"A True Love Story..."

Kareem Murphy and Rev. Dewayne Davis

We are college sweethearts who met at Howard University in the early 1990s. Howard's campus was in the midst of a period when students wrestled with how to define blackness as we approached the dawn of a new century, setting up a confrontation between "Cosby Kids" with advantages they took for granted and urban youth who had greater access to higher education. No matter how we defined blackness, all sides agreed that there were certain norms of gender and sexuality that were inviolate.

As soon as we found each other and fell in love, we were on the wrong side of what was expected of us. While we thought our relationship flew under the radar, the sexuality police around campus thought differently. We could not hide so powerful a connection and commitment and were soon ostracized for being more than just friends. Kareem was even attacked, his assailant yelling, "faggot" as he lunged at Kareem's neck. These were hard lessons for 20-year-old students to learn, especially when all you wanted were good grades and a great boyfriend. It was harder, given how broadly defined and highly valued "family" was on a black college campus. It hurts when one side of a family turns its back on another, betraying professed core values.

And yet we committed to love, honor, and cherish each other for as long as we live. While we were young, excited, and hopeful, we were also alone, no support from family and no protection from the law or the government. All we had to hold us together was our word. We exchanged rings and called each other husband, but we were reminded everyday by stores, banks, neighbors, and insurers that we were not really married.

Through considerable time and expense, we secured legal documents that, in the hands of the right judge or administrator, could be seen as a clear indication of our intention to share our lives and fortunes with the other like couples who were legally married. Without marriage equality, we remained vulnerable to the whims, biases, and oversight of a legal system, businesses, and community that did not see us as equal under the law.

We persevered, lacking the supports and validation that other young couples had. While we could not get legally married as we had hoped after graduation, we struck out to build our own family. Our union invited even more love and support from other couples. The family we built over 23 years is so much thicker than blood. It extends from South Florida to the Canadian border, from the nation's capital to California. You see, it turns out that the sexuality police we encountered in the 90s ultimately lacked the authority they claimed.

We built an authentic black family, as strong and nurturing as any other this country has ever produced.

Kareem Murphy and Rev. Dewayne Davis jump the broom at their wedding

DeWayne Davis and Kareem Murphy (who will celebrate 25 years together in August 2016) live in Minneapolis, Minnesota, where DeWayne serves as Senior Pastor of All God's Children Metropolitan Community Church and Kareem is a lobbyist for Hennepin County Human Services and Public Health.  Read more of their story here: NBC News.com