"A Little Sane Advice..."

10 Tips For Planning Same-Sex Weddings

smartgroom.com

#1. Don’t worry about what’s ‘conventional’

This is your wedding day. Don’t spend your time trying to create an exact replica of a heterosexual wedding and trying to fit a guy into the bride’s place. If one of you wants a ‘bridal’ experience or something more feminine than a traditional groom’s experience, then go for it. Wear white, find something old and something new, and throw a bouquet. Like we said, it’s your day. But if both of you wants a stylish groom experience, then reinvent what it means to throw a wedding and embrace everything that makes you happy.

Heterosexual couples have been forsaking old traditions in recent times, so why shouldn’t you?

#2. Scrap traditional wedding parties

Yes, you’re both grooms, but that doesn’t mean you need to have the alter covered in men. Include your best friends in your wedding party, regardless of gender – just make sure they have a color in common, so you know who’s in which party. For example, the groomsmen in one part can have ties/cravats/boutonnieres matching the color of the groomswomen’s dresses in the same group.

#3. Consider the walk down the aisle

Traditionally the groom waits at the alter while the bride walks down the aisle, but you have the freedom to be creative. The solution is simple if one of you wants to stand at the alter while the other is walked there, but if you’re stuck for ideas, here are a couple of options:

• Both of you is walked separately down the aisle by a parent or someone special in your life (flip a coin to see who goes first).
• You can walk individually down the aisle behind your wedding parties.
• Walk together down the aisle.
• If there are multiple aisles wherever you’ve chosen to get married, you can both walk down an individual one and meet in the middle.
• Dancing flash mob of you, your husband-to-be, your wedding parties and family members.

#4. Don’t neglect the stag parties

These days, stag parties aren’t the traditional beer-swilling, cigar-smoking, stripper-leering events they once were. Most grooms and their best men are getting more creative, treating the day/weekend/holiday as a big bonding session for the groom and his closest mates. The same applies to you. Keep the tradition of separate events, otherwise it’s just another engagement party, and allow yourselves to be spoiled by your individual wedding parties.

#5. Your wedding attire

We’re going to say this upfront – no matter how cute you think it is in your head, do not wear matching suits or tuxes. This is a big day for both of you and you should both stand out, while looking your best. If you like the idea of being traditional, one of you can wear a black tux while the other dons a white version, a la James Bond.

It is a tricky area, because you’ll both have groomsmen and each wedding party should have a different look (if possible). You’ll also want you and your husband-to-be to have different formal wear. That’s four different looks and unfortunately, the scope of wedding formal wear is a little limited.

The overall look should be cohesive, so make sure each groom’s party matches its members, while complimenting its groom. The best thing to do is decide what each groom wants to wear and style the grooms’ parties from there. And don’t be afraid to ask the professionals for advice.

#6. Be prepared

Speaking of professionals, it’s an unfortunate reality that you may come across vendors who won’t be comfortable working for a same-sex couple. It’s not right, but you should be prepared for the possibility of rudeness, especially if you’re opting for a very rural wedding. Just try to barrel through it and don’t let it spoil your big day. Some people just can’t be helped…

#7. Consider other cultures

If you’re having your wedding at a beautiful holiday destination or planning your honeymoon, be sure to look up local customs first. This is a romantic time and you should feel comfortable expressing your love in public or even on the grounds of your hotel. Choose a place that’s open-minded and accepting of your amazing relationship, so you don’t have to hide how happy you are.

#8. Consider a planner

Often seen as a luxury, if you’re struggling to be creative with your wedding, a planner could be just the thing for you. You probably don’t have several other same-sex weddings to pull inspiration from and may be trying to construct your own big day from those of your heterosexual friends and family, which can be a little messy. Find a planner with experience in same-sex weddings or even one with a tonne of ideas, and use them. They’ll also know vendors and venues that will welcome you, so you can save yourself an uncomfortable encounter that may take the shine off this amazing event for you.

#9. The rings

Not a big issue, but don’t feel you have to match. Brides and grooms often have complimentary bands that differ in size or design, so feel free to be creative with yours.

#10. Who pays?

It’s not really commonplace for the bride’s family to take on the bulk of wedding expenses anymore, but it can still raise some questions among you and your fiancé. Parents often want to contribute something to the wedding, so come up with a list of items within their budget they can take and offer them up front once you know they want to help out.