the six pack, the tan, the politics, it’s what you have inside that really counts, and people will see that and appreciate that. If they don’t, then you’re hanging around with the wrong people.

We have a diverse and rich queer scene here too, think boys, beards and heels, with a reputation for groundbreaking art and performance from Berlin to New York. This is Melbourne, we’re dirty, we lack pretense and glamour, we do ‘different’ and we’re all the more happy for it. Melbourne rocks.

(Advice to my younger self) Listen and learn. Everyone is smarter than you, everyone has something to contribute to you and you have the duty to take it on board and pass it on. I’ve learnt this now, but I wish I knew this when I was a pretentious teenager trying so hard to fit in. I’d say to myself, look at who you really are, stop pretending, stop trying, you’ll become yourself eventually so just stop wasting time trying to be someone else – once you do, you will never be happier."

"The Imitation Of Life..."