"A Little Sane Advice..."

10 Types of Gay Guys You Don’t Want to Lose Your Anal Virginity To

GayGuys.com
Blake Michaels
September 9, 2015

To this generation of gay guys, losing your anal virginity is a big deal (don’t ask me why). I get the draw, though. Bottoming requires a psychological wall to break down. As children, we’re trained to be a man – and penetration is totally a “woman” thing, right? It’s tough to break that weight of comparison down as we get older, so we wait till we’re ready. But this is 2015, honey, and if you’re not putting the grind to work, you’re missing out on some serious pleasure.

Choosing the guy you’re going to lose it to might affect your entire perception on what bottoming is. If your first time is bad, you’re going to associate future experiences with it. I’ve known people who never gave it a second chance because their experience was too traumatic. Well, to save you time, here are some of the guys you should never EVER let into your cherry:

#1) The Idiot

Attractiveness is super hot. It doesn’t matter if your body might be slamming, if you are a total idiot in and out of the bed, the whole experience isn’t going to be as compassionate as it should. He needs to be gentle and sincere. An idiot is going to make you feel like you need to babysit him.

#2) Your Crush who doesn’t Like You Back

Losing it to your crush is always going to be an amazing thing, but when you know for a fact he doesn’t like you back, losing it to him might be super traumatic. The built up tension alone is going to be powerful, which is going to enhance your romantic impulses. If you liked him before, you’re going to really, really, really like him now.

#3) The Sexpert

This guy knows exactly what to do and might even give you some tips in the middle of the action. You might feel comfortable with him at first because he “knows what he’s doing,” but there’s a high likely chance he will grow impatient. He’s not inexperienced in sex and might miss the mark in emotional sensitivity. The result might be him rushing too fast with the whole thing, not giving you a chance to relax.

#4) The One-Nighter

As someone who experienced my anal virginity loss with a one-nighter, I can tell you it’s not ever going to be something to boast about. You don’t even know the guy, which makes him less compassionate. Not to mention, you guys might be slightly drunk, which will make things less focused and probably more painful. The thing about your first time is that it needs to be comfortable, otherwise you’re going to get a bad impression on it and never want to come back to it again.

#5) The Ten-Incher

Trust me, there are going to be plenty of times in your life to experiment with these kinds of third legs, but now is not the time. Some guys go full throttle the first time and never turn back, but if you want my advice, I say, start slow then build your way up. Find a nice guy who is average in length. You’re going to be pretty nervous at the beginning, which is going to make you tighten up. The last thing you want inside you is a ten-inch dong.

#6) The Apologizer

Nothing brings you out of the moment more than hearing a guy in bed say, “I’m sorry…” or “…what?” You both need to be zoned in on the prize together. An apologizer usually feels insecure all the time about what he’s doing so he is never going to enter anything with 100% full confidence, which is exactly the opposite of what you need.

#7) The Aggressor

These guys are usually found at the gym pumping iron or at the bar grabbing guys and making a fool. His body might be hot (and he can do a lot of things to you), but he will usually lack empathy for your needs. It’s going to be all about him and power – you’re a virgin. To him, that’s extreme power and he’ll probably take advantage of it, leaving your poor butt hole scared for life.

#8) The Pressuring Bully

You don’t really want to lose it to him, but he’s constantly pressuring you to. It might even happen without you pre-planning one night – the tip might slip in and before you know it, the whole thing is inside you and your V-card is no more. That’s not okay! Any man who is pressuring you into doing something you don’t want to do, especially when it involves your virginity, deserves to be bashed in the balls. You are in control of everything you do, not him.

#9) The Emotional Wreck

Anything and everything you say is probably going to make him either fall in love with you, cry, or both. He might be hung up on his ex, he might have daddy issues, who knows. All you know is that he’s one step away from crying for mommy. He’s not altogether in the head, that’s okay. But right now, you want someone who won’t make you feel weird or guilty for nothing. You’re the one losing your anal virginity – it should be you who should be needing some emotional support.

#10) The Shallow Asshole

We’re all a little bit shallow, which is the very reason why a lot of us are single. But when you’re in bed with someone like that, it can be a little weird. The pressure to look sexy and feel hot is going to be constant, and, let’s face it, losing your virginity doesn’t let you give your best Tyra face. The last thing you need to be worrying about is your body.