"A Little Sane Advice..."

Spice Up Your Sex Life

Juan Session-Smalls
May 8, 2015


Sensual pleasure is a gift that keeps on giving; one that partners must not neglect so as to keep the sexual spark alive. Giving and receiving this gift through your intimate connections with each other can be a highly effective vehicle for expressing your deepest feelings for each other through your eroticism. Not to mention that it can also reinforce and solidify your identity as a couple and allow you to explore a deeper physical, mental and spiritual connection.

Spicing up your sex life should be a fun and collaborative experience and can only be facilitated with communication. For starters, talk to your love about his thoughts and feelings about your sex together to avoid making unfounded assumptions that could sabotage the relationship. Share with him your concerns about his sexual satisfaction and encourage a dialogue between the two of you where you each share what pleases each of you and how you might incorporate these suggestions into your love-play. For all you know, he might be perfectly content with how things are and you could be needlessly fretting for nothing. But even so, these types of discussions are important to expanding a highly satisfying sex life to yet another level of bliss that you hadn’t even imagined. Or it can jump-start a dwindling intimacy with a newfound sense of enthusiasm and anticipation like in the early days of your time together.

Tips and strategies for a greater sex life are limitless and there are many books on the subject. Here are a few suggestions you could try if you are feeling frisky:

• Have sex in different rooms at different times and utilize all the household items in your house to stimulate all your senses and heighten your arousal.
• Don’t forget foreplay! Gay men can have a tendency to rush through sex and “rush to the finish line” rather than slowing down and enjoying the process. Take your time and build up the arousal slowly until your love can’t take anymore. You’ll drive him crazy with a slow build-up of erotic energy. Quickies can be intensely satisfying as well.  Do both!
• Touch each other! Explore and discover each other’s erogenous zones with massage. Don’t just focus on the genitals! The entire body can be used to intensify your sexual pleasure.
• Try different role-plays, create your own pornographic film for your own eyes only, share your fantasies, write erotic stories and read them together in bed, blindfold your love and have him guess which food you’re having him taste or smell or sensually rub an object over his erogenous zones and make him guess what it is, etc.

This is just barely scratching the surface! The ultimate key to hot, mind-blowing sex with your partner is to communicate your needs and desires and come towards each other with an attitude of playfulness, creativity, spontaneity, variety, and imagination. What turns on one couple may not for another, so talk with each other and experiment with different scenarios to discover those activities that work best for you in reaching your erotic potential.