Today was an anniversary of sorts... It was exactly 20 years ago today, that I first declared my love to the beloved one. He and I had been pacing the edges of the dance floor we call love for a little more than two months, and I knew that we would either embrace one another and begin the dance of love, or depart from each other, never to look back again.
I had pondered what to do about what I was feeling that entire Sunday, with much of it spent on my knees in prayer. As dusk arrived, the decision was set in my mind and more importantly in my heart that I would tell him the truth of my heart. Finally, I rose up bravely and with more courage than I had ever felt in my life. I steeled myself and I called the beloved one and asked if I could come see him. He said, "Yes."
Once there with him, with trembling hands and throbbing temple, I revealed the truth and the precious desires of my heart to him. He listened quietly and intently. And as I spoke, the beloved one responded, speaking to me only with his eyes until, as I prepared to leave, we parted with a kiss and I told him for the first time, "I love you..."
Everything in my life changed that day... I've never been the same since. Over the course of the three years that followed, I learned well why earlier that day I had been warned but also encouraged by God. But one thing has remained the same, from that first time, to the every time of every day since, when I say to him, "I love you..." (even though he can't hear it), it's still as true as I was told it would be on that sunny autumn day while talking to God.
I am always remembering, and my greatest fear is that I may not live long enough to forget...
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