"The Views To Love..."

This is love...

"The Truth Is Always Stranger Than Fiction..."

"Was homosexuality to blame...?"

Today's encore selection -- from Brunelleschi's Dome by Ross King. In the 1400s, the height of the Renaissance in Florence -- the time of Cosimo de' Medici, Filippo Brunelleschi, Donatello, Leonardo da Vinci and countless other guiding lights -- prostitutes were required by law to wear high heels and bells on their heads, widespread homosexuality was blamed for defeat in battle, and criminals had to be imported from other cities to satisfy the people's insatiable demand for public executions:

"[After the Florentines' military defeat at Lucca] a familiar scapegoat was used to explain the Florentines' ineptness in battle: homosexuality. For years clergymen such as the Franciscan firebrand Bernardino of Siena had been raging from the pulpit that the crime of sodomy was destroying the city. So famous was Florence for homosexual activity that during the fourteenth century the German slang for 'sodomite' was Florenzer. In 1432 the government took steps to curtail this perceived root of its troubles on the battlefield by establishing an agency to identify and prosecute homosexuals, the Ufficiali di Notte, 'Office of the Night' (a name made even more colorful by the fact that notte was slang for 'bugger'). ... A less official method of detecting homosexuals was for mothers to rattle their sons' coin bags: if the coins exclaimed, 'fire fire fire' the money was said to be the gift of a sodomite.

"This vice squad worked in tandem with the Orwellian-sounding Ufficiali dell'Onesta 'Office of Decency,' which was charged with licensing and administering the municipal brothels that had been created in the area around the Mercato Vecchio. The specific aim of these public brothels was to wean Florentine men from the 'greater evil' of sodomy. Prostitutes became a common sight in Florence, not least because the law required them to wear distinctive garb: gloves, high-heeled shoes, and a bell on the head. ...

The Stinche 

"Held ... in Florence's communal prison the Stinche ... were more serious criminals-heretics, sorcerers, witches and murderers -- for whom unpleasant fates awaited: decapitation, amputation or burning at the stake. Executions took place outside the walls, in the Prato della Giustizia, 'Field of Justice.' These were popular public spectacles -- so popular, in fact, that criminals often had to be imported from other cities to satisfy the public's demand for macabre drama."

Brunelleschi's Dome: How a Renaissance Genius Reinvented ArchitectureAuthor: Ross King
Publisher: Penguin Books
Date: Copyright by Ross King, 2000
Pages: 126-127, 132-133

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"Same Gender Loving People - No. 1254"

"Happiness And Love Are The Same Thing...”

Positive images of people like me... The truth of the matter is that we all need to see people like ourselves. So everyday, I'll post a photo, drawing or some other artwork that depicts Same Gender Loving People as what we are... Only Human.

"The Truth About Love..."

In today's excerpt - Where to we find enduring love? Answer: Oxytocin. Infidelity? Testosterone. Heartbreak? Low serotonin and endorphins. In fact, our loved ones are actually present in our brains - neurochemically - and when lost it results in chemical trauma for the brain:

"An American study of over four thousand men found that husbands with high testosterone levels were 43 percent more likely to get divorced and 38 percent more likely to have extramarital affairs than men with lower levels. They were also 50 percent less likely to get married at all. Men with the least amounts of
testosterone were more likely to get married and to stay married, maybe because low testosterone levels make men calmer, less aggressive, less intense, and more cooperative.

"The desire to commit to someone is strongly linked to ... oxytocin. ... Oxytocin is released by the pituitary gland and acts on the ovaries and testes to regulate reproduction. Researchers suspect that this hormone is important for forming close social bonds. The levels of this chemical rise when couples watch romantic movies, hug, or hold hands. Prairie voles, when injected with oxytocin, pair much faster than normally. Blocking oxytocin prevents them from bonding in a normal way. This is similar in humans, because couples bond to certain characteristics in each other. This is why you are attracted to the same type of man or woman repeatedly. In general, levels of oxytocin are lower in men, except after an orgasm, where they are raised more than 500 percent. This may explain why men feel very sleepy after an orgasm. This is the same hormone released in babies during breast-feeding, which makes them sleepy as well.

"Oxytocin is also related to the feelings of closeness and being 'in love' when you have regular sex for several reasons. First, the skin is sensitized by oxytocin, encouraging affection and touching behavior. Then, oxytocin levels rise during subsequent touching and eventually even with the anticipation of being touched. Oxytocin increases during sexual activity, peaks at orgasm, and stays elevated for a period of time after intercourse. ... In addition, there is an amnesic effect created by oxytocin during sex and orgasm that blocks negative memories people have about each other for a period of time. The same amnesic effect occurs from the release of oxytocin during childbirth, while
a mother is nursing to help her forget the labor pain, and during long, stressful nights spent with a newborn so that she can bond to her baby with positive feelings and love.

"Higher oxytocin levels are also associated with an increased feeling of trust. In a landmark study by Michael Kosfeld and colleagues from Switzerland published in the journal Nature, intranasal oxytocin was found to increase trust. Men who inhale a nasal spray spiked with oxytocin give more money to partners in a risky investment game than do men who sniff a spray containing a placebo. This substance fosters the trust needed for friendship, love, families, economic transactions, and political networks. According to the study's authors, 'Oxytocin specifically affects an individual's willingness to accept social risks arising through interpersonal interactions.' ...

"What happens in the brain when you lose someone you love? Why do we hurt, long, even obsess about the other person? When we love someone, they come to live in the emotional or limbic centers of our brains. He or she actually occupies nerve-cell pathways and physically lives in the neurons and synapses of the brain. When we lose someone, either through death, divorce, moves, or
breakups, our brain starts to get confused and disoriented. Since the person lives in the neuronal connections, we expect to see her, hear her, feel her, and touch her. When we cannot hold her or talk to her as we usually do, the brain centers where she lives becomes inflamed looking for her. Overactivity in the limbic brain has been associated with depression and low serotonin levels, which is why we have trouble sleeping, feel obsessed, lose our appetites, want to isolate ourselves, and lose the joy we have about life. A deficit in endorphins, which modulate pain and pleasure pathways in the brain, also occurs, which may be responsible for the physical pain we feel during a breakup."

Author: Daniel G. Amen, M.D.
Title: The Brain in Love
Publisher: Three Rivers Press
Date: Copyright 2007 by Daniel G. Amen, M.D.
Pages: 64-68

"The Truth About Love..."

In today's excerpt - happy couples. It turns out that how couples handle good news may matter even more to their relationship than their ability to support each other under difficult circumstances:

"Numerous studies show that intimate relationships, such as marriages, are the single most important source of life satisfaction. Although most couples enter these relationships with the best of intentions, many break up or stay together but languish. Yet some do stay happily married and thrive. What is their secret?

"A few clues emerge from the latest research in the nascent field of positive psychology. Founded in 1998 by psychologist Martin E. P. Seligman of the University of Pennsylvania, this discipline includes research into positive emotions, human strengths and what is meaningful in life. In the past few years positive psychology researchers have discovered that thriving couples accentuate the positive in life more than those who stay together unhappily or split do. They not only cope well during hardship but also celebrate the happy moments and work to build more bright points into their lives.

"It turns out that how couples handle good news may matter even more to their relationship than their ability to support each other under difficult circumstances. Happy pairs also individually experience a higher ratio of upbeat emotions to negative ones than people in unsuccessful liasions do. Certain tactics can boost this ratio and thus help to strengthen connections with others. Another ingredient for relationship success: cultivating passion. Learning to become devoted to your significant other in a healthy way can lead to a more satisfying union.

"Until recently, studies largely centered on how romantic partners respond to each other's misfortunes and on how couples manage negative emotions such as jealousy and anger - an approach in line with psychology's traditional focus on alleviating deficits. One key to successful bonds, the studies indicated, is believing that your partner will be there for you when things go wrong. Then, in 2004, psychologist Shelly L. Gable, currently at the University of California, Santa Barbara, and her colleagues found that romantic couples share positive events with each other surprisingly often, leading the scientists to surmise that a partner's behavior also matters when things are going well.

"In a study published in 2006 Gable and her coworkers videotaped dating men and women in the laboratory while the subjects took turns discussing a positive and negative event. After each conversation, members of each pair rated how 'responded to' - how understood, validated and cared for - they felt by their partner. Meanwhile observers rated the responses on how active-constructive (engaged and supportive ) they were - as indicated by intense listening, positive comments and questions, and the like. Low ratings reflected a more passive, generic response such as 'That's nice, honey.' Separately, the couples evaluated their commitment to and satisfaction with the relationship.

"The researchers found that when a partner proffered a supportive response to cheerful statements, the 'responded to' ratings were higher than they were after a sympathetic response to negative news, suggesting that how partners reply to good news may be a stronger determinant of relationship health than their reaction to unfortunate incidents. The reason for this finding, Gable surmises, may be that fixing a problem or dealing with a disappointment - though important for a relationship - may not make a couple feel joy, the currency of a happy pairing."

Suzann Pileggi, "The Happy Couple," Scientific American Mind, Jan/Feb 2010, pp. 34-36.

"A Truth Shared..."

In today's encore excerpt - three kinds of love; attachment love, caregiver's love, and sex:

"In the terrain of the human heart, scientists tell us, at least three independent but interrelated brain systems are at play, all moving us in their own way. To untangle love's mysteries, neuroscience distinguishes between neural networks for attachment, for caregiving, and for sex. Each is fueled by a differing set of brain chemicals and hormones, and each runs through a disparate neuronal circuit. Each adds its own chemical spice to the many varieties of love.

"Attachment determines who we turn to for succor; these are the people we miss the most when they are absent. Caregiving gives us the urge to nurture the people for whom we feel most concern. When we are attached, we cling; when we are caregiving we provide. And sex is, well, sex. ...

"The forces of affection that bind us to each other preceded the rise of the rational brain. Love's reasons have always been subcortical, though love's execution may require careful plotting. ... The three major systems for loving - attachment, caregiving, and sexuality - all follow their own complex rules. At a given moment any one of these three can be ascendant - say, as a couple feels a warm togetherness, or when they cuddle their own baby, or while they make love. When all three of these love systems are operating, they feed romance at its richest: a relaxed, affectionate, and sensual connection where rapport blossoms. ...

"Neuroscientist Jaak Pansepp ... finds a neural corollary between the dynamics of opiate addiction and the dependence on the people for whom we feel our strongest attachments. All positive interactions with people, he proposes, owe [at least] part of their pleasure to the opioid system, the very circuitry that links with heroin and other addictive substances. ... Even animals, he finds, prefer to spend time with those in whose presence they have secreted oxytocin and natural opioids, which induce a relaxed serenity - suggesting that these brain chemicals cement our family ties and friendships as well as our love relationships."

Daniel Goleman, Social Intelligence, Bantam, Copyright 2006 by Daniel Goleman, pp. 189-193.

"The Truth Today..."

"The Risk of Being Loved..."

In today's excerpt - the risk inherent in positive
emotions: observations from the psychiatrist George
Vaillant, who has long been the chief curator of the
Harvard Study of Adult Development, one of the
longest-running - and probably the most
exhaustive - longitudinal studies of mental and
physical well-being in history. Begun in 1937 as a
study of healthy, well-adjusted Harvard sophomores
(all male), it has followed its subjects for more than 70
years:

"As Freud was displaced by biological psychiatry and
cognitive psychology - and the massive data sets and
double-blind trials that became the industry
standard - Vaillant's work risked obsolescence. But in
the late 1990s, a tide called 'positive psychology'
came in, and lifted his boat. Driven by a savvy, brilliant
psychologist at the University of Pennsylvania named
Martin Seligman, the movement to create a scientific
study of the good life has spread wildly through
academia and popular culture (dozens of books, a
cover story in Time, attention from Oprah,
etc.).

"Vaillant became a kind of godfather to the field, and a
champion of its message that psychology can
improve ordinary lives, not just treat disease. But in
many ways, his role in the movement is as
provocateur. Last October, I watched him give a
lecture to Seligman's graduate students on the power
of positive emotions - awe, love, compassion,
gratitude, forgiveness, joy, hope, and trust (or
faith). 'The happiness books say, 'Try happiness.
You'll like it a lot more than misery' - which is perfectly
true,' he told them. But why, he asked, do people tell
psychologists they'd cross the street to avoid
someone who had given them a compliment the
previous day?

"In fact, Vaillant went on, positive emotions make us
more vulnerable than negative ones. One reason is
that they're future-oriented. Fear and sadness have
immediate payoffs - protecting us from attack or
attracting resources at times of distress. Gratitude
and joy, over time, will yield better health and deeper
connections - but in the short term actually put us at
risk. That's because, while negative emotions tend to
be insulating, positive emotions expose us to the
common elements of rejection and
heartbreak.

"To illustrate his point, he told a story about one of
his 'prize' [Harvard] Study men, a doctor and
well-loved husband. 'On his 70th birthday,' Vaillant
said, 'when he retired from the faculty of medicine, his
wife got hold of his patient list and secretly wrote to
many of his longest-running patients, 'Would you write
a letter of appreciation?' And back came 100
single-spaced, desperately loving letters - often with
pictures attached. And she put them in a lovely
presentation box covered with Thai silk, and gave it to
him.' Eight years later, Vaillant interviewed the man,
who proudly pulled the box down from his
shelf. 'George, I don't know what you're going to make
of this,' the man said, as he began to cry, 'but I've
never read it.' 'It's very hard,' Vaillant said, 'for most of
us to tolerate being loved.'

Joshua Wolf Shenk, "What Makes Us Happy?" The
Atlantic, June 2009, pp. 47-48.