Monday, February 7, 2011

"A Song For My Father..."

William Burnette Flournoy, Sr.
1917 - 2011


So We'll Go no More a Roving
George Gordon Lord Byron (1788-1824)


So we'll go no more a roving
So late into the night,
Though the heart be still as loving,
And the moon be still as bright.

For the sword outwears its sheath,
And the soul wears out the breast,
And the heart must pause to breathe,
And Love itself have rest.

Though the night was made for loving,
And the day returns too soon,
Yet we'll go no more a roving
By the light of the moon.





Sunday, February 6, 2011

"A Story to Share..."


Corvino: Help A Hero
By John Corvino, columnist, 365gay.com
02.04.2011

You may not know his name. You should.

Frank Kameny has sometimes been called the “Rosa Parks” of the gay movement. Like most analogies, this one is imperfect. Parks’ civil disobedience was backed by an organized movement; Kameny had to forge a movement. Parks is in the history books; Kameny—like LGBT history more generally—is still largely overlooked.

And while Parks retreated to a quieter life not long after her iconic bus ride, Kameny’s vocal leadership has spanned a half-century.

When Dr. Franklin Kameny was fired from his government job in 1957 for being gay, there was no national gay civil rights movement. It took pioneers like him to make it happen. Before pride parades, before Harvey Milk, before Stonewall, there was Frank.

I’ve known Frank for many years, mostly via e-mail. He’s been to my home for dinner (incidentally, he likes peach schnapps). Regrettably, I’ve never been to his, though it was designated a D.C. historic landmark in 2009 in recognition of its—and Frank’s—tremendous role in civil rights history.

The house and its indomitable owner need help. More on that in a moment.

First, a few highlights of his amazing life.


A Harvard-trained Ph.D. and World War II veteran, Frank was fired in 1957 from his job as an Army Map Service astronomer for being a homosexual. Unsure of his future employability and outraged by the injustice, he fought back, petitioning his case all the way to the U.S. Supreme Court in 1961. (They declined to hear it.)

That year he co-founded the Mattachine Society of Washington—a “homophile organization,” based on the original society in San Francisco. Soon thereafter, in 1963, he began a decades-long campaign to revoke D.C.’s sodomy law. He personally drafted the repeal bill that was passed 30 years later. Frank would likely correct me here: it was “30 years, one month, four days, and 11 hours.”

He has that sort of relentless eye for detail.

In 1965, he picketed in front of the White House for gay rights. Signs from that demonstration, stored in his attic for decades, are now in the Smithsonian’s collection.

In 1968, he coined the slogan “Gay is Good,” an achievement of which he is particularly proud—probably because it captures his moral vision so simply and powerfully.

In 1971, he became the first openly gay person to run for Congress (he lost). He was instrumental in the battle that led to the declassification of homosexuality as a mental disorder by the American Psychiatric Association in 1973. He has continued to fight over the years against employment discrimination, sodomy laws, the military ban—injustice in all forms. And he has served as a moral elder for generations of movement leaders.

The astronomer-turned-activist is now 85 and as spirited as ever. Thankfully, he has lived to see some of the fruits of his labor. In 2009, when President Obama signed a memorandum extending certain benefits to same-sex partners of federal employees, he handed his pen to Kameny.

That same year, the Federal Office of Personnel Management issued an apology to Kameny on behalf of the U.S. government. Without missing a beat, Kameny promptly sent a letter stating that he was expecting five decades of back pay. (He received no reply.)

Frank continues to send off pointed letters in pursuit of justice. He is fond of reminding me and other “young” activists, whenever he hears us complaining amongst ourselves, “Don’t tell us. Tell them. Contact the people who can do something about it.”

And that’s what I’m doing right now.

To put it simply, Frank needs financial help. His modest Social Security check—his only income—is inadequate to cover his needs. An organization called Helping Our Brothers and Sisters (HOBS) has intervened on his behalf.

From their website http://www.helpingourbrothersandsisters.com/donate.html:

“HOBS has worked with Dr. Kameny for more than a year, insuring that his basic life needs are met.

“To honor our greatest living gay rights activist, HOBS provides Frank with taxi vouchers. We work to ensure that his utilities are paid (phone, electric, water). We have worked with many other fine organizations in coordinating his needs.

“We are in constant communication with DC Government Officials, attempting to make sure city services are available to Dr. Kameny. We also gathered the donations in 2010 to pay Frank’s real estate taxes, of $2,000+.”

All donations to HOBS this month go to Frank. Meanwhile, a Facebook page has launched in conjunction with this effort, entitled “Buy Frank a Drink.” The idea is not literally to buy him drinks, but to spare $10 (or whatever you can afford) for him.

Frank has worked tirelessly for decades to make our lives better. It is simply not right that he should spend his twilight years in financial need.

I’m asking you to visit the HOBS website now and buy Frank a (figurative) drink—or 10, or whatever you can—to thank him for his monumental efforts. And I’m asking our national organizations to get behind this campaign, for a man who made their work possible.

He surely deserves that, and much more.

John Corvino, Ph.D. is a writer, speaker, and philosophy professor at Wayne State University in Detroit. His column “The Gay Moralist” appears Fridays at 365gay.com. He will be speaking on February 9 at Washington and Lee University in Virginia; read more at http://www.johncorvino.com/.


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I've known about the contributions of Dr. Kameny for some time now... He was fighting for our rights even before I was born, and so I've sent my contribution, have you sent yours?

"Fear Eats the Soul"

"Black History Is GLBT History Too..."

I've written about and posted details about Bayard Rustin before, but this short documentary tells more of his story than you generally hear. He is a hero of mine, not only for what he did for the cause of Black civil rights, but more importantly, for the way he lived his life... He knew that "a life lived in fear is a life half-lived." Because he lived his life fearlessly as a proud black man and a proud gay man, although working behind the scenes, he did as much to advance the cause of human rights for everyone as his friend Dr. King did while standing at the forefront of the struggle.



"Fear Eats the Soul"

"In The News Today..."


“Raise a Child” Ad Campaign “Puts a Real Face” on Gay Parenting

Pop Luck Club launches an ad campaign featuring its member families in order to reduce stigma around gay parenting.

The Pop Luck Club, a non-profit organization that supports gay fathers throughout Southern California, announced today the launch of its “Raise a Child” ad campaign that is geared to raise community awareness, support and understanding for gay fathers and their families.

The campaign also aims to inspire and aid gay fathers and prospective fathers as they explore the many routes to creating families, including surrogacy, fostering and adoption. The campaign includes radio PSAs and bus shelter ads featuring family portraits of its members. The ads run throughout January across the Los Angeles region, from the San Fernando and San Gabriel Valleys through the West Side, Central and East L.A. to Long Beach and Orange County.

The ad campaign hopes to reduce stigma around gay parenting. “We make lunches for our kids, get them to music and karate lessons… just like every family,” says Richard Valenza, co-president of the Pop Luck Club. He adds, “With this campaign, we are putting a real face on gay parenting.”

Since its founding in 1998, the Pop Luck Club has grown from a handful of fathers to over 500 members. It facilitates monthly “pot luck” play dates, discussions and support groups, online resources and news groups, family events and mentorship programs for prospective fathers.

Some gay fathers have found a perfect match through fostering and public adoption. “Nationwide, over 200,000 children are awaiting families,” said Dr. Tony Zimbardi, a Pop Luck Club board member. “It is our hope that more gay men will be inspired and enabled to create the loving families they deserve.”

The group’s members overwhelmingly report that raising children has affected them deeply. “Growing up, many of us felt sadness that coming out as gay would end our dreams of parenting,” says John Ireland, a Pop Luck Club board member. “I now know that becoming a father and providing a loving home for our child is the most important and rewarding thing I have ever done.”

For more information, visit http://www.popluckclub.org/

"Same Gender Loving People - No. 570"

"Joy And Happiness, These Come From Love..."


Positive images of people like me... The truth of the matter is that we all need to see people like ourselves. So everyday, I'll post a photo, drawing or some other artwork that depicts Same Gender Loving People as what we are... Only Human.

Saturday, February 5, 2011

"A Thought To Ponder..."


"A world without closets, a place where love can be expressed freely and without anxiety. Gay children of God are entitled to the same rights as all the other children."

- Phil Donahue, on what he wants the world to be like in the future.

"Same Gender Loving People - No. 569"

"With Love, Passion Unites..."


Positive images of people like me... The truth of the matter is that we all need to see people like ourselves. So everyday, I'll post a photo, drawing or some other artwork that depicts Same Gender Loving People as what we are... Only Human.

"In The News Today..."



The Gay South Is On The Rise



Jan. 25, 2011

Finally, the stereotype of an urban-dwelling, sexually promiscuous, relationship-avoidant homosexual can be put to rest.

2010 census data has shown that homosexuals are just like everyone else — engaging in monogamy, raising children and building strong families across the United States.

The findings contradict some of the most deeply ingrained stereotypes Americans have about the “homosexual lifestyle,” but the data helps to bring this way of life into legitimacy. The same-sex culture can no longer be thought of as an anomaly that can only be found on the West Coast and in New England because now there is evidence that it’s happening everywhere.

Demographers out of the University of California-Los Angeles have found that same-sex couples in Arkansas, Louisiana, Mississippi and Texas are more likely to raise families than same-sex couples on either coast. This means that families with parents of the same sex are becoming ingrained in the fabric of communities that historically have shunned change.

It appears, one could argue, that the South is rising again, but it is trading its religious rhetoric for diaper bags instead. The area with the highest rate of same-sex couples raising families? Jacksonville, Fla.

This is a dynamic shift that reaches across all demographics. In fact, same-sex couples who are of African-American or Latino heritage are twice as likely to be raising children as their white counterparts. They are also more likely to be struggling economically, another contradictory finding to the stereotype of the affluent, white gay.

Truly, homosexuality is a part of the human condition, not a niche behavior as some may think.

The census data proves that gay men tend to have children in a heterosexual relationship about three years before straight men procreate. When gay men leave these marriages to begin a same-sex relationship, they continue to raise and care for their children. This situation has played out particularly often in the South, where homosexuals are often bullied by their community’s expectations to engage in normative marriages before breaking free and claiming love for their own.

What is most notable about this data is that it shows homosexuality has become entrenched in American culture. It is not an anomaly, but instead a natural tendency that has been repressed by conservatives and churches throughout the centuries.

As more gays come out, representing all ethnicities and socioeconomic statuses, the rest of America will begin to see that the diversity of the homosexual culture is strikingly similar to that of this country.

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Who'd a thunkit? Just as I always suspected, the data reveals that
we're just like everybody else.

"Fear Eats the Soul"

Friday, February 4, 2011

"Same Gender Loving People - No. 568"

"We Are Loving Fathers Too..."

Positive images of people like me... The truth of the matter is that we all need to see people like ourselves. So everyday, I'll post a photo, drawing or some other artwork that depicts Same Gender Loving People as what we are... Only Human.

"The Truth Tonight..."



"Fear Eats the Soul"

"In The News Today..."


Gay Marine’s Husband Surprised At Respect Shown By Naval Academy


Neil Steinberg
January 30, 2011



John Fliszar had a heart attack in 2006 and was rushed to Illinois Masonic Medical Center.

“When I was in the emergency room with him, he asked me to promise him, if he died, to make sure his ashes were interred in the Naval Academy,” said Mark Ketterson. “He loved that place. He very much wanted to be there.”

Fliszar, a Marine aviator who served two tours in Vietnam, survived that heart attack. But last July the Albany Park resident suffered another one that killed him at age 61.

Hoping to fulfill Fliszar’s wishes, Ketterson contacted the U.S. Naval Academy at Annapolis and told them that Fliszar, Class of ’71, had wanted to have his ashes interred at the USNA’s Columbarium, a serene white marble waterside crypt next to the school’s cemetery.

The memorial coordinator asked about his relationship to the deceased. Ketterson said that John Fliszar was his husband.

“They were always polite, but there was this moment of hesitation,” Ketterson recalled. “They said they’re going to need something in writing from a blood relative. They asked, ‘Are you listed on the death certificate?’ ‘Do you have a marriage license?’ ”

He was and they did, the couple having been married in Des Moines when gay marriage became legal in Iowa two years ago.

Ketterson sent a copy of the marriage license. That changed everything.

“I was respected,” he said. “From that moment on, I was next of kin. They were amazing.”

The USNA alumni association sent Ketterson a letter expressing condolence for the loss of his husband.

The USNA says Fliszar’s interment followed standard operating procedure.

“His next of kin was treated with the same dignity and respect afforded to the next of kin of all USNA grads who desire interment at the Columbarium,” said Jennifer Erickson, a spokesperson for the academy. “We didn’t do anything differently.”

Shipmate magazine, the publication of the USNA’s alumni association, ran Fliszar’s obituary. It noted his two Purple Hearts for “having been shot down from the sky twice in military missions.” It noted “for the rest of his life he would joke about his ‘government issued ankle.’ ” It noted “his burly but warmly gentle manner.” It noted he was “survived by his husband, Mark Thomas Ketterson.”

“The word ‘husband’ in the obituary has created a bit of a stir,” said Ketterson, a Chicago social worker. “I’ve heard from a number of officers. It’s been amazing. This has not been absolutely confirmed, but I think I’m the first legal same-sex spouse who planned a memorial.”

The memorial service was held in October, in “the beautiful, beautiful Naval Academy chapel,” said Ketterson. A uniformed officer stood in the back and played taps.

“They did the standard military funeral, a wonderful service,” said Ketterson. “Since I was the designated next of kin, they were going to present the flag to me, but I deferred to his mom. She gave it to me.”

One of the groups Ketterson heard from afterward was USNA-Out, the organization for gay graduates of the naval academy.

“From my perspective, attitudes and actions are changing at the Naval Academy and certainly at the alumni association,” said Brian Bender, chair of USNA-Out, observing that while he “can’t speak for the Navy as a whole, we do interact with active-duty Navy folks, and they check in with their chain of command.”

I tried to find someone who could speak for the Navy as a whole, but with whatever era replaces “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’’ still in its infancy, well, let’s say that Navy communications specialists are not jostling each other for the chance to address this subject.

While the public generally approved of the official end of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’’ in the U.S. military, the details still need to be worked out. The thorny issue isn’t ending the costly and counterproductive practice of forcing gays out of military services — that cost $40 million a year to enforce and deprived the armed services of thousands of qualified personnel. A bigger challenge is the question of entitlements: Who is a survivor? Who gets military benefits?

A marriage certificate was the key that let the USNA know how to treat Ketterson in relation to his husband’s service. Gays in the military and gay marriage are thought of as separate issues, but without legal gay marriage, or at least civil unions, how can the military know who gets the folded flag?

John Fliszar and his husband, Mark Ketterson

Such practical concerns were far from Ketterson’s mind when he and Fliszar got married after dating for six years — “because I loved him and he asked me,” Ketterson said, adding that the USNA alumni he’s heard from have made grieving more bearable.

“It’s been some months. I’m still doing mourning,” Ketterson said. “As a gay man who grew up in a military family, getting communications from USNA, having heard from alumni who say, ‘You will always be one of us’ — that’s powerful, and healing.”

“One of the e-mails said that I was a ‘trailblazer,’ ’’ said Ketterson. “I didn’t blaze any trail. I buried my husband.”

That said, he still finds himself marveling at how it all unfolded.

“I am a patriotic American, but I know this is not a perfect world,” he said. “The point is, when the chips are down, when the issue was patriotism and honor for a veteran, they were wonderful. Whatever their private feelings, they made me proud to be an American. We really do get it right sometimes.”


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"The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends towards justice"

"The Artist's Corner"

"Forrest Primeval"
Oil on canvas
Cody Furguson