"The Truth About Who We Are..."

A Note from Sergi, Student, Barcelona, Spain… by thegaymenproject

photos provided by Sergi

Sergi, in his own words: "I am a student living in Barcelona (Catalonia). And I would like to first introduce myself a little. I was born in Ukraine in 1997, but came to Spain three years later, to be adopted by my actual parents. I have no contact with my biological parents, because I don’t know them. My childhood could say was happy, maybe not so much on the inside, which worsened at the age of 12, when I was discovering who I was. I finally accepted myself though, it took me a few years. I came out of the closet at the age of 13, but I came out of the closet before I actually knew that I liked boys. Hahah I did the reverse. All went well until my mother began to see when I got older that I related to other guys, but now we don’t have any problems. My sexuality was never a problem at school that others would get involved with me, on the contrary to some people I was someone to follow, because they saw that I was still myself even though people insulted me.

Now that I have presented myself, I would say that Barcelona is a city where being homosexual is not a problem. It is a city where I feel very free with my sexuality and where most people accept it, that's because Barcelona is a very touristy town.

Love. Love. I never felt in love, well, I felt love but it wasn’t reciprocated. As they say in Moulin Rouge "The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return." I still have not learned. It is a very sensitive and important issue for me, to love and be loved. That must have origins in childhood, I spent the first three years of my life without feeling that somebody loved me, because I was in an orphanage. All my life, from the 15, I began to obsess on finding love and now, after four years, I have not found it. They always tell me that love does not seek, it is. I am a very impatient person and also think love is the solution to everything. I look like a romance writer, but I want to find happiness. I think that love is the solution to everything that is a problem, but every time I see clearer. I have to say that I have had opportunities to fall in love, to have a couple, but I became afraid. Strange not? I want to love and when I see that I can have it I will. I think I want to find love but I'm not ready. When I was younger, I thought falling in love with someone or having someone fall in love with you was a quick thing. But it is not so, and I have learned that later. I have a sad memory, from the past. I met someone who later would break my fantasies of love and make me believe that I was just a sexual object, but now I’m a new kind of guy. I am a person and I deserve respect.

Finally I would say that being gay to me does not change my nature, I have always believed that my sexual orientation is not what defines me. An example: "Hi, I'm gay and my name is Sergi" this phrase is not something I want, I prefer, "Hello, my name is Sergi and I am a person. Finally, I would like to tell you something else about me. In the future I would like to be a filmmaker. Also related to the cinema, next year, I will enter film school and I hope to find myself while I do what I really love."

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"Fear Eats the Soul"