"I Am Always Remembering..."

It's that day set aside to honor our mothers, but shouldn't that be every day? I know there are some who are motherless for many reasons, but I thankfully am not one of those, not really. Although my mother departed this earth 19 years ago, not a single day has passed before or since that I've not given thanks for the great blessing of my wonderful mother. 

Today, Mother will get her flowers from me yet again, just as she has for more than 50 years. But now the beautiful yellow roses will decorate her grave and help to sweeten my remembrances of her. I'll be accompanied by my husband at the cemetery this morning and I'll be remembering all my visits there over these now many years... But even while I'm there today, one visit to Mother's grave will surely come to mind as it does every year. And it will be of that Mother's Day when I was accompanied at the cemetery by the beloved one. 

It was 2006 when I took the beloved one to the most hallowed ground I know, to honor the memory of the most wonderful of wonderful mothers. Our romance was still in its infancy and yet the fullness of my love and devotion to him was second only to my love for my mother. Even before I asked him to come along that Sunday, he knew I would. Just a year before that when I took yellow roses to my mother's grave for only the second time since her passing, I wrote about it in a blog and he'd read it. His comments on it were among the first connections between us which would just a year later bring us together to my mother's grave.

That memory of standing together with him, holding his hand for the briefest moment of our visit is perhaps the most vivid memory of him. We together visited almost every other place of significance in my life. And every day, I remain haunted by the memories of the beloved one. I can see and hear him in all those many places, including whenever I'm standing at the grave of my mother. 

I am always remembering... and my greatest fear is that I may not live long enough to forget.

"Fear Eats the Soul"

Epilogue:

For my mother