"The Unbearable Truth... Fear Eats The Soul": January 2025

What was your first clue your son might be gay...?

This was his favorite book.

I was thinking of my dad this morning... He said he never has a clue when I came out to him at 42. The truth is I think he just didn't want to know.

I was not an effeminate little boy, but I certainly exhibited many OGTs.* including hating sports and loving homemaking chores with my mother. In fact I'm certain he knew, but just didn't want to recognize or acknowledge it. When Title IX and gender equality arrived in schools, it resulted in me being assigned to home economics rather than shop in middle school. When my dad found out he blew a fuse. I remember him going to the school the next day and angrily shaking his finger in the principal's face telling him to put me in shop, which they did, but not until 2nd semester and after I'd completed my first sewing project, a burgundy vest with gold buttons that I wore long after I'd outgrown it.

But the funniest part of this story is that once I got to shop class, I immediately realized the shop teacher was gay. It was fully confirmed for me once we started our woodworking projects. The teacher would pranced through the shop room stopping to praise only the handsome boys for the fuc*'d up shite we were all making. I remember there was one mannish boy who was quite far along in his pubertal journey (I remember being quite shocked the first time I saw him in the showers, thinking "I sure hope that happens to mine!"). Well, the manish boy's praise was often accompanied by teacher's hand on his shoulder and once even a swat on his butt. I remember thinking, "WTF, if my father could see this, he'd have let me stay in home economics with all the girls!"

I am always remembering... and sometimes it's a lovely journey back in time

*OGT stands for Obviously Gay Trait