"The Truth About Who We Are..."

Derek, Graphic Designer, Los Angeles

by thegaymenproject

photos by Kevin Truong

Derek, in his own words: "Being gay is only a part of yourself, you are made up of many beautiful things and are endlessly worth more than you think.

One major challenge I've had is reconciling my beliefs with my sexuality. I think everyone has contradicting aspects that make up who they are, it doesn't mean that you're messed up it just means that you're an individual. You can find success in identifying with not just one part of yourself but by taking each piece and making it your own.

I'd like to feel like I was apart of (the gay community in Los Angeles) but I've heard it can become very cliquey and incestuous.

You can't be friendly to someone at a bar without them thinking you want to get in their pants. Actually, you probably shouldn't try to make friends at bars, everyone's horny (unless...). You really just have to be confident, find your place and the people you want to surround yourself with, that's when it becomes easy.

I knew I was gay ever since I was a little navy cardigan wearing Catholic schoolboy. I didn't come out until my Junior year of high school, even though my parents had found a gay porn zine I had hidden when I was a Sophomore. My parents and family have become very accepting but at times their different views get the best of them, but that's family.

(Advice I'd give my younger self)

Age 13: Don't hide your porn in your jacket pockets, you have siblings who like to borrow your clothes. Oops.

Age 16: Don't worry about what other people think.

Age 18: Don't be afraid to date and make mistakes, you'll be fine."