"A Sad And Uncomfortable Truth..."

I am Gay But Don't Fit in With the Gay Community: "Gay Pride is for White People”

David:

I read WGB daily and regret I probably don’t comment as much as I could.  I wanted to share my opinion on the topic “I Don’t Fit In.”  When people say they don’t fit in with the LGBT community, I suspect many people will respond to this in how they do not fit the stereotype of gay men, and so feel alienated by the gay community.  I have a different take on that.

Perhaps people have seen an article provocatively titled, “Gay Pride is for White People”. The more I give it thought, the more it starts to sound like the truth.  Nobody likes to be accused of being a racist- the word elicits negative images of Jim Crow era segregation or KKK “White Power.”  Of course, I’m not accusing anybody of that sort of militant racism.

We do have a very dismissive attitude however towards casual racism among gay people, however.  For example, we’re fond of saying that homophobia is the last acceptable prejudice, or that “Gay is the new black.”  If recent event in America are anything to go by, black is still very much black, and gay people have let me down with their silence on this issue.  It’s disappointing, given how the modern LGBT civil rights movement is traditionally recognized to have begun with riots protesting law enforcement’s excesses.  More than that, the gay culture (whether you believe it’s a legitimate culture or not) idolizes the strong, black female.  That is, until said strong, black female figure has the gall to call out gay men on their appropriation of the image (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/darnell-l-moore/black-female-survival-and-white-gay-culture_b_5605828.html).  Then, she’s just a bitch.

On a much more mundane level, we like to dismiss our “No Asians” attitude to personal preference.  And while people are certainly entitled to their preferences, it’s too common to be considered incidents isolated to only a few individuals.  They’re just words, but you’d think, as gay people, we’d be more cognizant of the effects words have, especially when they’re part of the everyday experience.  I am no longer bothered by it because I have come to accept that the words “No Asians” are simply to be expected from the gay male experience.  The words “No Asians” are part and partial to the gay experience- just think about that for a moment.

Several weeks ago, two leaders of the Ferguson, MO protests- two black women- were married amidst the protests (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/12/16/ferguson-protesters-married_n_6336184.html).  Their story, largely ignored, happened around the same time as popular gay news websites, such as Queerty, were covering the story of a white high school athlete for coming out during his homecoming dance.  And while said teenager is to be commended for coming out, certainly a story that has the potentially to start a dialogue about race, current national news, and the LGBT community’s conflicted relationship with the black community, deserves just as much attention?

I’m not accusing gay people of being any more racist than the general public.  I do feel, however, the onus is on us to be more progressive on issues of race than the general public.  That is, if we want to be truly committed to a value of diversity.  LGBT people are a minority that is not restricted to any one particular race or ethnicity.  There are gay whites, gay blacks, gay Muslims, gay Latinos, gay Asians, gay Native Americans.  We make up a small enough portion of the population as it is without alienating sections of the population further.

So I have come to agree that gay pride is for white people.  It is a narrative primarily written by white, gay men.  It predominantly idolizes white men.  And it does not care if non-white gay people don’t feel the same way.  Non-whites are less likely to attain the affluence required to move to the “gay meccas.”  Many come from predominantly, aggressively homophobic upbringings.  Non-whites are more likely to face hurdles to marriage, and therefore might be less enthused about marriage equality than we might be about, say, federal employment non-discrimination.  Who do we turn to when gay pride is “for white people” as oppose to being for everybody?

I’m an Asian American gay man and I feel I have little to nothing in common with what is broadcasted to me as the LGBT community.

Regards,

L.

*********

"Fear Eats the Soul"