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What's Grindr?
It's only the most popular gay social networking app in the world, and it seems to be gaining lots of recognition outside of the gay community. A gay friend may have shown you a profile with a humorous biography, a ridiculous conversation he's had with another guy, or even some unflattering and unwanted pictures of the male anatomy.
Chances are that most gay men have the app on their phone or have used it at least a few times. How can he not? Its geo-location technology allows gay men to communicate with virtually anyone close to them. You can go out for dates, or just skip the date and play tonsil hockey before you get bored and do something you may or may not regret the next morning.
Once you've created a profile, you can view the Grindr cascade, filled with other profiles of men within a certain radius of you. It's like being eight-years-old all over again and walking into a toy store. But instead of playing with building sets or action figures (maybe Barbie dolls for some of you who are gender-neutral), you're playing with other people's body parts. There's just too much to choose from! Who are some of these guys, you may ask? Here's a list of the men you'll inevitably run into if you use Grindr.
1. The Jailbait Guys
Bio: "Love partying & shopping. Hmu ;)"
His profile says eighteen, but he's definitely sixteen – maybe even fifteen.
2. The Discreet Guys
Bio: "Hi."
He probably also has a girlfriend, wife, or kids at home, so he can't host.
3. The Millennials
Bio: "I like cats."
If they have a link to their Instagram profile, you'll get lost in the countless number of selfies they've taken.
4. The Horses
Bio: "Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey."
No, horse, is not another gay slang term used to describe a sub-type of gay men. These are just the men who will persistently message you "hey" no matter how many times you've ignored them.
5. The Blank Profiles
Bio: …
6. The Fifty-Plus-Year-Olds
Bio: "I'm looking for physical affection."
Lonely? Possibly. Confident that the majority of young, gay guys want to sleep with men old enough to be their fathers? One-hundred percent.
7. The Sugar Daddies
Bio: "Generou$ here."
They love pampering broke college students!
8. The Body Shamers
Bio: "Fit guys only."
Stock up on shaker bottles and whey protein. They're probably looking for a gym partner, who they can also fool around with in the saunas.
9. The Strict Guys
Bio: "White guys only" or "No Asians, Blacks, or Latinos."
It's not racist, it's just a preference. Okay, buddy.
10. The Elusive Ones
Bio: Something fairly generic, but gives good insight into what he's looking for and what kind of person he is.
He's a breath of fresh air, and he'll probably delete the app after meeting you and falling in love with your personality!
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