"What's It All About...?"

This morning I was thinking about this blog... "What exactly is it?" And as I tried to answer that question for myself, I realized that its many things to me and now to some others who regularly visit. But perhaps its mostly a reflection of my personality... the things that I find important, and most especially it's about love.

It began as the story of my quest to love and be loved by a man who promised me that he'd make a lifetime of my secret dreams come true. Although that wasn't what happened, in a way, everything I post is still a message for that man who failed me so terribly that he stole my heart and more importantly a part of my soul that I've not been able to regain.

If you visited during the early days of this blog, then you know that I'm a pretty fair writer. Yet, that being said, of late I very rarely write anything myself besides some brief commentary in what I post here. But, I do think that those of you who visit me here gain some insights into me by what I do and don't say here, by the things that I do post, and by the types of things that I don't...

Nevertheless, I was thinking about my writing abilities this morning, and why I don't write more often. I remembered the only sexually explicit and graphically depicted story I've ever written. I stumbled across it and re-read it last week and at the time I thought, maybe I'll post it as a "Things Love Says" entry. While it's not entirely fictional, (it was written for someone I was in love with) I wrote it during those earliest days of my own acceptance that I am a "same gender loving" man. But because of that, it's a rather personal insight into what at least at the time were the romantic and sexual desires bottled up deep within me at the end of a lifetime of self-imposed celibacy and denial about the truth of my heart. Although it will stand out amongst the things that I've written, I will probably post it someday, and with it, another facet of the person that is me will be revealed.

"Fear Eats the Soul"