"I Am Always Remembering..."

Love is a hypnotic power. When you love someone it seems that everything asked of you by the beloved one is a commandment you must obey. 

He said, "Well go ahead then..."

So, I did, and there have been hundreds of days in the eighteen years since that I've regretted not following that command to the end.

But on that Father's Day Sunday, before it was too late, he told me not to leave him, even as he left me to recover alone; too afraid to live and too afraid to die, because perhaps he actually loved me.

"I am always remembering... 

and my greatest fear is that I may not live long enough to forget."

I know this is a very cryptic post and it's mainly written to myself, but to those who are wondering and feel they must know, this post is about love, lies, fear and suicide.