"The Truth Can Be Funny And Misunderstood..."

Good Eresh - The Love Doctor

Yesterday on Queerty, Graham Gremore lambasted a Nigerian "matchmaker" who had come out with a list of 15 behaviors that he said indicated to a woman that her man was gay. You can read it here. Accusing the author who calls himself a love doctor of being a homophobe just seemed a bit much. I have to say that I think that our "community" is too quick to call observations coming from those who are not gay, homophobia.

I didn't find any of it particularly hateful or even harmful... I thought his list made perfect sense (especially from his perspective) and it reminded me of what I've often called OGTs ("obviously gay traits"), a term I learned from the 2003 Indonesian film "Arisan!" OGTs are real, and I think we can all agree that while exhibiting some them doesn't necessarily mean a man is gay, possessing a lot of them definately says that there's a pretty good chance that he is (whether he knows it himself or not).

Here is the Good Eresh's list from Queerty:

1. He constantly stares at guys than women.
2. He could be gay if he criticizes gay people too much.
3. He could be gay if he appears to be too damn faithful.
4. He could be swinging if you have no issues with him concerning other women.
5. For some reason #5 is missing from list. Don’t ask us. ¯\_(?)_/¯
6. He keeps more male friends on social media than women.
7. That brother could be holding blowing pipes, when he tries to avoid sex with you.
8. He could be seeing guys when he doesn’t disturb you to have sex with him and on the other hand you thanking God that you have met a man that isn’t after sex.
9. When he suggests you both invite a guy to bed so the both of them can satisfy you, sister run because he’s bringing his friend in to caption your brain thinking he is so understanding.
10. When he cares too much about how he looks like female friends you have. There is something about it when he starts to care about his physical appearance.
11. He wants to feel how you feel during penetration, he wants you to insert your finger down there.
12. I repeat this, if he doesn’t check other women out he is completely gay. Don’t argue, he is not being faithful to you he just doesn’t find the need to feel attracted to women. Instead he talks about men more.
13. If he praises a particular male friend of his than you the one that claims to hold his heart, trust me that guy could be his gay partner.
14. He is classically touchy with other men, he enjoys hugs, holding hands and even loves the male bathroom hehehehehehe.
15. He enjoys other’s sexuality, it’s an interesting topic for him, trust me nicca is gay.

And here is my entry for the missing No. 5:

He has an underwear fetish... I've never met a straight man with an underwear fetish, but the majority of gay men I know (including myself) all have one.

So what exactly do I mean by an underwear fetish... Well, every man likes comfortable underwear, and some men like to wear sexy looking underwear, but the man with an underwear fetish, goes well beyond that. The man with an underwear fetish may have several drawers filled with sexy underwear of all types and descriptions and if he has a favorite that he wears more often than others, it will be something uncommon, like silk or nylon tricot, a singlet or thong.  In fact, most of us are aware that there are dozens of companies devoted to supplying gay underwear fetishers.

My beliefs are only anecdotal and completely unscientific, but when I read the love doctor's list above, I had to smile because I think he got most of them right.


The truth is sometimes funny...

"Fear Eats the Soul"