"A True Love Story..."

Prelude: This is one of those stories that proves the old experiment of sharing a message in a circle by whispering it in someone's ear and having them pass it on by doing the same results in a different story.  By the time it gets back to you, it will have morphed from additions and deletions and assumptions into something perhaps unrecognizable. When I first came across this story reported elsewhere (both here and here), some small but nonetheless important details had changed which cast the story in a different light.  Maybe you read about this elsewhere, but here is the real story as told by the author here.

I’ve had very few chances in my busy life in 2017 to meet guys. Mostly it was a booty call. But I made room for one date.

He started sending me messages in August. He initiated conversations with a ‘Good Morning!’ or a ‘How are you?’ and it was charming how he kept up with this for a few months even if I would return his messages a few hours or a few days after. We all need something constant in our lives and for a time his messages were that to me. Something I expected when I opened my inbox that would make me smile and feel wanted.

My presence on Twitter was consistently inconsistent. One day I’m all talkative and then silent after a few days or weeks. I was consumed by work. I am just glad I have an audience that forgives my absence and picks-up conversations like I never left.

At the back of my mind, this guy is probably like the others and will probably end up as one horny hook-up. I generally do not treat Twitter as another Grindr, but I guess with the nature of the account that talks openly about sex and with the audience I have, it is unavoidable to get sex invites.

With him, we didn’t talk about sex. Well we didn’t talk much. He would always express his desire to meet me in between his usual ‘Take care!’ and ‘Rest well.’ So when he tweeted, ‘December na!’ I felt guilty for being non-committal for a long-time with such a nice guy.

So soon as my schedule permitted, I sent him a message asking about his availability and then quickly made arrangements to meet. I was telling myself that I think I deserve some romance back in my life. But I also wasn’t sure what his real intentions were. Typical me, I asked, ‘Is this wholesome or a hook-up?’ He said that he wanted to get to know me. Perfect answer right? So movie date it was.

I don’t ask for face pictures because I don’t share mine. He has wholesome photos of himself but his face is covered with stickers. From what little I saw, I can say that this guy is attractive. But you can never tell right? Ours was a version of a blind date.

So we met one fateful night in December. I remember feeling confident at that time since I dyed my hair a week ago. Temp bye-bye to white hair. I felt good about myself. I arrived early and waited. I didn’t mind because I was nervous. I needed time to calm my nerves. I haven’t done this in a long while. Count years. I waited at a stall that sold used books. My comfort zone.

My phone rang. Him. He is here.

I saw him. He was wearing this green shirt. He smiled. I smiled. Sparks were flying everywhere.

He is chinito, maputi, deep voice, taller than I and manly. Check. Check. Check. Check. Malaking check. Not that I have a specific type. I dated different guys in my lifetime. There’s a moreno, a chubby guy, a lanky one, effem, nerdy, etc. (Links in this paragraph were added by the editor of The Unbearable Truth...  for ease of reading and understanding what the original author is refering to.)

As we moved closer together, I can feel our smiles widening. When we were finally face to face each other, I don’t remember if he offered a handshake or we just walked side by side. But I remember how close our skin was to each other. I’m a touchy guy. It’s my love language. So it didn’t take long for us to hold hands. He got the message. And he reciprocated. I think at some point we even hugged. I can’t remember everything. I was intoxicated by his presence, his smell, his voice. All of it.

We decided on a movie. Both options were very wholesome. It took us a while to decide and we were both concerned about what the other really really really wanted to watch. Honestly, I didn’t care. I just wanted to be beside him. Soon as the movie selection was settled, we were off to dinner.

Have you ever been on a date with a gentleman? Someone who would ensure you were comfortable, who would get the utensils for you at a self-service counter, who splits the bill, who asked you if you needed anything. I got that. (Dear reader, stop stepping on my very long hair please! I need to continue this story. =D)

He sat beside me. Anyone who saw us would quickly conclude that THIS was a date. Probably a date between official lovers on a honeymoon. Our body language was too obvious. He even initiated to take a photo of both of us. There was a selfie. And that didn’t satisfy him. He asked for a waiter to take our photo. I was over the moon by then. These are signs! He likes me!

If you have ever felt like you were kissing too many frogs while hoping that maybe someday one of them will turn out to be a prince, you’d know what I mean when I say that I was at that moment pretty overwhelmed to meet a prince. My prince. I was almost speechless and wanted to savor every moment of it.

We talked about our background and that side of the Twitter-world where we both met. We also enjoyed some comfortable silence in between where our hands spoke for us. Soon as dinner was over, we had time to go around and check out the stores in the mall. I told him I need to buy a shirt for a wedding I’m attending the following week. He accompanied me and gave his two cents on my choices. Going smoothly so far.

When it was time for the movie, he asked me if I wanted anything to eat or drink. I was full but he still got this tub of popcorn and some drink, just in case.

At this point you could imagine that the movie, its contents or its merits, are not my primary concern. I really didn’t care what was on. It was all an excuse to be with him. If he was a so-so date, the movie would have saved the day still because it was a good one.

In between this wholesome movie, we were feeling each other. It was not groping. It was not below the belt. It was emotional, some physical, sensual. We kissed. Lightly. Lips brushing lips. Our cheeks slowly and slightly rubbing each other. His face breathing on my neck. It was HOT. But it was also sweet. It was coming from a space of deep longing. There was giving, sniffing and then some holding back. We aroused each other without going too far.

The sensual contact was a sign. This was going great for a first date. I was beyond happy.

Soon as the movie ended, we found our way through the dark maze of the mall on closing time. It was clear to me that we weren’t going straight to the motel. In my history, sex on the first date will not amount to anything after. Any chance at romance will be doomed. So behave.

He was tired. I needed to go back to work. He escorted me to the taxi bay. He opened the door for me and we bid our goodbyes. This time a little tamed. Knowing smiles. We were out on the street and were conscious about other people watching us.

This was how my one date in 2017 ended. It was perfect while it lasted. It was a reawakening of my body, of my soul, of my heart. It felt familiar and soon enough memories of ex dates came flooding. I am glad I allowed myself to take a chance. If only for the experience, it was a series of good moments that allowed me to feel human and much of a man again.

I’ll let that one night, with that one man, stay with me this way forever. Seemingly ordinary from the outside, but magical inside. At least for me.

*******

Postlude: Now you might be wondering why I posted this as "A True Love Story," after all, the author doesn't share with us what happened next... are they on their way to a happily ever after story or was this a flash in the pan that died out as quickly as it started?

My reasoning for calling this a true love story is that it opened the author's eyes to the possibility of something more than mere sex... to quote him, it was "a reawakening of my body, of my soul, of my heart. It felt familiar... it was a series of good moments that allowed me to feel human and much of a man again" and that is what has been lost in the age of hook-up apps and meaningless sexual encounters. Philippine society is still rooted in the beliefs of the Catholic church and so perhaps as a gay man he had not considered the possibilities for real love in a long time. Maybe that one date was enough to remind him that love is real and that there can be something more.  If that's not a love story, then I don't know what is.

"Fear Eats the Soul"