Tuesday, March 31, 2009
"Same Gender Loving People - No. 25"
"We Have Fun With Each Other"
Positive images of people like me... The truth of the matter is that we all need to see people like ourselves. So everyday, I'll post a photo, drawing or some other artwork that depicts Same Gender Loving People as what we are... Only Human.
"A Truth Shared..."
An old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, "My son, the battle is between two "wolves" inside us all. One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority and ego. The other is Good. It is Joy, Peace, Love, Hope, Serenity, Humility, Kindness, Benevolence, Empathy, Generosity, Truth, Compassion and Faith.
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: "Which wolf wins?" The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."
“For Stephen Christopher Harris, because he shared this with me… Was he warning me about which one he'd chosen?”
"Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction"
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: "Which wolf wins?" The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."
“For Stephen Christopher Harris, because he shared this with me… Was he warning me about which one he'd chosen?”
"Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction"
- Blaise Pascal
Monday, March 30, 2009
"The Truth Today..."
"If you love all things, you will also attain the divine mystery that is in all things. For then your ability to perceive the truth will grow every day, and your mind will open itself to an all-embracing love"
-Fyodor Dostoyevsky
“Jesu, Joy of Man’s Desiring”Johann Sebastian Bach
“Jesu, joy of man’s desiring,
Holy wisdom, love most bright;
Drawn by Thee, our souls aspiring
Soar to uncreated light.
Word of God, our flesh that fashioned,
With the fire of life impassioned,
Striving still to truth unknown,
Soaring, dying round Thy throne.
Through the way where hope is guiding,
Hark, what peaceful music rings;
Where the flock, in Thee confiding,
Drink of joy from deathless springs.
Their's is beauty’s fairest pleasure;
Theirs is wisdom’s holiest treasure.
Thou dost ever lead Thine own
In the love of joys unknown.”
Jesu, Joy Of Man's Desiring (Featuring Lili Haydn Album Version)
For Stephen Christopher Harris
Sunday, March 29, 2009
"The Things That Love Says..."
"I would have lost heart, unless I had believed
that I would see the goodness of the Lord
in the land of the living.”
Psalms 27:13
“Heartaches of a Fool”
Willie Nelson
Started out with the dreams and the plans of a wise man
And ended up with the heartaches of a fool
As a boy, I would walk through the valley
And gaze at the world all around
Made a vow that somehow I would find fame and fortune
Well, I found it, look at me now
I had a sweetheart who would love me forever
I didn’t need her, I would reign all alone
Well look at me I’m a king of a cold lonely castle
The queen of my heart is gone
Gather ‘round me you fools for the dollar
Listen to me, listen you’ll learn
Wealth is happiness and love sent from heaven above
And the fires of ambition will burn
Started out with the dreams and the plans of a wise man
And ended up with the heartaches of a fool
that I would see the goodness of the Lord
in the land of the living.”
Psalms 27:13
“Heartaches of a Fool”
Willie Nelson
Started out with the dreams and the plans of a wise man
And ended up with the heartaches of a fool
As a boy, I would walk through the valley
And gaze at the world all around
Made a vow that somehow I would find fame and fortune
Well, I found it, look at me now
I had a sweetheart who would love me forever
I didn’t need her, I would reign all alone
Well look at me I’m a king of a cold lonely castle
The queen of my heart is gone
Gather ‘round me you fools for the dollar
Listen to me, listen you’ll learn
Wealth is happiness and love sent from heaven above
And the fires of ambition will burn
Started out with the dreams and the plans of a wise man
And ended up with the heartaches of a fool
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Friday, March 27, 2009
"The Truth Tonight..."
Believe Ye In Angels…?
“There shall no evil befall thee, neither shall any plague come nigh thy dwelling. For he shall give his angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all thy ways.”
Psalm 91:10-11 (King James Version)
"Same Gender Loving People - No. 21"
Thursday, March 26, 2009
"The Poet's Corner"
"The Day Without Gay..."
Last night, I thought about December 10th 2008, if only he wasn't so afraid...
“In the stars is written the death of every man”
Geoffrey Chaucer
I Wish I Knew How It Would Feel To Be Free
By Nina Simone
I wish I knew how
It would feel to be free
I wish I could break
All the chains holdin' me
I wish I could say all the things
That I should say
Say 'em loud
Say 'em clear
For the whole wide world to hear
I wish I could share
All the love that's in my heart
Remove all the bars
That keep us apart
I wish you could know
What it means to be me
Then you'd see
And agree
That every man should be free
I wish I could give
All I'm longin' to give
I wish I could live
Like I'm longin' to live
I wish I could do
All the things that I can do
Oh, I'm way overdue
I'd be startin' anew
Oh, I wish I could be
Like a bird in the sky
How sweet it would be
If I found I could fly
I'd soar to the sun
And look down at the sea
And I'd sing
Cuz I know
And I'd sing
Cuz I'd know
I'd sing
Cuz I'd know
I know how it feels
To be free, yeah
(I wish I knew) To be
(how it feels) I know
(I wish I knew)
How it feels
To be free...
"A life lived in fear is a life half-lived..."
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
"Same Gender Loving People - No. 20"
"The Truth Today..."
Charles Kelly and Stephen Christopher Harris
Stephen Christopher Harris and Christopher Flournoy
As I lay awake last night thinking of the 892 days that had passed, I thought about the last "Happy Sunday" in January. It wasn't really "happy," for just below the surface, I was suffering in great pain and anguish as the "Anniversary That Never Was" rapidly approached.
We'd been out to breakfast at I-Hop in Pineville that sunny winter day... We never could go to the I-Hop near the house, I often thought that it was because he'd frequented that one with someone else, or perhaps he was afraid his "friends" might see him there with me. Nevertheless, I was happy to be with him, because true love forgives every slight and heals every wound. After breakfast that Sunday, he actually indulged me in a rare shopping trip. I was looking for some cooking tools to make him a special dessert.
After visiting the mall and several other stores, we arrived at Crate and Barrel. He had gotten warm in the car and wanted to put his coat in the trunk. When I opened it, he saw the briefcase that had his photos in it there in the trunk. I'd actually forgotten putting it there earlier in the week... He didn't say anything right away, but on the way out of the store he finally asked, "Why do you have my pictures in your car." I told him I'd tell him later, and we went on about our way to the next store in search of what I needed. We finally found the right items at William Sonoma and we were off home.
Later that afternoon, as I was preparing dinner, I went out to the car and brought the photos in, putting the briefcase in the hall closet. I don't know if he noticed it there the next day or not. But last night, as I silently recalled that sunny day, I thought about what I had intended to tell him about why I had his photos. I remembered that my plan was to tell him why on the "Anniversary," but fate and "his demons" had other plans for us that day.
This is what I had planned to tell him:
"I was going to give them back to you,Dearest... I just wanted for you to miss them and see what it felt like to have your "memories," (or at least the tangible evidence of them) taken away... For then, you might somewhat understand my pain... the pain you so often said you could so clearly see on my face. For it was two years ago that you took away all my "dreams," and every precious desire of my heart."
As I was haunted in my sleepless ritual of remembering and as the sun rose on the 893rd day, I thought if only I could, I'd ask him, "What became of all your sacred promises, Dearest...?"
As for the "Anniversary That Never Was," I spent it in "solitary confinement" while he spent the day vainly attempting to obliterate the evidence of the promises he'd made. And that is "The Truth Today."
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
"The Truth Tonight..."
Tonight as I lie awake and wonder... I'm remembering the morning and afternoon of December 10th 2008 and the promises Stephen made both before and after...
“Acquainted With The Night”
By Robert Frost
I have been one acquainted with the night.
I have walked out in rain --and back in rain.
I have outwalked the furthest city light.
I have looked down the saddest city lane.
I have passed by the watchman on his beat
And dropped my eyes, unwilling to explain.
I have stood still and stopped the sound of feet
When far away an interrupted cry
Came over houses from another street,
But not to call me back or say good-bye;
And further still at an unearthly height
One luminary clock against the sky
Proclaimed the time was neither wrong nor right.
I have been one acquainted with the night.
By Robert Frost
I have been one acquainted with the night.
I have walked out in rain --and back in rain.
I have outwalked the furthest city light.
I have looked down the saddest city lane.
I have passed by the watchman on his beat
And dropped my eyes, unwilling to explain.
I have stood still and stopped the sound of feet
When far away an interrupted cry
Came over houses from another street,
But not to call me back or say good-bye;
And further still at an unearthly height
One luminary clock against the sky
Proclaimed the time was neither wrong nor right.
I have been one acquainted with the night.
"The Poet's Corner"
A Brave and Startling Truth
Maya Angelou
We, this people, on a small and lonely planet
Traveling through casual space
Past aloof stars, across the way of indifferent suns
To a destination where all signs tell us
It is possible and imperative that we learn
A brave and startling truth
And when we come to it
To the day of peacemaking
When we release our fingers
From fists of hostility
And allow the pure air to cool our palms
When we come to it
When the curtain falls on the minstrel show of hate
And faces sooted with scorn are scrubbed clean
When battlefields and coliseum
No longer rake our unique and particular sons and daughters
Up with the bruised and bloody grass
To lie in identical plots in foreign soil
When the rapacious storming of the churches
The screaming racket in the temples have ceased
When the pennants are waving gaily
When the banners of the world tremble
Stoutly in the good, clean breeze
When we come to it
When we let the rifles fall from our shoulders
And children dress their dolls in flags of truce
When land mines of death have been removed
And the aged can walk into evenings of peace
When religious ritual is not perfumed
By the incense of burning flesh
And childhood dreams are not kicked awake
By nightmares of abuse
When we come to it
Then we will confess that not the Pyramids
With their stones set in mysterious perfection
Nor the Gardens of Babylon
Hanging as eternal beauty
In our collective memory
Not the Grand Canyon
Kindled into delicious color
By Western sunsets
Nor the Danube, flowing its blue soul into Europe
Not the sacred peak of Mount Fuji
Stretching to the Rising Sun
Neither Father Amazon nor Mother Mississippi who, without favor,
Nurture all creatures in the depths and on the shores
These are not the only wonders of the world
When we come to it
We, this people, on this minuscule and kithless globe
Who reach daily for the bomb, the blade and the dagger
Yet who petition in the dark for tokens of peace
We, this people on this mote of matter
In whose mouths abide cankerous words
Which challenge our very existence
Yet out of those same mouths
Come songs of such exquisite sweetness
That the heart falters in its labor
And the body is quieted into awe
We, this people, on this small and drifting planet
Whose hands can strike with such abandon
That in a twinkling, life is sapped from the living
Yet those same hands can touch with such healing, irresistible tenderness
That the haughty neck is happy to bow
And the proud back is glad to bend
Out of such chaos, of such contradiction
We learn that we are neither devils nor divines
When we come to it
We, this people, on this wayward, floating body
Created on this earth, of this earth
Have the power to fashion for this earth
A climate where every man and every woman
Can live freely without sanctimonious piety
Without crippling fear
When we come to it
We must confess that we are the possible
We are the miraculous, the true wonder of this world
That is when, and only when
We come to it.
Maya Angelou
We, this people, on a small and lonely planet
Traveling through casual space
Past aloof stars, across the way of indifferent suns
To a destination where all signs tell us
It is possible and imperative that we learn
A brave and startling truth
And when we come to it
To the day of peacemaking
When we release our fingers
From fists of hostility
And allow the pure air to cool our palms
When we come to it
When the curtain falls on the minstrel show of hate
And faces sooted with scorn are scrubbed clean
When battlefields and coliseum
No longer rake our unique and particular sons and daughters
Up with the bruised and bloody grass
To lie in identical plots in foreign soil
When the rapacious storming of the churches
The screaming racket in the temples have ceased
When the pennants are waving gaily
When the banners of the world tremble
Stoutly in the good, clean breeze
When we come to it
When we let the rifles fall from our shoulders
And children dress their dolls in flags of truce
When land mines of death have been removed
And the aged can walk into evenings of peace
When religious ritual is not perfumed
By the incense of burning flesh
And childhood dreams are not kicked awake
By nightmares of abuse
When we come to it
Then we will confess that not the Pyramids
With their stones set in mysterious perfection
Nor the Gardens of Babylon
Hanging as eternal beauty
In our collective memory
Not the Grand Canyon
Kindled into delicious color
By Western sunsets
Nor the Danube, flowing its blue soul into Europe
Not the sacred peak of Mount Fuji
Stretching to the Rising Sun
Neither Father Amazon nor Mother Mississippi who, without favor,
Nurture all creatures in the depths and on the shores
These are not the only wonders of the world
When we come to it
We, this people, on this minuscule and kithless globe
Who reach daily for the bomb, the blade and the dagger
Yet who petition in the dark for tokens of peace
We, this people on this mote of matter
In whose mouths abide cankerous words
Which challenge our very existence
Yet out of those same mouths
Come songs of such exquisite sweetness
That the heart falters in its labor
And the body is quieted into awe
We, this people, on this small and drifting planet
Whose hands can strike with such abandon
That in a twinkling, life is sapped from the living
Yet those same hands can touch with such healing, irresistible tenderness
That the haughty neck is happy to bow
And the proud back is glad to bend
Out of such chaos, of such contradiction
We learn that we are neither devils nor divines
When we come to it
We, this people, on this wayward, floating body
Created on this earth, of this earth
Have the power to fashion for this earth
A climate where every man and every woman
Can live freely without sanctimonious piety
Without crippling fear
When we come to it
We must confess that we are the possible
We are the miraculous, the true wonder of this world
That is when, and only when
We come to it.
This poem was written and delivered in honor of the 50th anniversary of the United Nations.
© Maya Angelou, from A Brave And Startling Truth
Published by Random House
Monday, March 23, 2009
"Supporters of Same Gender Loving People"
03.23.2009 3:26pm EDT
Recent discussions of various civil-union proposals have revived some familiar questions, including “Why limit such recognition to couples, as opposed to larger groups?” and “Why limit it to romantic/sexual couples, as opposed to other interdependent relationships?”
Such questions come from various quarters, including both friends and foes of marriage equality. Although they’re sometimes offered as “gotcha” challenges, they deserve serious reflection.
I was mulling them over recently when two events occurred that hinted at an answer.
The first was a phone call from my home-security monitoring company about a false alarm I triggered with smoke from a minor kitchen disaster.
“While we have you on the phone,” the operator suggested, “can we update your emergency numbers?”
The first was a phone call from my home-security monitoring company about a false alarm I triggered with smoke from a minor kitchen disaster.
“While we have you on the phone,” the operator suggested, “can we update your emergency numbers?”
“Sure,” I said, remembering that some of my listed neighbors had eliminated their land lines.
After going through the numbers, she said, “So, you’ve given me your community patrol number, and numbers for Scott, Sarah, and Mike—all neighbors. But this Mark person—what’s your relationship to him?”
After going through the numbers, she said, “So, you’ve given me your community patrol number, and numbers for Scott, Sarah, and Mike—all neighbors. But this Mark person—what’s your relationship to him?”
“He’s my partner.”
“Um, roommate?”
“No,” I replied, “partner.”
“I don’t have a box for ‘partner,’” she retorted. “I have a box for ‘roommate.’”
“Fine,” I said, “roommate.” Then I hastily hung up and returned to the kitchen, since I didn’t want my “roommate” to come home to a burned dinner. (Later, I regretted not asking for, and insisting on, the box for “husband.”)
The second event occurred not long afterward, when my high school called asking for a donation for their “Torch Fund” endowment.
Some background: I attended Chaminade, an all-boys Catholic prep school on Long Island. For years I notified them of my various milestones for their newsletter, and for years they declined to publish anything gay-related—publications, awards, whatever—despite their regular listings of the most insipid details of my classmates’ lives.
So now, whenever they ask me for money, I politely tell them where they can stick their Torch. I did so again this time.
“I understand,” the caller replied. “But while I have you on the phone, let me update your records…”
Here we go again, I thought.
Eventually she came to, “Any update in your marital status? Can we list a spouse?”
“Well, you CAN,” I responded testily, “but I suspect you won’t. My spouse’s name is Mark.”
“Why not?” she replied, seeming unfazed. “And his last name?”
I doubt his listing will stand long. But what interested me was this: here was someone representing my conservative high school, and she had a box—in her mind, anyway—for my same-sex spouse.
For all I know, she might be a paid solicitor with no other connection to the school. But she illustrates a significant cultural shift toward recognizing the reality of gay and lesbian lives.
The reality is this: like our straight counterparts, we tend to fall in love, pair off and settle down. It’s not for everyone, but it’s a significant enough pattern to merit acknowledgement.
And that’s at least the germ of an answer to the questions raised above.
Why do we give special legal recognition to romantic pair-bonds? We do so because they’re a significant—and very common—human category, for straights and gays alike. They benefit individuals and society in palpable ways—ways that, on average, “roommates” and most other groupings can’t match.
And that’s at least the germ of an answer to the questions raised above.
Why do we give special legal recognition to romantic pair-bonds? We do so because they’re a significant—and very common—human category, for straights and gays alike. They benefit individuals and society in palpable ways—ways that, on average, “roommates” and most other groupings can’t match.
To put it simply, we recognize them because it makes sense for the law to recognize common and valuable ways that people organize their lives.
Of course, there are other significant human relationships. Some of these, like blood ties, the law already acknowledges. Others (like polygamy) pose serious social costs.
Still others may deserve more legal recognition than they currently receive, or may be dealt with on a case-by-case basis. (I doubt that we need to change marriage or civil-union law to accommodate unrelated cohabitating spinsters, for example.)
Still others may deserve more legal recognition than they currently receive, or may be dealt with on a case-by-case basis. (I doubt that we need to change marriage or civil-union law to accommodate unrelated cohabitating spinsters, for example.)
But none of these other unrecognized relationships holds a candle to same-sex pair-bonds when it comes to widespread mismatch between the social reality and the legal recognition.
Which brings me back to Mark. Mark is not just some dude I share expenses with. He’s the person I’ve committed my life to, for better or for worse, ’til death do us part. We exchanged such vows publicly, although the law still views us as strangers.
Which brings me back to Mark. Mark is not just some dude I share expenses with. He’s the person I’ve committed my life to, for better or for worse, ’til death do us part. We exchanged such vows publicly, although the law still views us as strangers.
In short, he is—whether the law or our home-security company recognizes it—my spouse.
We fall in love, we pair off, we build lives together. The law may be a blunt instrument, but it need not be so blunt as to call that “roommates.”
We fall in love, we pair off, we build lives together. The law may be a blunt instrument, but it need not be so blunt as to call that “roommates.”
*******************************
John Corvino, Ph.D. is an author, speaker, and philosophy professor at Wayne State University in Detroit. His column “The Gay Moralist” appears Fridays on 365gay.com.
For more about John Corvino, or to see clips from his “What’s Morally Wrong with Homosexuality?” DVD, visit http://www.johncorvino.com/.
For more about John Corvino, or to see clips from his “What’s Morally Wrong with Homosexuality?” DVD, visit http://www.johncorvino.com/.
"Same Gender Loving People - No. 18"
"The Poet's Corner"
"In Memoriam"
By George Santayana
With you a part of me hath passed away;
For in the peopled forest of my mind
A tree made leafless by this wintry wind
Shall never don again its green array.
Chapel and fireside, country road and bay,
Have something of their friendliness resigned;
Another, if I would, I could not find,
And I am grown much older in a day.
But yet I treasure in my memory
Your gift of charity, and young hearts ease,
And the dear honour of your amity;
For these once mine, my life is rich with these.
And I scarce know which part may greater be,--
What I keep of you, or you rob from me.
By George Santayana
With you a part of me hath passed away;
For in the peopled forest of my mind
A tree made leafless by this wintry wind
Shall never don again its green array.
Chapel and fireside, country road and bay,
Have something of their friendliness resigned;
Another, if I would, I could not find,
And I am grown much older in a day.
But yet I treasure in my memory
Your gift of charity, and young hearts ease,
And the dear honour of your amity;
For these once mine, my life is rich with these.
And I scarce know which part may greater be,--
What I keep of you, or you rob from me.
Sunday, March 22, 2009
"Same Gender Loving People - No. 17"
Saturday, March 21, 2009
"My Song for Tonight..."
Sukiyaki
Performed by Kyu Sakamoto
(Words by Rokusuke Ei, music by Hachidai Nakamura)Released in Japan as "Ue O Muite Aruko" (I Look Up When I Walk)
No. 1 - Billboard Top 100, 1963
Phonetic Japanese Lyrics
ue o muite arukou
namida ga kobore naiyouni
omoidasu harunohi
hitoribotchi no yoru
ue o muite arukou
nijinda hosi o kazoete
omoidasu natsunohi
hitoribotchi no yoru
shiawase wa kumo no ueni
shiawase wa sora no ueni
ue o muite arukou
namida ga kobore naiyouni
nakinagara aruku
hitoribotchi no yoru
whistling
omoidasu akinohi
hitoribotchi no yoru
kanashimi wa hosino kageni
kanashimi wa tsukino kageni
ue o muite arukou
namida ga kobore naiyouni
nakinagara aruku
hitoribotchi no yoru
whistling
Literal English Translation
I look up when I walk so the tears won't fall
Remembering those happy spring days
But tonight I'm all alone
I look up when I walk, counting the stars with tearful eyes
Remembering those happy summer days
But tonight I'm all alone
Happiness lies beyond the clouds
Happiness lies above the sky
I look up when I walk so the tears won't fall
Though my heart is filled with sorrow
For tonight I'm all alone
whistling
Remembering those happy autumn days
But tonight I'm all alone
Sadness hides in the shadow of the stars
Sadness lurks in the shadow of the moon
I look up when I walk so the tears won't fall
Though my heart is filled with sorrow
For tonight I'm all alone
whistling
Performed by Kyu Sakamoto
(Words by Rokusuke Ei, music by Hachidai Nakamura)Released in Japan as "Ue O Muite Aruko" (I Look Up When I Walk)
No. 1 - Billboard Top 100, 1963
Phonetic Japanese Lyrics
ue o muite arukou
namida ga kobore naiyouni
omoidasu harunohi
hitoribotchi no yoru
ue o muite arukou
nijinda hosi o kazoete
omoidasu natsunohi
hitoribotchi no yoru
shiawase wa kumo no ueni
shiawase wa sora no ueni
ue o muite arukou
namida ga kobore naiyouni
nakinagara aruku
hitoribotchi no yoru
whistling
omoidasu akinohi
hitoribotchi no yoru
kanashimi wa hosino kageni
kanashimi wa tsukino kageni
ue o muite arukou
namida ga kobore naiyouni
nakinagara aruku
hitoribotchi no yoru
whistling
Literal English Translation
I look up when I walk so the tears won't fall
Remembering those happy spring days
But tonight I'm all alone
I look up when I walk, counting the stars with tearful eyes
Remembering those happy summer days
But tonight I'm all alone
Happiness lies beyond the clouds
Happiness lies above the sky
I look up when I walk so the tears won't fall
Though my heart is filled with sorrow
For tonight I'm all alone
whistling
Remembering those happy autumn days
But tonight I'm all alone
Sadness hides in the shadow of the stars
Sadness lurks in the shadow of the moon
I look up when I walk so the tears won't fall
Though my heart is filled with sorrow
For tonight I'm all alone
whistling
"The Truth Today..."
Today was one of the hardest days of recent memory. As I write this, I'm sitting in bed recalling the events of the last 889 days. "Ali: Fear Eats the Soul" is in the DVD player and watching it is strangely painful... I guess it reminds me of he and I. I've said my prayers for the evening, but just now I wonder, what will be my prayers tomorrow?
"Same Gender Loving People - No. 16"
Friday, March 20, 2009
"Four Hundred Ninety Times..."
"Same Gender Loving People - No. 15"
Thursday, March 19, 2009
"Change Is A Good Thing..."
Gay marriage gets recognition - in the dictionary
By The Associated Press
03.19.2009 9:08am EDT
San Francisco, California
Same-sex marriage might not be recognized in most states, but it is in the dictionary.
Merriam-Webster included a secondary definition of marriage to recognize same-sex relationships several years before gay couples were allowed to tie the knot anywhere in the United States, but the change had gone largely unnoticed until the conservative World Net Daily news site reported it Tuesday.
“One of the nation’s most prominent dictionary companies has resolved the argument over whether the term ‘marriage’ should apply to same-sex duos or be reserved for the institution that has held families together for millennia: by simply writing a new definition,” World Net wrote in an online story published Tuesday.
In its Web and print editions, Merriam-Webster defines marriage as “the state of being united to a person of the opposite sex as husband or wife in a consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law.”
But in a nod to evolving ideas of love and English usage, the Springfield, Mass.-based company in 2003 added a secondary meaning for “marriage” as “the state of being united to a person of the same sex in a relationship like that of a traditional marriage.”
Merriam-Webster said in a statement Wednesday that the edited entry merely reflected the frequency with which the term “same-sex marriage” had popped up in print and become part of the general lexicon.
“Its inclusion was a simple matter of providing dictionary users with accurate information about all of the word’s current uses,” the company said, adding that it was surprised by the recent attention because it was “neither news nor unusual.”
“We were one of the last ones among the major dictionary publishers to do this,” said Merriam-Webster spokesman Arthur Bicknell.
Boston-based Houghton-Mifflin, publisher of the American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language, modified its definition of marriage in 2000, adding a fourth example to the entry: “A union between two persons having the customary but usually not the legal force of marriage: a same-sex marriage.”
The Oxford English Dictionary this month added in a draft version that the term sometimes refers to “long-term relationships between partners of the same sex.” Its editors also have proposed updating the primary sense of the word to mean “the condition of being a husband or wife; the relation between persons married to each other; matrimony.”
The dictionary’s main entry for marriage, last updated in 1989, reads, “The condition of being a husband or wife; the relation between married persons; spousehood, wedlock.”
Only two states in the country legally recognize gay marriage: Connecticut and Massachusetts.
Merriam-Webster included a secondary definition of marriage to recognize same-sex relationships several years before gay couples were allowed to tie the knot anywhere in the United States, but the change had gone largely unnoticed until the conservative World Net Daily news site reported it Tuesday.
“One of the nation’s most prominent dictionary companies has resolved the argument over whether the term ‘marriage’ should apply to same-sex duos or be reserved for the institution that has held families together for millennia: by simply writing a new definition,” World Net wrote in an online story published Tuesday.
In its Web and print editions, Merriam-Webster defines marriage as “the state of being united to a person of the opposite sex as husband or wife in a consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law.”
But in a nod to evolving ideas of love and English usage, the Springfield, Mass.-based company in 2003 added a secondary meaning for “marriage” as “the state of being united to a person of the same sex in a relationship like that of a traditional marriage.”
Merriam-Webster said in a statement Wednesday that the edited entry merely reflected the frequency with which the term “same-sex marriage” had popped up in print and become part of the general lexicon.
“Its inclusion was a simple matter of providing dictionary users with accurate information about all of the word’s current uses,” the company said, adding that it was surprised by the recent attention because it was “neither news nor unusual.”
“We were one of the last ones among the major dictionary publishers to do this,” said Merriam-Webster spokesman Arthur Bicknell.
Boston-based Houghton-Mifflin, publisher of the American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language, modified its definition of marriage in 2000, adding a fourth example to the entry: “A union between two persons having the customary but usually not the legal force of marriage: a same-sex marriage.”
The Oxford English Dictionary this month added in a draft version that the term sometimes refers to “long-term relationships between partners of the same sex.” Its editors also have proposed updating the primary sense of the word to mean “the condition of being a husband or wife; the relation between persons married to each other; matrimony.”
The dictionary’s main entry for marriage, last updated in 1989, reads, “The condition of being a husband or wife; the relation between married persons; spousehood, wedlock.”
Only two states in the country legally recognize gay marriage: Connecticut and Massachusetts.
"Coming Out - There's Something I Want to Tell You, Son"
Originally published on Yahoo 360, April 20, 2007
These last couple of years have been quite a journey for me. Along the way, I discovered the joyful freedom of truth as well as at long last, the exquisite pain of love. Almost a year ago now, I decided that having accepted the truth of myself after allowing half of my life to pass me by, I would not let the truth of my heart be a secret to those I love and care about. I came out to my father, my brothers, my sisters, the nieces and nephews, and most importantly, to myself. But there was still one important person that I had not allowed to know the truth of me, at least not as fully as the others; that person is my son.
How it is that I have a son is in and of itself quite a story to tell… Although there are some who don’t believe in God, and some who believe but don’t think he answers our prayers, I can tell you that I am not one of them. My son is a testimony that God lives and that He loves us, and indeed, that He hears and answers our prayers when they are meant for us. Many, many years ago, when I was yet a young boy, when I thought in silence and fear that I’d never know the joy of a mate, or of children and a family, God heard my prayer about this and He knew how much I wanted to be a father. In a way that I still find miraculous, He brought my son Marvin into my life. They say that God moves in mysterious ways, and it is indeed true…
I met my son when he was ten years old… it was two weeks before he and his brother, sister and mother were to be baptized. They would be joining the congregation of the branch of the church that I led as its president and priesthood leader. I remember quite well that in him I immediately saw something different… I actually felt something different, something deeper than just the spirit of fellowship. I knew instantly that in some way, though we’d never met before, we were connected to one another in a very real and unfathomable way. At his baptism, I remember being greatly moved when afterwards as I joined the elders in laying hands upon his head to confer the Gift of the Spirit, I felt that connection again and much more strongly. It was as if I felt God’s hand upon my shoulder as I laid my hand upon the head of the boy who would become my son as surely as if he had been the fruit of my own loins.
In the weeks and months that followed, Marvin became my little shadow at church. He reverenced me as a child does his father. He made me more than his spiritual leader; he sought my advice and counsel for his young life and indeed my love as the father-figure he’d never known. On Sundays, he’d often anticipate what I wanted to happen in the meetings… no sooner than I’d think of it, I’d look around and he’d be doing it or enlisting the aid of the other youth or even the adults to make it happen though I’d not spoken a word about it. Before long, he even began to look like me as he adopted my style of dress and my speech and mannerisms…
His mother told me of how much he admired me. How he spoke of me all the time at home. She said, “He does everything like you… he even walks and talks like you now.” And she expressed her appreciation of me taking the time to try to help her family. She invited me to her home and I went with my counselors to teach the lessons that husbands and fathers would normally teach their wives and children. Of the children and his mother, Marvin was the one who actually listened most intently and tried to live the precepts of the gospel that we were teaching them. Although he was just a boy, and younger than his brother, soon he was the man of his mother’s house. I was humbled that God had used me as an instrument for good in his life and that of his family.
In his young life, my son and his family had endured many terrible hardships. The influences of a broken home, crippling poverty, gang violence, drugs, and worse were all a part of his reality. But somehow, one day he decided as I did when I was a boy, to choose a different path. As he became an example for his own family, it seemed that the Adversary would not rest in trying to destroy him. At one point, his entire family was homeless and on the street. I took them all into my home until his mother could get back on her feet. Then tragedy struck again. His mother was diagnosed with cancer and faced a very poor prognosis. I watched and prayed as she prepared for the end of her life. She sought homes for her children and I was shocked when in the case of Marvin, she came to ask if I would take him and raise him up for her.
Although Marvin’s mother had arranged for several members of her extended family to take in her children, she told me that Marvin had come to her and asked if he could be my son when she died. She told me that she said to him, she felt that I should have been and that she would ask me. I’ve never forgotten that Sunday afternoon when his mother came to me. She explained that she had nothing to give to me except her eternal thanks. She said she had prayed about it and she believed I would be a good father to her son. I said yes, and Marvin came to live with me and I grew to love him as my own son.
In the beginning, it was not an easy thing to do, to love a child not your own, but as your own. Slings and arrows came from many including my own family who thought I was being foolish to take on such responsibilities. But my faith in God and that He had in His plan given me a heart able to do so was strong. I grew to love Marvin unconditionally and as my own, and he has loved me as his father ever since… Indeed, God had answered my prayer about wanting a family to love and to be loved by. Together, we overcame the influence of the Adversary and my son grew up to righteous manhood. Today, I am proud of him in so many ways. He is a man of great faith… He served an honorable mission for the church and serves faithfully in his church calling today. When he left home for college, I was happier than on the day I myself graduated from college, I had done what many including my own mother doubted could be done. I am very proud of my son and his accomplishments.
My son met and married his wife in college. They’ve been married about a year and half now. Attending his wedding as his father was one of the happiest days of my entire life. This January, he became a father in his own right when his daughter, McKenzie was born. I’ve just returned from visiting him and his wife and my granddaughter. The joy of holding my son’s baby in my arms was an amazing thing… In the midst of great sorrow in my life at the moment, I found I could believe that perhaps the world will endure… and perhaps me with it.
As I said, I’ve come out to my entire family with the exception of my beloved son. Although in truth, I’ve been trying to prepare him for the news for sometime… I’ve dropped little hints about it for some time now. I have been blessed to have met the man I know to be my soul mate. I have spoken of him to my son during our phone calls many times. I even told my son that I was for the first time in my life, truly in love. What I didn’t reveal was that the “love of my life” is a man as I am. In my conversations with my son about him, I would carefully chose neutered pronouns and avoid giving too many details about the greatest love of my life. After those phone calls I was often very sad, being worried that perhaps my son might reject me if he knew the whole truth. Nevertheless, I resolved to tell him the truth when we were together again, face to face and man to man.
I wanted to speak privately with him about it, but we were never alone during my visit until the last morning. He and his wife had taken time off from work to spend it with me during my visit. But on the morning I was leaving to return home, his wife went back to work and so as we sat recalling how lovely my visit had been and as I watched how wonderfully he cared for his little daughter, with a prayer in my heart, I summoned up my courage. I was surprised that I was still truly afraid to tell him, but my fear was not unfounded. My son is very obedient to the teachings of the church which is how I raised him. The church takes a very hard stance against homosexuality. In fact, despite my many years of good and faithful service in the priesthood and as a leader, I was cast out and excommunicated when I confessed the truth of my heart.
As I sat across from my son, watching him cuddle his baby girl, I finally said to him, “There’s something I want to tell you, Son.” After a very long pause, I finally said, “I’m afraid to tell you though… Do you have any idea what it might be…?” He looked at me as if he could see into my heart and said, “I don’t know, Pop, but I see it’s worrying you.” “Are you sick? Do you have diabetes or something?” I smiled a weak smile as I told him, “No, it’s nothing like that… it’s about my “significant other” that I’ve been telling you about.” “I’m not sure you’ll be able to accept what I need to tell you…” “Just tell me. Pop.” I said, “I guess a picture does speak a thousand words…” And with that, I handed him a picture of my love and I standing in front of the Liberty Bell in Philadelphia. To my surprise, all my son said was, “Is this him?” “Yes, that’s Stephen, the one I love.” “Okay Pop, as long as you’re happy.”
It was then time for me to go, the drive to the airport at Salt Lake City would take an hour or so and my plane was leaving in a little under two hours. As I stood to say goodbye, with tears nearly overflowing my eyes, my son handed me my little granddaughter… He placed his strong hand on my shoulder as I clutched his little one, saying, “Don’t worry, Pop, I love you and its okay with me.” I handed little McKenzie back to him as I hugged and kissed them both. I said, “Please pray for me, Son and know that I love you…” “Take good care of your wife and baby, you are more richly blessed than you will ever truly know… Goodbye Son, I’ll call you when I get home.”
On the drive down through the mountains to the Great Salt Lake basin, the beauty of the majestic peaks shrouded in the clouds and capped with snow reminded me that God is great. As I drove, I remembered all the sore trials and tribulations of a life I’d only half lived; of truths only half told. A few tears fell for some of the painful days I recalled. But then I sent up a silent little prayer of thanks that God had heard my prayers so long ago. As I boarded the plane and took my seat, I closed my eyes and I prayed again for the last and greatest gift I seek of my Father in Heaven… He knows the most precious desire of my heart… I don’t believe He will forsake me, He never has.
How it is that I have a son is in and of itself quite a story to tell… Although there are some who don’t believe in God, and some who believe but don’t think he answers our prayers, I can tell you that I am not one of them. My son is a testimony that God lives and that He loves us, and indeed, that He hears and answers our prayers when they are meant for us. Many, many years ago, when I was yet a young boy, when I thought in silence and fear that I’d never know the joy of a mate, or of children and a family, God heard my prayer about this and He knew how much I wanted to be a father. In a way that I still find miraculous, He brought my son Marvin into my life. They say that God moves in mysterious ways, and it is indeed true…
I met my son when he was ten years old… it was two weeks before he and his brother, sister and mother were to be baptized. They would be joining the congregation of the branch of the church that I led as its president and priesthood leader. I remember quite well that in him I immediately saw something different… I actually felt something different, something deeper than just the spirit of fellowship. I knew instantly that in some way, though we’d never met before, we were connected to one another in a very real and unfathomable way. At his baptism, I remember being greatly moved when afterwards as I joined the elders in laying hands upon his head to confer the Gift of the Spirit, I felt that connection again and much more strongly. It was as if I felt God’s hand upon my shoulder as I laid my hand upon the head of the boy who would become my son as surely as if he had been the fruit of my own loins.
In the weeks and months that followed, Marvin became my little shadow at church. He reverenced me as a child does his father. He made me more than his spiritual leader; he sought my advice and counsel for his young life and indeed my love as the father-figure he’d never known. On Sundays, he’d often anticipate what I wanted to happen in the meetings… no sooner than I’d think of it, I’d look around and he’d be doing it or enlisting the aid of the other youth or even the adults to make it happen though I’d not spoken a word about it. Before long, he even began to look like me as he adopted my style of dress and my speech and mannerisms…
His mother told me of how much he admired me. How he spoke of me all the time at home. She said, “He does everything like you… he even walks and talks like you now.” And she expressed her appreciation of me taking the time to try to help her family. She invited me to her home and I went with my counselors to teach the lessons that husbands and fathers would normally teach their wives and children. Of the children and his mother, Marvin was the one who actually listened most intently and tried to live the precepts of the gospel that we were teaching them. Although he was just a boy, and younger than his brother, soon he was the man of his mother’s house. I was humbled that God had used me as an instrument for good in his life and that of his family.
In his young life, my son and his family had endured many terrible hardships. The influences of a broken home, crippling poverty, gang violence, drugs, and worse were all a part of his reality. But somehow, one day he decided as I did when I was a boy, to choose a different path. As he became an example for his own family, it seemed that the Adversary would not rest in trying to destroy him. At one point, his entire family was homeless and on the street. I took them all into my home until his mother could get back on her feet. Then tragedy struck again. His mother was diagnosed with cancer and faced a very poor prognosis. I watched and prayed as she prepared for the end of her life. She sought homes for her children and I was shocked when in the case of Marvin, she came to ask if I would take him and raise him up for her.
Although Marvin’s mother had arranged for several members of her extended family to take in her children, she told me that Marvin had come to her and asked if he could be my son when she died. She told me that she said to him, she felt that I should have been and that she would ask me. I’ve never forgotten that Sunday afternoon when his mother came to me. She explained that she had nothing to give to me except her eternal thanks. She said she had prayed about it and she believed I would be a good father to her son. I said yes, and Marvin came to live with me and I grew to love him as my own son.
In the beginning, it was not an easy thing to do, to love a child not your own, but as your own. Slings and arrows came from many including my own family who thought I was being foolish to take on such responsibilities. But my faith in God and that He had in His plan given me a heart able to do so was strong. I grew to love Marvin unconditionally and as my own, and he has loved me as his father ever since… Indeed, God had answered my prayer about wanting a family to love and to be loved by. Together, we overcame the influence of the Adversary and my son grew up to righteous manhood. Today, I am proud of him in so many ways. He is a man of great faith… He served an honorable mission for the church and serves faithfully in his church calling today. When he left home for college, I was happier than on the day I myself graduated from college, I had done what many including my own mother doubted could be done. I am very proud of my son and his accomplishments.
My son met and married his wife in college. They’ve been married about a year and half now. Attending his wedding as his father was one of the happiest days of my entire life. This January, he became a father in his own right when his daughter, McKenzie was born. I’ve just returned from visiting him and his wife and my granddaughter. The joy of holding my son’s baby in my arms was an amazing thing… In the midst of great sorrow in my life at the moment, I found I could believe that perhaps the world will endure… and perhaps me with it.
As I said, I’ve come out to my entire family with the exception of my beloved son. Although in truth, I’ve been trying to prepare him for the news for sometime… I’ve dropped little hints about it for some time now. I have been blessed to have met the man I know to be my soul mate. I have spoken of him to my son during our phone calls many times. I even told my son that I was for the first time in my life, truly in love. What I didn’t reveal was that the “love of my life” is a man as I am. In my conversations with my son about him, I would carefully chose neutered pronouns and avoid giving too many details about the greatest love of my life. After those phone calls I was often very sad, being worried that perhaps my son might reject me if he knew the whole truth. Nevertheless, I resolved to tell him the truth when we were together again, face to face and man to man.
I wanted to speak privately with him about it, but we were never alone during my visit until the last morning. He and his wife had taken time off from work to spend it with me during my visit. But on the morning I was leaving to return home, his wife went back to work and so as we sat recalling how lovely my visit had been and as I watched how wonderfully he cared for his little daughter, with a prayer in my heart, I summoned up my courage. I was surprised that I was still truly afraid to tell him, but my fear was not unfounded. My son is very obedient to the teachings of the church which is how I raised him. The church takes a very hard stance against homosexuality. In fact, despite my many years of good and faithful service in the priesthood and as a leader, I was cast out and excommunicated when I confessed the truth of my heart.
As I sat across from my son, watching him cuddle his baby girl, I finally said to him, “There’s something I want to tell you, Son.” After a very long pause, I finally said, “I’m afraid to tell you though… Do you have any idea what it might be…?” He looked at me as if he could see into my heart and said, “I don’t know, Pop, but I see it’s worrying you.” “Are you sick? Do you have diabetes or something?” I smiled a weak smile as I told him, “No, it’s nothing like that… it’s about my “significant other” that I’ve been telling you about.” “I’m not sure you’ll be able to accept what I need to tell you…” “Just tell me. Pop.” I said, “I guess a picture does speak a thousand words…” And with that, I handed him a picture of my love and I standing in front of the Liberty Bell in Philadelphia. To my surprise, all my son said was, “Is this him?” “Yes, that’s Stephen, the one I love.” “Okay Pop, as long as you’re happy.”
It was then time for me to go, the drive to the airport at Salt Lake City would take an hour or so and my plane was leaving in a little under two hours. As I stood to say goodbye, with tears nearly overflowing my eyes, my son handed me my little granddaughter… He placed his strong hand on my shoulder as I clutched his little one, saying, “Don’t worry, Pop, I love you and its okay with me.” I handed little McKenzie back to him as I hugged and kissed them both. I said, “Please pray for me, Son and know that I love you…” “Take good care of your wife and baby, you are more richly blessed than you will ever truly know… Goodbye Son, I’ll call you when I get home.”
On the drive down through the mountains to the Great Salt Lake basin, the beauty of the majestic peaks shrouded in the clouds and capped with snow reminded me that God is great. As I drove, I remembered all the sore trials and tribulations of a life I’d only half lived; of truths only half told. A few tears fell for some of the painful days I recalled. But then I sent up a silent little prayer of thanks that God had heard my prayers so long ago. As I boarded the plane and took my seat, I closed my eyes and I prayed again for the last and greatest gift I seek of my Father in Heaven… He knows the most precious desire of my heart… I don’t believe He will forsake me, He never has.
"The Things That Love Says..."
This Is the Meaning of Love
By Emily Matthews
Someone who makes you feel
good about living,
Who brings out the you
who is joyful and giving –
This is the meaning of love.
Something that give you
a chance to be strong,
Or trust in another
to help you along –
This is the meaning of love.
Somewhere that you feel like
you’ve been forever –
A place where you’re growing
and learning together –
This is the meaning of love.
All that I am,
All that I see,
All that I dream and I do
are better and brighter
and filled with more meaning
because of my feelings for you.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
"Same Gender Loving People - No. 14"
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
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