"A Little Sane Advice

Why You Need to Become the Man of Your Own Dreams
You’ll never be able to date anyone else if you can’t date yourself first.

GayGuys.com
Jerry Plaza
December 3, 2015

Our dreams seem to be on an invisible axis, tilting to and fro until they land in a place closest to our hearts. Sometimes we force it; other times we’re afraid it’ll land somewhere dark so we’ll try and spin forever.

No one is truly “ready” to love—what does it mean anyway? Too many times I hear gay guys talk about holding out for the man of their dreams: a prince in shining armor who sweeps us off our feet.

But here’s the thing most of us fail to see. The man we dream of, the image we’ve had in our heads of the perfect man, perfect partner, perfect friend, perfect lover (all of it) is actually YOU.

That’s why we’re so comfortable with our dream men: because it contains real qualities we hold in ourselves. The dream guy is who we really are in our best moments. He’s the man we want to be with, the person we want to spend the rest of our lives with—so why do we find it easy to run away when we he becomes real?

My mother used to say you’ll never be able to date anyone else if you can’t date yourself first. Sometimes we spend too much time fantasizing about love that we forget to love ourselves.

The man of your dreams is real and he’s more than just a guy to date and have sex with. He’s the reflection of how we feel inside; so if you truly want to meet your dream guy, you need to become him first.

It’s easier than you think. We’re always going to attract someone similar to our lifestyles, moral values and interests. Too many of us change ourselves in order to attract the kind of man we want, but when you do this you’re not welcoming authenticity in your life. You’re actually creating holes.

Loving yourself is always a priority, but being yourself is something you need to intuitively find—and the best way to do that is by looking at your “dream man.” He’s the real you.

When we become the man of our dreams we undoubtedly welcome opportunities for the other man of our dreams to see us. The best parts of our personality will be highlighted and exposed, leaving a path for the world to see us at our best light.

It’s time to stop trying to be something you’re not.

You want to meet the man of your dreams? Be him first. The man you’ve always wanted to date will find you when you’re aligned in your true selves. That’s the secret to finding your soul mate.