"On The Eve Of The Lover's Moon..."

This morning will mark 5 years since that fateful winter's day when the largest part of my heart was torn from me and left bleeding on Carolina soils already red with the blood of the earth.  

Every year with the passing of this day, I pray and somehow expect it to hurt less. Somehow, I expect it to be less remembered and less significant to my everyday "living of life" and yet, that's not ever been true.  The pain is always, always with me and it's just as fresh and just as sharp and piercing today as it was on that fateful day, that day now eighteenhundred and twenty-seven days ago, that last day when the final tear rent my heart, and my soul, and my life in two.

And so this morning, as I looked up at the waxing moon, I remembered every moment of that last day, that last week, last month, and last year when my heart and my love for him had grown into it's own fullness and we had together and finally arrived at the real moment of truth. I remembered every moment of that painful day just as I do everyday without fail.  And as I looked out this morning on the "Eve of The Lover's Moon", as I have done for 100s of times before, I bid the Moon, "Take him my love and visit with him that greatest part of me which he still possesses."

Tomorrow the Lover's Moon will arrive for the 60th time since I saw him last.  And this time, the Lover's Moon comes on "The Anniversary That Never Was" and I am already wondering how I will endure the day to come. I know I will remember again those last things said and done on this day, the day that the sun rose to shine on us together for but one last time.  And I will remember again everything that happened from the first day to this last day when the greater part of my soul and greatest part of my heart died and fell into darkness... 

And so on this day and again tomorrow, as in all my tomorrows, my life will be filled with the painful darkness of always remembering.

"I am always remembering..."

IWTFY