February 12, 2015
Everyone wants the perfect boyfriend, but sadly they don’t exist without reciprocation. There are many ways we can strive to be the best man we can be, which is always going to strengthen the bonds we have with our man. Whether you think so or not, a boyfriend has certain responsibilities to uphold. Here are just a few:
#1) Be a man he’s proud to show off.
I always say be the type of guy you want to marry. No one wants to date a man with zero goals, zero social skills, and makes zero effort at bettering himself. Everyone has flaws, but it takes a strong man to know how to turn his flaws into strengths. If you cannot be proud of yourself, how can you expect your boyfriend to be?
#2) Challenge him without being aggressive.
Being in a relationship requires you to reveal sensitive sides of your personality. A great partner challenges you to broaden your horizons and perspectives, but never to the extent of being a bully or pushing buttons that shouldn’t be pressed. Allow him wiggle room to find new avenues and ideas without overly pursuing it. Give him opportunities to rise to a new level.
Too many of us make our man feel like he’s ours, but fail to remind him that we’re his. A man needs to feel secure within the confines of the partnership. When he senses his boyfriend is on a really loose leash, he might start feeling insecure. Reaffirm your devotion every single day.
#4) When another dude checks you out, grab your man and start kissing him.
I once dated a guy who was a million times hotter than me, and believe me, everyone checked him out. One night we were out in WeHo and super hottie would not stop staring at him from across the room (one of many). I started to get a little weird because it was so obvious, but you know what he did? He stared back at him, then, in a swift confident move, pulled me in and gave me the sexiest kiss you can imagine. Afterwards, he looked back at the guy, who at this point knew he was part of the joke, and kept his arm around me the rest of the night. I never felt so validated!
#5) Be unafraid of holding hands in public.
Gay couples are always paranoid when it comes to holding hands in public. It’s getting better (thank God) but there are still days when we get so anxious that we fail to see how it affects our partners. Having a lover refuse to hold our hand in public can be devastating and traumatic. It’s just not fair. Find moments where you literally give zero f**ks! Grab his hand proudly, kiss him boldly, and let him know that what society may or may not think matters very little to you.
#6) Have a secret code for “I Love You.”
As cheesy as it sounds, secret codes are always going to be one of those lovey dovey things that make you both laugh. I’ve seen countless of versions, but by far the best ones are always codes that are spontaneous and genuine at the time. Turn these inside jokes into something much more intimate.
#7) Make an effort to know him better.
Always be interested in learning more about him when you’re discussing new topics, people or hot button issues. When you truly know him, you’ll be able to know what he likes and doesn’t like, which is fabulous for when you’re buying Christmas gifts. Remember everything!
The sexiest man is going to be dull if he has nothing to offer your funny bone. A sense of humor is by far the greatest asset to have in life because you invite them inside your world. You and your man need to have a special bond through laughter. It’s tighter than anything else in the world, and it gives you numerous reasons to get through the toughest of situations.
#9) Be easy to please.
Don’t be such a hard ass all the time. You don’t have to make yourself emotionally available all the time, but at least make it easy for your man to feel like he’s making you happy. There’s no reason to be so judgmental over small things, so turn every effort into a positive experience.
#10) Be patient.
Patience is by far one of the most virtuous things any boyfriend can offer to his partner. Whether it’s related to something substantial or unimportant, let him feel like you’re with him every step of the way (even if it’s in baby steps). If you’re certain you’re going to be with this man for a long time, what, then, is the rush?
A real boyfriend listens to his man’s concerns because they affect him just as much. If one of you is unsatisfied, the whole relationship is going to be unbalanced, which is never good. Know when you’re pushing his buttons and, more importantly, know when to stop. Don’t be an asshole.
#12) Never be BORING.
By far, the one thing that kills any relationship is boredom. When there’s nothing else to learn, what’s the point of trying? The best way to surpass this is by never allowing an opportunity to be bored. Be open to learning, experiencing, and working on yourself and the relationship. Don’t get stuck in the same routine – be bold and take chances!
#13) Know what you want & ASK IT.
Too many guys are afraid to ask their boyfriend to change something because they feel like they’re being judgmental. Trust me, you’re not being judgmental. You’re being communicative, which is the healthiest thing a relationship needs. It’s important not to make passiveness a habit. The second you do, it grows into weakness and will eventually crumble/fracture the bond.
#14) Be a Master of SEX.
Be good at sex. I mean really, really good at it. Know what he likes and do it better than the last time. Enough said.
#15) Be protective rather than jealous.
There’s a difference between good jealousy and bad jealousy. Bad jealously is tied with insecurity, often targeting unimportant things like idiots at bars or random text messages from coworkers. Good jealousy isn’t jealousy at all, but protectiveness. They protect the relationship rather than their own security. Know the difference.
A man’s dog is the vessel to his heart (along with family and friends of course). If he has a dog, you better make that dog have just as much love. The rest will undoubtedly follow.
The passion you have at the beginning of the relationship (i.e. the impulses, the adrenaline, the need to touch each other) should never disappear. Where there is passion, there’s also room for discovery. The best way to keep it alive is to stay interested in each other. Ask questions, dig deeper, open up opportunities to find out new things.
#18) Plan activities together.
Never get too comfortable doing the same things over and over again. The mark of a great partnership is to see it stay strong no matter the location. Go for a hike, go camping, plan a European trip, go for a spontaneous drive. Change the atmosphere and maintain the love – it’s a secret for progress.
#19) Inspire him to be a better person by example.
If you don’t practice what you preach, then you’re a hypocrite. A great boyfriend inspires his man to reach for the stars and be the best he can be without being preachy or judgy. Show him it’s possible and he’ll rise up to meet you, and, as it’ll turn out, he’ll pull you up higher still.
People need to hear how sex they are from their boyfriends. It validates them both as a lover and as a human being. When we feel wanted, we feel important. It’s one of the reasons why relationships are so fabulous to begin with, and it’s a rule that should never be broken.
#21) Remember his favorites of everything.
Know his favorites of everything and you’ll eventually break into the secrets of his heart. These facts will let you become a better person to confide in and trust because you know his allergies, his pet peeves, his hot buttons, and the people he finds annoying. You can plan better, buy better gifts, have better conversations, and even have better sex.
#22) Give him no reason not to trust you.
If you can’t trust yourself, there’s a likely chance he won’t as well. Don’t give yourself a reason to suspect or feel weirded out, and you’ll be golden. If you freak out every time he grabs your phone, something will tell him there are things on there you don’t want him to see.
#23) Let him know how important he is to your life.
It’s more than about validating his being, but about acknowledging his role in your life. He has a little something extra to live for: YOU. That fact will always make him feel better because now he knows he’s worth more than he thought.
#24) Don’t be afraid to justify your point.
When you fail to articulate your point of view during an argument, it’s always going to lead to fight. A real fight. Don’t be afraid to justify your point. If you hold back, he’s only going to be confused and will ultimately opt out of discussing anything further. Stand your ground. You have just as much of a say to anything as he does. Work it out, and…
If you can’t talk it out, you’re clearly too stubborn to reason with anyway. You have to learn how to compromise if you want a successful relationship, otherwise you’re only dating a prop.
#26) Don’t tell him what to do.
He’s a grown ass man and didn’t ask to date a parent. Your job as a boyfriend isn’t to tell him what to do, but rather make the journey with him. If you don’t think he’s going to make right choices, you can always inspire him to do so. But never demand him.
#27) Stop losing your temper over petty bullshit.
There are more important things in the world. Do you really want to start a fight over small stuff? The more you do that, the less effective you will be when something really big happens. Choose your battles.
#28) Always do the right thing.
You know what the right thing is, so do it. When you do the right thing, it’s like feeding your spirit with joy and love, which welcomes him inside with open arms. Let him see you do right things and he’ll undoubtedly try to emulate them. Help others, don’t talk behind people’s back, defend your man publicly, and speak out for the underdog. Be a man of integrity.
#29) Know how lucky you are to have him.
Understand how luck you are to have him and he’ll totally return the favor. He’ll feel the love because it will show through your actions and behavior towards him. Be grateful for the relationship (even if it’s rocky) and you will see things much more clearly.
#30) Don’t be an Asshole.
Last but most definitely not least, never, ever become an asshole. Assholes never get ahead in life because their attitudes are selfish. A relationship requires collaboration. You cannot take yourself too seriously, otherwise there is no room for someone to investigate. Don’t be an idiot. Stop yelling at the waiter. Show your kind side, it’s the much brighter side anyway.
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