I often think deeply about "Love" and of late I've been recalling my thoughts about love in the time since I've accepted the truth of my own heart. A few years ago, a friend asked me:
"How can we tell real love from lust and how can we protect our hearts from being stepped on over and over and over...?"
At that time, and still, I think I know an answer to that question... I've tried (and learnt) to tell the difference in these ways:
Do I feel like I do because I want to do something to you (lust)? Or, because I want to do something for you (love)?
Who is more important to me... You (love)? Or, me (lust)?
When we're not together, do I do and say things with others that I wouldn’t do or say in front of you (lust)? Or, do I reserve my special words and deeds for you alone(love)?
If you didn’t hear from me again, would you look for me (love)? Or, would you say, “Oh well” and move on (lust)?
When I ask you what it is about me that you like or admire, is it mostly physical attributes (lust)? Or, is it “the content of my character” (love)?
Am I precious to you (love)? Or, am I just fun (lust)?
The hardest part of the question is that you already know in your own heart whether it’s lust or love that you yourself are feeling, but how do you find out the answer to these questions in the heart of the other person…?
As far as protecting yourself… I don’t think you can if its love you seek... Either you are open to finding out, or you refuse to love and lust is all you can ever know. Love is risky business.
"How can we tell real love from lust and how can we protect our hearts from being stepped on over and over and over...?"
At that time, and still, I think I know an answer to that question... I've tried (and learnt) to tell the difference in these ways:
Do I feel like I do because I want to do something to you (lust)? Or, because I want to do something for you (love)?
Who is more important to me... You (love)? Or, me (lust)?
When we're not together, do I do and say things with others that I wouldn’t do or say in front of you (lust)? Or, do I reserve my special words and deeds for you alone(love)?
If you didn’t hear from me again, would you look for me (love)? Or, would you say, “Oh well” and move on (lust)?
When I ask you what it is about me that you like or admire, is it mostly physical attributes (lust)? Or, is it “the content of my character” (love)?
Am I precious to you (love)? Or, am I just fun (lust)?
The hardest part of the question is that you already know in your own heart whether it’s lust or love that you yourself are feeling, but how do you find out the answer to these questions in the heart of the other person…?
As far as protecting yourself… I don’t think you can if its love you seek... Either you are open to finding out, or you refuse to love and lust is all you can ever know. Love is risky business.
*******
"Fear Eats the Soul"
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