"The Poet's Corner..."

IF MY SON WERE GAY

Anon.

If my son were gay,

 

I’d slap him

 

With a nice high five.

 

Because coming out to your dad,

 

Takes balls that most men don’t have.

 

If my son were gay,

 

I’d beat the hell out of him.

 

Because he said he was better than me

 

At Super Smash.

 

(He basically was asking

 

For me to kick his ass.)

 

If my son were gay,

 

I’d kick him out of the house.

 

Because why waste June on video games,

 

When there are sports to be played?

 

And just because he likes making out with boys,

 

Doesn’t mean he can’t tackle the shit out of them, too.

 

If my son were gay,

 

I’d call him a douche.

 

But only because this morning,

 

He ate the last peanut butter cup in the house.

 

(The jerk knows they’re my favorite.)

 

If my son were gay,

 

I’d still give him the talk.

 

I just wouldn’t have to worry about a baby in nine months.

 

If my son were gay,

 

(And happened to don women's clothing)

 

I’d make fun of what he wears.

 

Because damn, son,

 

Those heels don’t go with that dress.

 

If my son were gay,

 

I’d tell him to be proud.

 

Because you’re human no matter the gender

 

On the other side of your mouth.

 

If my son were gay,

 

Nothing would be different at all.

 

Except that twenty years down the line,

 

I’ll be expecting a handsome son-in-law.

 

******

Isn't this a beautiful poem? Nay, it's a love letter from a father to a son, describing the way things ought to be... When I think about it, I realize that if I were a kid now, my father would probably have said just this. But more than 50 years ago, when I was actually coming to terms with the truth of my heart, I lived in constant fear of being found out. I was convinced that at best I would be disowned by my father, and at worst, I honestly feared he might kill me. When I came out to my father, he was 87, and nothing changed except that perhaps he loved me even more.

Although I thought it would take much longer to grow this old, I am glad to have lived long enough to see a day when a father could write this for a son.

"Fear Eats the Soul"