by thegaymenproject |
photos by Kevin Truong
photo by Kevin Truong
Alejandro, in his own words: "Ser Gay no es una decisión, es simplemente una configuración humana que ha sido consuetudinariamente considerada "diferente" y en función de ello objeto de discriminación en diferentes niveles. Esto ha conducido a que el hecho de ser gay pase por un proceso de negación, de no querer ser diferente, porque la sociedad rechaza todo aquello que va en contra de los patrones sociales establecidos por siglos. Los principios de la humanidad están centrados en el respeto al "Ser Humano", la Revolución Francesa defendía los principios de Libertad, Igualdad y Fraternidad, valores y condiciones que hoy en día son difusas, efímeras y moldeables y manejables, lo cierto es que no son negociables, porque los derechos no son negociables.
Para mí en particular ser Gay significa en primer lugar libertad, mi libertad personal de decidir a quién amar, a vivir mi propia vida respetando las diferencias y siendo responsable de las consecuencias de mis acciones. Esa libertad en sentido positivo, de poder ver y ser consciente que mi libertad termina donde comienza la del otro. Ser Gay para mi es poder ser yo mismo, respetar mis propios valores, porque realmente uno por ser Gay no cambia, no deja de ser hijo, hermano, familia, amigo; no se trata de un trastorno de personalidad, ni es una enfermedad que se pueda curar, se trata de una identidad sexual, no tiene matices.
Por otro lado ser Gay para mí también significa ser tolerante, y luchar por ideales humanos, porque esa igualdad sea realmente una realidad, que la convivencia y la fraternidad sean la orden del día, que no vivamos de la incertidumbre, la discriminación y la intolerancia. Ser Gay para mí significa coraje, significa amor, significa ser feliz.
Mi principal desafío fue enfrentarme a mí mismo, lograr la fuerza y aceptarme. A partir de allí comenzaría un proceso en el cual comenzaría al ser “diferente” en la sociedad, sin embargo no me costó tanto. “Salir del Closet” marcó un antes y un después, tuve la fortuna del apoyo familiar, y es simple se trata de ser felices, es el punto y ese ha sido uno de mis grandes sucesos.
Creo que ser Gay nos pone muchas cosas en perspectivas, vivimos en una sociedad que ha estado acostumbrada por siglos a un estilo de vida conservador en la medida en que promueve una serie de patrones y normas sociales, y fuera de eso genera rechazo. Mi mayor desafío ha sido luchar a diario con los esquemas y con las formas, resulta muy sencillo pensar que se tiene todo cuando tienes al lado a la persona que amas, sin embargo las desigualdades permean esas relaciones y las hacen inestables, las fragilizan. Ese ha sido uno de los principales desafíos tratar de vivir una “vida normal” en un mundo “anormal”, formal una familia bajo los conceptos tradicionales, construir un patrimonio sobre la base de la desigualdad ante la ley. Son luchas constantes, diarias, salir a la calle con la incertidumbre de que no hay garantías conjuntas, es un desafío enorme sentir que no hay garantías.
Creo que no debemos sentirnos minoría, creo que debemos cada día trabajar por sentirnos iguales, por sentirnos incluidos, en esa medida estaremos cerrando la brecha de ignorancia que existe con relación al tema de la homosexualidad, creo que en esta medida no debemos abogar por la tolerancia, debemos apelar por el respeto.
Soy el segundo varón de tres hermanos, de una forma u otra siempre he estado consciente de mí orientación, incluso de niño sentía que habían cosas diferentes. Sin ánimos de reforzar algunos estereotipos, nunca me gustó hacer deportes y me gustaban actividades de carácter más cultural. Siempre he sido muy independiente en lo que se refiere a las decisiones de mi vida, incluyendo lo sentimental. Creo que siempre lo supe, pero muchas veces me lo negué.
Mi adolescencia transcurrió “normal”, tuve de hecho algunas novias de las que incluso me enamoré. Entrada ya la etapa universitaria, comencé a entrar en contacto directo con gays, siendo yo “de closet” y negándome a mí mismo mi preferencia. Acercamientos que se convirtieron en historias, pero lo más importante de estos “experimentos” es que comencé a cuestionarme si efectivamente estaba siendo yo mismo, y cómo eso afectaba todos los aspectos de mi vida. Comencé a sentirme perseguido y presionado familiar y socialmente, confundido y muchas veces contrariado.
Como todo proceso lleva su tiempo, ya conocía en pequeña medida “el mundo gay”, y se sentía bien ser parte de algo, pero aún no estaba listo, y seguía en las sombras de la clandestinidad, escondiéndome como si lo que estuviese haciendo fuese reprochable. Tenía miedo al rechazo, tenía miedo a que me etiquetaran.
A los 23 años (hoy en día tengo 27 años), y sin mucho razonamiento ya que el tiempo había sido suficiente, decidí “salir del closet”, estaba construyendo una vida que me negaba a llevar en secreto, quería respirar eso que llaman libertad, y estar finalmente bien conmigo mismo que es por donde comienza todo. Tuve apoyo familiar y de algunos de mis amigos, con sus excepciones, pero en general el balance fue muy positivo.
Haberlo hecho, sin arrepentimientos, me ha ayudado de manera significativa a valorar lo que tengo, incrementando además mi confianza y me enseñó a creer en mí mismo. De eso se tratar de ser la mejor versión de uno mismo.
Las siglas LGTBI refieren un espacio diverso, todos forman parte de “la comunidad” con sus caracteres y matices propios, donde cada grupo aporta su autenticidad. En función de ello se han generado percepciones colectivas y estereotipos, que no involucran al grueso de la población homosexual.
Soy venezolano, pero actualmente vivo en Santiago, Chile, y hasta ahora ha sido una experiencia muy buena en muchos sentidos. La comunidad gay en Venezuela está marcada por el machismo, y por ende la discriminación es extremadamente marcada, incrustada incluso en el imaginario colectivo en un proceso de feminización impuesta, y eso ha generado muchos estereotipos asociados a la población homosexual. Esa feminización impuesta se repite en mayor o menor medida en diferentes sociedades, y refiere la atribución de cualidades femeninas al género masculino de orientación sexual diferente.
Este elemento ha marcado a “la comunidad” gay a lo largo del tiempo, y es un tabú que seguimos reproduciendo. Es un asunto de ignorancia, de inseguridad y de falta de tolerancia, en la medida en que las sociedades avanzan en estos temas, se vuelven cada vez más libres y más iguales.
La diferencia entre ambas es notable, acá en Santiago se ha logrado una coherencia, una reivindicación desde la visión de los derechos y de la igualdad. Considero que es una sociedad, que a pesar de su carácter conservar, se encuentra en vías de poder garantizar una igualdad sostenida, al menos en lo que se refiere al tema de los derechos extensivos a personas de diversa orientación sexual. En términos cotidianos es una sociedad más tolerante, más respetuosa y cada vez más tendiente al respeto de la libertad personal.
En Venezuela aún nos queda camino por recorrer, instituciones arcaicas por derrumbar y empresas por construir. Es una lucha constante.
Quizás el mejor consejo que podría darle a una versión más joven de mí mismo es que está bien sentir miedo, la incertidumbre no es agradable, siempre se gana aún en la derrota.
Todos somos un pequeño universo en el mundo, y la vida es una sola así que vale la pena vivirla y disfrutarla.
En mi blog, escribo algunas ideas sobre diferentes temas que se me ocurren, les dejo el linkAlejorpm.wordpress.com
Carpe Diem!"
In English:
"Being gay is not a choice, it is simply one that has been customarily considered "different" and accordingly discriminated against in human settings of different levels. This has led to the fact of those being gay having to go through a process of denial, not wanting to be different, because society rejects anything that goes against the social patterns established for centuries. The principles of humanity are centered on respect for every "human being", the French Revolution was defending the principles of liberty, equality and fraternity, values and conditions today that are vague, ephemeral, malleable and manageable, the fact is that they are not negotiable, because rights are not negotiable.
For me in particular being gay means first freedom, my personal freedom to decide whom to love, to live my own life respecting differences and being responsible for the consequences of my actions. That freedom is in a positive sense, to see and be aware that my freedom ends where the other begins. Being Gay is for me to be myself, to respect my own values, because really one does not change for being gay, does not become no longer a son, brother, family, friend; it is not a personality disorder, nor is it a disease that can be cured, it is a sexual identity, no nuances.
Furthermore for me it also means being tolerant, and to fight for human ideals, because equality is actually a reality that coexistence and fraternity are the order of the day, we do not live in uncertainty, discrimination and intolerance . Being Gay and courage means to me, means love, means being happy.
My main challenge was to face myself, achieve the strength and accept it. Since then began a process in which I would begin to be seen "different" in society, however it did not cost me much. "Coming Out" marked a before and after, I had the fortune of family support, and it is just about being happy, it is the point and that was one of my biggest events.
I think that being Gay puts many things in perspective, we live in a society that has been used for centuries to a conservative lifestyle to the extent that promotes a series of patterns and social norms, and beyond that generates rejection. My biggest challenge has been struggling daily with diagrams and forms, it is easy to think that you have everything when you're next to the person you love, however inequalities permeate these relationships and make them unstable, and weakened. That has been one of the main challenges trying to live a "normal life" in an "abnormal" world, formally one family under traditional concepts, building wealth on the basis of inequality before the law. These are constant, daily struggles, to go out with the uncertainty that no joint guarantees, is a huge challenge to feel that there are no guarantees.
I think we should not feel like a minority, I think we daily work to feel the same, to feel included, to the extent that we will be closing the gap of ignorance that exists regarding the issue of homosexuality, I believe that this measure should not advocate tolerance, we must appeal for respect.
I am the second son of three brothers, one way or another I have always been aware of my orientation, even as a child I felt I had different things. No offense to reinforce some stereotypes, but I never liked playing sports and I liked more cultural activities. I've always been very independent in regard to decisions of my life, including the sentimental. I think I always knew, but often I would deny it.
My adolescence was spent "normally", I actually had some girlfriends and even fell in love. Entry at the university stage, I began to come into direct contact with gays, being in the "closet" and denying myself and my preference. I began to experiment, but the most important of these "experiments" is that I started to wonder if I was actually being myself, and how that affected all aspects of my life. I began to feel persecuted and family and socially depressed, confused and often thwarted.
As a process takes time, and I knew to a small extent "the gay world", and it felt good to be part of something, but I was not ready, and remained in the shadows of the underground, hiding as if what I was doing was reprehensible. I was afraid of rejection, fear had me labeled.
At 23 (now I have 27 years), and without much reasoning as time was enough, I decided on "coming out", I was building a life that I refused to take secretly and wanted to breathe this thing called freedom and finally be good about myself which is where it all starts. I had the support of my family and some of my friends, with exceptions, but overall the balance was very positive.
Having it done, unapologetically, has helped me significantly to value and I have also increased my confidence and have learned to believe in myself. That is trying to be the best version of yourself.
The abbreviations of LGTBI refer to a different space, all part of the "community" with their characters and nuances, where each group brings its authenticity. Accordingly this has generated collective perceptions and stereotypes that do not involve the bulk of the homosexual population.
I'm Venezuelan, but currently live in Santiago, Chile, and so far it has been a very good experience in many ways. The gay community in Venezuela is marked by machismo, and thus discrimination is extremely strong, even embedded in the collective imagination in a process of feminization imposed, and this has generated many stereotypes associated with the homosexual population. This feminization imposed is repeated in varying degrees in different societies, and concerns the attribution of female to male qualities of different sexual orientation.
This item has marked gay "community" over time, and it is a taboo to continue playing. It is a matter of ignorance, insecurity and lack of tolerance, to the extent that societies progress on these issues are becoming freer and more equal.
The difference between the two is remarkable, here in Santiago has been achieved coherence, a claim from the perspective of rights and equality. I consider it a society that despite its conserve nature, is under way to ensure sustained equality, at least with respect to the subject of extensive rights to people of different sexual orientation. In everyday terms it is a more tolerant, more respectful and increasingly tending to respect personal freedom society.
In Venezuela we still have a ways to go, archaic institutions and companies are building collapse. It is a constant struggle.
For me in particular being gay means first freedom, my personal freedom to decide whom to love, to live my own life respecting differences and being responsible for the consequences of my actions. That freedom is in a positive sense, to see and be aware that my freedom ends where the other begins. Being Gay is for me to be myself, to respect my own values, because really one does not change for being gay, does not become no longer a son, brother, family, friend; it is not a personality disorder, nor is it a disease that can be cured, it is a sexual identity, no nuances.
Furthermore for me it also means being tolerant, and to fight for human ideals, because equality is actually a reality that coexistence and fraternity are the order of the day, we do not live in uncertainty, discrimination and intolerance . Being Gay and courage means to me, means love, means being happy.
My main challenge was to face myself, achieve the strength and accept it. Since then began a process in which I would begin to be seen "different" in society, however it did not cost me much. "Coming Out" marked a before and after, I had the fortune of family support, and it is just about being happy, it is the point and that was one of my biggest events.
I think that being Gay puts many things in perspective, we live in a society that has been used for centuries to a conservative lifestyle to the extent that promotes a series of patterns and social norms, and beyond that generates rejection. My biggest challenge has been struggling daily with diagrams and forms, it is easy to think that you have everything when you're next to the person you love, however inequalities permeate these relationships and make them unstable, and weakened. That has been one of the main challenges trying to live a "normal life" in an "abnormal" world, formally one family under traditional concepts, building wealth on the basis of inequality before the law. These are constant, daily struggles, to go out with the uncertainty that no joint guarantees, is a huge challenge to feel that there are no guarantees.
I think we should not feel like a minority, I think we daily work to feel the same, to feel included, to the extent that we will be closing the gap of ignorance that exists regarding the issue of homosexuality, I believe that this measure should not advocate tolerance, we must appeal for respect.
I am the second son of three brothers, one way or another I have always been aware of my orientation, even as a child I felt I had different things. No offense to reinforce some stereotypes, but I never liked playing sports and I liked more cultural activities. I've always been very independent in regard to decisions of my life, including the sentimental. I think I always knew, but often I would deny it.
My adolescence was spent "normally", I actually had some girlfriends and even fell in love. Entry at the university stage, I began to come into direct contact with gays, being in the "closet" and denying myself and my preference. I began to experiment, but the most important of these "experiments" is that I started to wonder if I was actually being myself, and how that affected all aspects of my life. I began to feel persecuted and family and socially depressed, confused and often thwarted.
As a process takes time, and I knew to a small extent "the gay world", and it felt good to be part of something, but I was not ready, and remained in the shadows of the underground, hiding as if what I was doing was reprehensible. I was afraid of rejection, fear had me labeled.
At 23 (now I have 27 years), and without much reasoning as time was enough, I decided on "coming out", I was building a life that I refused to take secretly and wanted to breathe this thing called freedom and finally be good about myself which is where it all starts. I had the support of my family and some of my friends, with exceptions, but overall the balance was very positive.
Having it done, unapologetically, has helped me significantly to value and I have also increased my confidence and have learned to believe in myself. That is trying to be the best version of yourself.
The abbreviations of LGTBI refer to a different space, all part of the "community" with their characters and nuances, where each group brings its authenticity. Accordingly this has generated collective perceptions and stereotypes that do not involve the bulk of the homosexual population.
I'm Venezuelan, but currently live in Santiago, Chile, and so far it has been a very good experience in many ways. The gay community in Venezuela is marked by machismo, and thus discrimination is extremely strong, even embedded in the collective imagination in a process of feminization imposed, and this has generated many stereotypes associated with the homosexual population. This feminization imposed is repeated in varying degrees in different societies, and concerns the attribution of female to male qualities of different sexual orientation.
This item has marked gay "community" over time, and it is a taboo to continue playing. It is a matter of ignorance, insecurity and lack of tolerance, to the extent that societies progress on these issues are becoming freer and more equal.
The difference between the two is remarkable, here in Santiago has been achieved coherence, a claim from the perspective of rights and equality. I consider it a society that despite its conserve nature, is under way to ensure sustained equality, at least with respect to the subject of extensive rights to people of different sexual orientation. In everyday terms it is a more tolerant, more respectful and increasingly tending to respect personal freedom society.
In Venezuela we still have a ways to go, archaic institutions and companies are building collapse. It is a constant struggle.
Perhaps the best advice I could give to a younger version of myself is that it's okay to feel fear, uncertainty is not pleasant, one can always win even in defeat.
We are all a little universe in the world, and life is one so worth living and enjoy it.
In my blog, I write some ideas on different issues that come to mind, I'll leave the linkAlejorpm.wordpress. com
We are all a little universe in the world, and life is one so worth living and enjoy it.
In my blog, I write some ideas on different issues that come to mind, I'll leave the linkAlejorpm.wordpress. com
Carpe Diem!"
*******
"Fear Eats the Soul"
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