"Love Is Freedom... Live Fearlessly"
Wednesday, February 3, 2016
"Same Gender Loving People - No. 2258"
"Love Sees The World Together..."
Positive images of people like me... The truth of the matter is that we all need to see people like ourselves. So everyday, I'll post a photo, drawing or some other artwork that depicts Same Gender Loving People as what we are... Only Human.
"The Truth About Who We Are..."
by thegaymenproject |
photos by Kevin Truong
photo by Kevin Truong
Alexander, in his own words: "(Being gay means) Estar a favor de la diversidad y de la libertad de ser quien uno quiere ser, sin necesidad de encajar o cumplir ciertos patrones. No solo es la atracción física que uno siente hacia a otro varón, sino que abarca las mismas necesidades que todas las personas tienen: Amar y ser amado.
Me siento bastante feliz de tener familiares y amigos que me apoyan, me quieren, eso me da fuerzas para no tener miedo. Pero el mundo no está compuesto solo por esas personas y te das cuenta que afuera hay mucha gente mala, que odia, que no entiende y en muchos casos agrede y mata. Podría mencionar eso como un reto, no debería serlo, pero esa es la situación. En más de una ocasión me han hecho sentir mucho miedo y odiar el hecho de ser gay, he tenido experiencias desagradables de homofobia y otros tipos de discriminación. Cuando he estado con chicos me ha costado expresar mi amor hacia ellos con libertad en las calles, debido al maldito miedo de ser agredido.
Pero no todo es oscuridad. Por otro lado, ha sido genial conocer muchos chicos gays, lesbianas, transexuales a través de los años. Cuando ingresé a la universidad todo cambió, conocí mucha gente, todos diversos en todos los aspectos. Eso abrió mi mente y la de ellos, era una retroalimentación. Fue así que junto a amigos impulsamos un grupo LGTB en la universidad donde estudiábamos, nos volvimos más activistas o al menos es lo que intentamos. Ahora el grupo sigue en pie y ha crecido increíblemente. Yo ya no milito, me he metido de lleno a la fotografía y proyectos personales, quizás pueda sonar egoísta pero a veces a las justas tengo tiempo para lo que estoy haciendo. Pero me hace feliz saber que muchas cosas han cambiado en la universidad desde entonces y en la sociedad en general. Siento que ahora se toca más los temas LGTB, siento que hay más visibilidad pero de hecho hay mucho aún por hacer.
(The gay community in Lima is) Pequeña, con mucho ímpetu pero que puede resultar compleja. Hay muchas ganas por parte de muchas personas y movimientos de generar cambios. Y últimamente más por parte de jóvenes, chicos que se emocionan y se convencen como todos de que tenemos que ser generadores de cambios. Pero somos una sociedad bastante diversa, llena de diferencias que a la larga crea más diferencias entre toda esta gente y los grupos terminan disolviéndose, algunos chicos prefieren alejarse y luchar de una forma más silenciosa, lo cual puede ser criticado por otros y ello genera más fastidio y al final puede terminar siendo un gran lío.
Es algo que yo particularmente he observado. También a veces hay lucha de protagonismo e intereses personales y siento que esos pequeños detalles pueden terminar desviando la lucha por la que todos nos unimos, que es el de generar una mejor sociedad, sin discriminación y con igualdad de derechos para todos.
Creo que he salido del clóset más de una vez porque al inicio trataba de ocultarlo, temía, trataba de aparentar. Pero ahora que de alguna forma vivo con más libertad, ya no siento necesidad de hacerlo. Si me conoces, lo intuyes o conversando lo llegas a saber. Antes me daba terror llegar a la pregunta: “¿Y tienes novia?”. Ahora simplemente puedo hablar con ligereza de que me gustan los chicos y listo. No siento la necesidad de preparar a las personas o prepararme para anunciarlo.
Pero hubo un tiempo en que ello era distinto. En todo caso, la salida de clóset que considero importante fue la de casa.
El primero en saberlo fue mi primo mayor que es como mi hermano, lo supo abruptamente porque me vio con un chico. Se enojó, no me habló un tiempo pero luego de procesarlo, se calmó y me ofreció todo su apoyo. Creció conmigo y asumo que al igual que mis padres esperaba que yo fuera heterosexual.
Mi madre lloró mucho, se sentía confundida pero luego de semanas se calmó y las cosas para hoy han mejorado increíblemente, somos mucho más cercanos e incluso en la medida que puede me apoya en la lucha. La quiero demasiado y ella a mí, es una gran madre y mejor amiga.
Mi hermana menor simplemente me dijo “¿Tanto nerviosismo para eso? Ya lo sabía, todo bien, vamos a compartir más gustos ahora”. Me sorprendió, fue quien lo tomó de mejor manera.
Mi padre quizás es el que no lo ha tomado tan bien, lloraba mucho, se sentía culpable. Nunca reaccionó tan mal, me ofreció su apoyo, nunca lo ha dejado de hacer pero trata de no tocar el tema de mi homosexualidad. Y me apena porque ese aspecto es importante también en mi vida. Quisiera y espero que algún día él pueda verme con un chico y ser feliz como en ese momento lo podría ser yo.
El resto de familiares y amigos lo han llegado a saber por mis publicaciones en Facebook, diálogos cuando hay reuniones familiares, entre otras mil formas. Ya no me causa miedo, preocupación o frustración.
No están solos, solo deben observar mejor. Aprendan constantemente, equivóquense, vivan, luchen. No tengan miedo. Sean libres. Es un consejo que también me lo doy a mi mismo siempre."
In English:
"(Being gay means) being in favor of diversity and freedom to be who you want to be without needing to fit or meet certain standards. It's not just the physical attraction one feels for another man, but rather covers the same needs that all people have: to love and be loved.
I feel quite happy to have family and friends who support me, love me, and that gives me strength to be fearless. But the world is not made up of only those people and you realize that many bad people out there have hate, and do not understand and many are often assaulted and killed. I could mention that as a challenge, it should not be, but that's the situation. On more than one occasion I have felt much fear and hate for being gay, I have had unpleasant experiences of homophobia and other discrimination. When I've been with guys I don't express my love for them freely in the streets, because of the fear of being attacked.
But not all is dark. On the other hand, it has been great to meet a lot of gay guys, lesbians, transsexuals through the years. When I entered college, everything changed, I met many people, all different in all aspects. That opened my mind and theirs. With friends we created a LGBT group at the university where we studied, and we became more activists or at least we tried. Now the group is still standing and has grown incredibly. I have fully embraced photography and personal projects, it could sound selfish but sometimes I have just the time for what I'm doing. But it makes me happy to know that many things have changed since then in college and in society in general. I feel like I played more LGBT issues, I feel that there is more visibility but in fact there is much still to do.
The gay community in Lima is small, but with much momentum and can be complex. There really is a desire by many people and movements to create change. And lately more young guys get excited and convinced that there has to be changes. But we are a very diverse society, full of differences that ultimately create more differences between these people and groups end up dissolving, some guys prefer to go away and fight in a quieter way, which can be criticized by others and this creates more nuisance and in the end it may end up being a big mess.
I've also noticed something else. Sometimes there is a struggle for leadership and personal interests and I feel that those little details can end up diverting from the reason that we come together, which is to create a better society, without discrimination and with equal rights for all.
I think I came out of the closet more than once since in the beginning I tried to hide it . But now that some live more freely, I feel no need to do so. If you know me, you get the sense by talking and you get to know. Before I was terrified to get to the question, "Do you have a girlfriend?". Now I can just speak lightly of the guys I like and go. I do not feel the need to prepare people or ready myself to announce it.
But there was a time when it was different. In any case, the coming out that I consider important was at home.
The first to know was my older cousin who is like my brother, he knew abruptly because he saw me with a guy. He was angry, he did not tell me a while to process it but then calmed down and offered his support. He grew up with me and I take that as my parents expected me to be heterosexual.
My mother cried a lot, felt confused, but calmed down after weeks and things have improved incredibly. Today, we are much closer and even to the extent that she can support me in the fight. I love her too much and she to me, is a great mother and best friend.
My younger sister just said "So much excitement for that? I knew, all right, we'll share more interests now. "I was surprised, she was the one who took it best.
My father is the one who perhaps has not taken it so well, he cried a lot, he felt guilty. He never reacted so badly, he offered his support, he has never failed to support me but tries not to touch the subject of my homosexuality. And I am sorry that this aspect is also important in my life. I wish and hope that one day he can see me with a guy and be happy as as I am.
Other relatives and friends have come to know through my Facebook posts, dialogues when family gatherings, among a thousand other ways. It no longer causes fear, worry or frustration.
(Advice I'd give my younger self) You are not alone, only observe better. Constantly learn, equivóquense, live, fight. Do not be afraid. They are free. It is advice that I would also give myself forever."
*********
"Fear Eats the Soul"
"It's True, Lovers Do Start To Look Alike..."
Amongst gay couples, it's often referred to as "A Boyfriend Twin"
"While you may be familiar with the old saying, “opposites attract,” in reality, what the heart wants is someone who resembles its owner and that resemblance increases the longer two lovebirds stay together.
University of Michigan psychologist Robert Zajonc conducted an experiment to test this phenomenon. He analyzed photographs of couples taken when they were newlyweds and photographs of the same couples taken 25 years later.
The results showed that the couples had grown to look more like each other over time. And, the happier that the couple said they were, the more likely they were to have increased in their physical similarity."
Read more about this interesting phenomenon here...
"Fear Eats the Soul"
"This Made Me Smile..."
Channing Tatum in hilariously homoerotic scenes from
the Coen Brothers' upcoming film, "Hail, Caesar!"
"Selfie Love..."
"Selfie Love" - those beautiful, grainy, out-of-focus self-pics that capture the truth of true love...
"A Little Sane Advice..."
Steve Grand shares his thoughts and advice
on being true to yourself...
Published on Feb 2, 2016
As I make way for this next chapter of my journey (which includes new music and other stuff :D) I want to get something's off my chest. This being one of them.
This video is an effort to wade beyond the zero-depth-entry area that has been my public presence. Maybe we will get past our ankles with this one ;)
I was going to post this with a bunch of disclaimers, but forget it. I'll let it stand alone. Some people will get it, some people won't. Either way, I'll be okay :)
...Okay fine, but just one!: This video is not about Internet hate (if ONLY that were the extent of my life's struggle ;)). It's about learning that the real struggle is feeling okay enough with yourself that you don't fall apart every time someone has an unpleasant opinion of you. And in 2016, that's an especially important lesson for all of us!
And no. There is no other reason there is a shirtless picture of me in the thumbnail other than getting you to look up. I'll get called an attention-whore anyways. May as well actually use it to my advantage where it counts ;)
- Steve
Self-Acceptance and Self-Love are states of being we must ACTIVELY CHOOSE for ourselves. YOU deserve the final say over how you should feel about yourself.
(FULL TRANSCRIPT ON MY FACEBOOK PAGE: https://www.facebook.com/SteveGrandArtist)
*******
"Fear Eats the Soul"
Tuesday, February 2, 2016
"It's True, Lovers Do Start To Look Alike..."
Amongst gay couples, it's often referred to as "A Boyfriend Twin"
"While you may be familiar with the old saying, “opposites attract,” in reality, what the heart wants is someone who resembles its owner and that resemblance increases the longer two lovebirds stay together.
University of Michigan psychologist Robert Zajonc conducted an experiment to test this phenomenon. He analyzed photographs of couples taken when they were newlyweds and photographs of the same couples taken 25 years later.
The results showed that the couples had grown to look more like each other over time. And, the happier that the couple said they were, the more likely they were to have increased in their physical similarity."
Read more about this interesting phenomenon here...
"Fear Eats the Soul"
"Same Gender Loving People - No. 2257"
"Love Proudly Proclaims The Truth..."
Positive images of people like me... The truth of the matter is that we all need to see people like ourselves. So everyday, I'll post a photo, drawing or some other artwork that depicts Same Gender Loving People as what we are... Only Human.
"Selfie Love..."
"Selfie Love" - those beautiful, grainy, out-of-focus self-pics that capture the truth of true love...
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