Love, having no geography, knows no boundaries.
- Truman Capote
Sunday, April 2, 2023
"Same Gender Loving People - No. 5136"
"Love And Happiness Are The Same Thing..."
Positive images of people like me... The truth of the matter is that we all need to see people like ourselves. So everyday, I'll post a photo, drawing or some other artwork that depicts Same Gender Loving People as what we are... Only Human.
"Just For Fun..."
The segments with Bert and Ernie were the only part of Sesame Street that I liked as a kid... At the time, I didn't realize that this was probably because subconsciously I understood that they were a same-sex couple. As far as the rest of the show, I agree with Dave Chappelle, I thought it was just weird...
Saturday, April 1, 2023
"This Made Me Smile..."
Yesterday was The International Day of Transgender Visibility and at my work we have many very active ERGs including one for LGBTQIA+ associates. That ERG had a speaker's event yesterday afternoon with a number of transgender/non-binary guests from across our organization who shared their stories with us. As I look back on the event today, I am so glad that I took time to join in and hear their stories. It was a powerfully moving hour that reinforced for me the need for my allyship with everyone in our broader community. Much like my own coming out story, the speakers shared many of the painful truths they've endured along their journey of the human experience. And like many in the meeting, I learned so much that I never knew or could have even imagined about what it means to be a non-binary person and the struggles they face on a daily basis.
The organization I work for is truly dedicated to DE&I and I was so proud to see that not only was my division president in the meeting, but also several important members of the executive leadership team of our parent company as well. It was so meaningful to everyone in the meeting to hear these C-suite leaders pledging to do what's right to support everyone's journey. I am truly thankful to be a part of an enterprise which knows that together, we are all stronger.
I don't remember where I found this meme, and at the time I didn't really know what it meant, but yesterday I finally understood it. An "NB Friend*" means a non-binary friend, and "Dead Name" is what NB people call their previous name before transitioning (when many will choose a name reflecting their gender reality). Each of the speakers yesterday referred to issues with their "dead name" and how it can be a reminder of painful incidents like when someone uses it to knowingly be hurtful and deny the NB person's reality. The speakers also shared how difficult and sometimes even triggering it is for them, even after going through legal name change procedures to get their names/gender identities changed in company records on even seemingly simple things like insurance IDs, email accounts and business cards. This was an area that the senior leaders in the meeting promised to address with urgency.
Like the company I work for, I believe in standing up for everyone's right to be who they are... Who am I or anyone else to say what someone should do or be like or feel. We're all unique in our own ways and how we feel inside is just as innate as the color of our eyes or the size of our fingers. As the meeting drew to a close, I realized that tears had been streaming from my eyes during parts of the speakers' talks, but by the end I was smiling to realize how fortunate I am to work in a supportive environment of acceptance and understanding that each of us have meaningful contributions to make as we continue our journey through the human experience.
*******
* Noun. NB (also Nb, nb, and the phonetic "enby") is an abbreviation for "non-binary" and denotes a spectrum of gender identities that do not follow the traditional gender binary expressions of "male" and "female".
NB is often used attributively to describe people who identify as non-binary and is also often used by those individuals to describe themselves.
"Same Gender Loving People - No. 5135"
"Love Means Parting Is Always Sweet Sorrow..."
Positive images of people like me... The truth of the matter is that we all need to see people like ourselves. So everyday, I'll post a photo, drawing or some other artwork that depicts Same Gender Loving People as what we are... Only Human.
"No Fooling... The Truth About Today"
Gert Kasteel, left, and Dolf Pasker kiss after exchanging vows at Amsterdam's City Hall
just after midnight Sunday, April 1, 2001.
Twenty-two years ago today, The Netherlands became the first nation in the world to grant marriage equality to same-sex couples.
10 years and 10 days after Gert and Dolf married, husband and I got married in Ontario, Canada which established marriage equality in 2003 (later expanded throughout Canada by national legislation in 2005). Like Gert and Dolf, husband and I were married in City Hall, in our case Windsor City Hall. Windsor is the sister city of Detroit right across the Detroit River which is the international border.
I'll always remember being asked by the Canadian border agent, "What's your reason for visiting Canada today?" When I replied, "We're getting married today." The agent gave us a broad smile and said, "Congratulations and welcome to Canada!" as he waived us through. On our return, when we got across the bridge, the U.S. Customs agent asked us, "Why were you in Canada?" I remember smiling broadly and saying, "We went to get married!" as I held Ed's hand up. And I'll never forget his reaction either... With a look of disgust on his face, he said, "Well, isn't that special." He handed our IDs back to me and turned away as the gate opened. It was then that I realized just how much work remained to be done before we could be free to be who we are. It didn't spoil our happy day, but it was a sobering reminder that the struggle was far from over.
Although the first U.S. state (Massachusetts) legalized same-sex marriage in 2004, it would not be until 2015 and the U.S. Supreme Court's ruling in Obergefell v. Hodges that the fundamental right of same-sex couples to marry on the same terms and conditions as opposite-sex couples established marriage equality throughout the United States.
The first Dutch couple to marry, Gert Kasteel and Dolf Pasker celebrating their 20th wedding anniversary in 2021.
There's still much work to be done... In Asia, only Taiwan has passed marriage equality and in Africa, only South Africa permits same-sex marriage. But look how far we've come in the span of just a couple of decades. This fills me with so much hope that someday little boys like I was won't have to grow up believing that they're consigned to a life of loneliness, fear and loathing without the hope of happily loving someone enough to spend the rest of their lives together.
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