"The Truth About Who We Are..."

Marcus, Network Desk Operator, Bratislava, Slovakia

by thegaymenproject

photos by Kevin Truong

Marcus, in his own words: "For me being gay expresses mostly the sexuality and gender that you are attracted most to, and who you choose to love. It also means being yourself, to live life how you want without restrictions, to kiss your partner when you feel you want to, hold his hand, and to love passionately.

Well, there were many challenges (in my life) and I believe that all of them has its importance and moves you forward. When I was a teenager I was pretty curious about sexuality and sex itself, so I had met a few guys to have fun with. But the first one I had met, gave me something that others hadn't, so we had kind of a relationship. He was a person with some past, so he practically showed me the gay scene. I trusted him, and betrayal happened. It was some time that we were not in much contact. I had to do some checkups, and the doctor also needed to test my partner, so I informed him, but the doctor said he was not coming, therefore I gave her his name. The next information that was given to me was that this man was tested for HIV and his results were positive. The worst thing is that he knew and didn't tell me anything. It was a really hard part of my life for me and my family. Luckily the tests said I was healthy. I still get tested regularly and I also check and ask my partners about their health.

Now I can say that the success is that I'm healthy and alive (haha) J but it is true. Things at home weren't as good as I would like them to be at that time, so I was dreaming about living on my own live. The first time I left was when I was 17. I had graduated from high school, while I had a little business with jewelry with my boyfriend. That guy that I had met when I was 17 and I realized that I wanted him so much, that I decided I had to get him, so that was the success no. 2 :) We were together a lot of beautiful and hard times as well, that kind of relationship gives you the experiences you need. And today I live with my friends in Bratislava, and I have job that I love, perfect people around me, am living a vegan lifestyle, and investing my free time in activism for animals and the environment.

My coming out story is long, it is being done as I go. When it comes to the topic, when somebody asks me about my partner I just respond about him in the masculine gender and that's it, sometimes people get it just as we have the conversation. However it started with my mom, when I was watching, or more like staring at Marilyn Manson’s clip (I think it was this is the new shit) actually I was staring at him because of his extravagance, but she asked me if I was a bisexual so I just replied yes. She wasn't excited about it, but I didn't care ;) We just had it hard with each other.

The gay community in Bratislava is.. .hmm that's the hard question. It is colorful like a rainbow I would say. Mostly you find here a lot of hookups like everywhere I think. Then there are the best guys that you don't find because they already have boyfriends or they are just hidden, pretending to be straight. And then normal guys like me that are waiting for the right one, while working on myself.

To my younger myself I would give advice about being self-confident and to look at the things from a higher perspective. Every time. And mostly in hard times. Also to know that everything will always be okay, and if it is not, it is not the end. Everything happens for a reason and has its purpose. Always think with your head, don't let others think for you! Live like a party monster, don't dream it, be it!"