"Happiness And Fear Cannot Exist Together... Live Fearlessly"
Tuesday, January 31, 2017
"The Truth About Who We Are..."
Dylan, Painter, Portland, Oregon
by thegaymenproject
photos by Kevin Truong
Dylan, in his own words: "I identify as gay, but for most of my life I didn't know what that meant. I think that's a newer term. I grew up just knowing that I liked boys and I always thought of girls as friends.
Everyone knew I hung out with the girls and I think girls thought of me as a girl. They would say, "no boys can play with us," and the other boys would be mad, because I was allowed to, and the girls would say, "only Dylan. Only Dylan can play with us."
Then as I got older another boy would ask to kiss me, or would ask what it was like to kiss another boy, so I would show them.
It was just easy being gay. That's the way it always was. It wasn't until I got older and had to explain it to older people, or tried to fit in with guys that thought I was strange that I became more closeted. I became closeted for a while, because I wanted more male friends, but I think the guys I was friends with knew and would probably have been open minded if I'd known why I was different or how to describe it.
I never really came out. I think everyone just knew how I was. I was with older boys from a very young age and it was just natural. One time, after my first real boyfriend and I had moved in together, my mom sat me down and asked me if I was gay. I said I didn't know. I guess. Something like that, and then they just started letting my boyfriend come to Christmas dinner and my family learned to love him too.
I don't really feel like there is a gay community in Portland. I think that that's why gay people like it here, because we can just be gay and nobody really thinks about it. I did go to a lesbian bar that happens once a month, and really there were only about 5 gay guys and no straight men there, and the lesbians kind of had us on the outskirts of the group, like "we're not going to put up with any of your gay shit. Tonight's our night." It really shocked me, because I've never had lesbian friends and I was surprised by the diversity of women that were there. It was about 200 women and most of them didn't fit any one stereotype. They dance different than gay guys was my biggest observation.
I think I would rather take advice from my younger self than give it. I was much more bold and excited about things when I was younger. I think I was very excited to be, to do, and to have. I'm kind of focused on my future self at the moment, because I don't want to get stuck in too much of a routine and I want to be able to afford a comfortable lifestyle. Maybe I would tell my younger self, "Good job! You're doing great! Keep going!"
"Selfie Love..."
"Selfie Love" - those beautiful, grainy, out-of-focus self-pics that capture the truth of true love...
"A Thought To Ponder..."
I'm a same-gender-loving man and when I see this I see "Love"
Why is it so hard for some who see this to see "Love" too?
"Same Gender Loving People - No. 2597"
"Life Is Amazing When You're Young And In Love..."
Positive images of people like me... The truth of the matter is that we all need to see people like ourselves. So everyday, I'll post a photo, drawing or some other artwork that depicts Same Gender Loving People as what we are... Only Human.
"I Am Always Remembering..."
This is the song I hear in my head as my husband and children sleep on...
I am always remembering...
Monday, January 30, 2017
"Same Gender Loving People - No. 2596"
"After Decades, No Longer Partners - Husbands..."
Positive images of people like me... The truth of the matter is that we all need to see people like ourselves. So everyday, I'll post a photo, drawing or some other artwork that depicts Same Gender Loving People as what we are... Only Human.
"A Little Sane Advice..."
b-gay.com
It starts the day you meet and, if you’re lucky, shouldn’t end until one of you is put six feet under. For most of us, our relationship with our partner is the most important one in our lives. Here is a list of tips on how you can keep your relationship strong, no matter how long you have been together.
1. Tell him you love him. Every day! Do not think that it is implied by the things you do for him or the things you do together. Take the effort to say the words until it becomes second nature. Those are magical words and it is weird how important it is to actually hear them.
2. Show him that you appreciate him by letting him know when you are proud of him and make extra care not to belittle his achievements. Remember, his achievements are also yours as long as you are a couple.
3. Take care of yourself. Spend time every day on your appearance and your physical well being. It’s important both to your confidence and for making sure that he stays attracted to you.
4. Ask your partner what the most difficult part of being in a relationship with you is. The answer may not necessarily be what you think and the first step of change is to actually know what needs changing. And even if you don’t want to change, it is always good to know.
5. Make time for at least one romantic evening per week. Take turns planning the evening so you always can surprise each other. Just close out the world and make time for each other.
6. Take time to listen to his worries and problems, even if you think it’s boring, and even though you may think they are unimportant. They are important to him and that is what’s important for your relationship.
7. Count to ten when you’re angry to avoid saying something that you’ll regret. It’s better to bite your lip bloody than it is to have said something that will follow you years to come. Honesty is of course generally a good thing but even that can be used in the wrong way.
8. Let him know when something is bothering you and never go to bed angry. It’s a cliché for a reason. Unresolved issues are deadly to any relationship and have ripped apart more couples than you can count.
9. Arrange a romantic getaway for just the two of you every once in a while. It doesn’t have to be a total extravaganza, even though that doesn’t hurt either, the most important is that you get to spend time together in another setting than your everyday life.
10. Keep your sex life hot. Personally write him an erotic story and read it out loud to him. Go to a raunchy web site and re-enact the first scene you see there together. There are a thousand possibilities to spice things up a little.
So, as you can see, a gay relationship is not that different from any other love relationship when it comes to these matters. No surprise there. The main difference is that we don’t have quite the same cultural references as straight people do. We kind of have to make our own rules. For better and for worse.
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