"Kisses Bridge The Gap Between Like And Love... Live Fearlessly "
Sunday, November 30, 2014
"A Little Sane Advice..."
11/18/2014
Dear Little Rickey (or any other young gay man just finding his way),
I'm about to talk to you. Not in a bad way. Consider it more like your own mini-version of "Back To The Future." I know you don't know what that means, but just trust me, when you catch up to it you'll love that movie.
You see, I'm chatting with you right now to pass back some assurance, insights, and monkey-mind-quieting advice for you to use as you journey towards becoming the man you're going to be—a proud, scared, confused, strong, intuitive, fun-loving, gay man! Now, I know it's a bit early for us to talk about gender identity, sexuality, sexual orientation, and sex, so let's start at the beginning.
We've now lived 51 years, 95 days, 2 hours, 3 minutes, and 45 seconds since landing on earth in Loveland, Colorado. Crazy, isn't it? I know you think we're really old, but we're not. Good news is, we seem to have some pretty good genes in the family tree, so with any luck we'll be around for at least another 30 years. It looks like that thought brought some clarity to our big, brown, unfocused eyes. Don't worry; soon you'll be able to see clearly—with your eyes and thoughts.
Don't Let Sex Become a Hang Up:
So, here's your first piece of advice: sex and sexuality, which involves that little penis nub right below your belly button, is a beautiful thing. And yes, it's okay to touch yourself down there. Just make sure it doesn't become an obsession ... it could get in the way of safely driving a car.
Know That The World Is Changing (For The Better)
In a few years, the world is really going to begin to change about this thing called sexuality. Contrary to what some may think, it won't be because homosexuals (people who love people of the same sex) were behind the assassination of John F. Kennedy. Yes, he's going to be assassinated just a couple of months from the day we were born, but honestly, we gay people had nothing to do with it!
The shift I'm talking about is going to start with an event in New York City—a fabulous city we'll visit a lot—called the Stonewall Riots. Basically, the police are going to tell gay people they are bad and we're going to get ticked off and throw a fit.
From that event forward, gays and lesbians (girls who like girls) are going to fight to be treated equally and not be looked upon as bad people. In fact, in 2014, some people are even going to blame us gay men for the way Starbucks' lattes taste. We aren't responsible, but they do taste good, so we might as well take the credit for it.
Plus, Starbucks is a really gay-friendly place to work.
You'll Be Different And That's Okay
But, enough about the historical stuff. I want to talk about our "stuff". Here's the deal: We're going to grow up being curious about our bodies, especially our penis, like most guys do. Then, we're going to start discovering our feelings, looking at other guys (and some girls), and we're going to discover that something just isn't adding up.
As much as we'd like to be like the rest of the guys, tongue twisting with the girls, it just isn't going to be what we're fond of. Don't get me wrong, kissing is awesome; however, when it comes to throat-diving with someone, you're going to suddenly find that you'd rather be doing it with Michael, rather than Mindy. Sure, you'll give it try with Theresa, Kim, Jennifer, Barbie (no, not the doll), and even a Shari, but it just won't work.
You'll try to hide what you're feeling, but it's not going to be who you really are. You'll know that, you just won't completely understand it for awhile, so be patient. I wish I could tell you to just go for it and say, "Bite me" (one of the slang phrases that will be popular as you grow older) to everyone who doesn't "get" you. But, I'm going to suggest that you stand your ground, trust yourself to be yourself and know that one day, you'll have a life better than you ever imagined possible.
Here's a few other things I want you know. (I don't want to give away too much because I want you to have a great life experience):
1. You are who you are, plain and simple.
2. Pretending sucks. Reality rocks.
3. Making others comfortable with you is not your responsibility.
4. You're going to love and be loved. You're also going to dislike and be disliked. Choose the first combo; it's much more fun.
5. Don't worry about what you've done wrong. Just always learn from it.
6. It is not selfish to take care of you first.
7. You will have what you desire, provided you ask for it, and only ask for it if it's in your best interest.
8. Make sure that what you expect from others, you are willing for them to expect from you.
9. Try to learn that everything is happening for you, not to you (even the trip to the principal's office for an insane reason that Sarah made up).
10. Speak when it makes a difference, and stay quiet when it makes sense.
Alright, I just wanted to come say hello before you dive into your journey outside of Mom's womb. Life is going to be fun, trust me. You're going to see the world, be challenged by it, and thrive. But, as the hip kids say these days, "It's all good."
Enjoy the journey, my little gay self. And, in the words of RuPaul (a fabulous drag queen), "If you don't love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?"
This article originally appeared on YourTango.com as: 10 Things I Want My Younger, Gay Self To Know
"Selfie Love..."
"Selfie Love" - those beautiful, grainy, out-of-focus self-pics that capture the truth of true love...
"We Were Always There..."
"Everyone thought it was a lark, forbidden fruit and all, but it was nothing less than love..."
"Same Gender Loving People - No. 1860"
"Love Is Life's Real Freedom..."
Positive images of people like me... The truth of the matter is that we all need to see people like ourselves. So everyday, I'll post a photo, drawing or some other artwork that depicts Same Gender Loving People as what we are... Only Human.
Saturday, November 29, 2014
"A Little Sane Advice for America..."
Police corral protesters before detaining them during a march in Los Angeles
Alex Lo
November 28, 2014
There is perhaps no better time than now for Americans to practise what they teach others.
No, I don't mean democracy, though that would be a good start too. It's community policing, or for starters, demilitarise your police forces. Average Americans and most foreigners are just shocked by the sight of thousands of "robocops" deployed in Ferguson and several other major cities.
The United States Agency for International Development should really consider sending some of its expert staff home. No, I don't mean it rudely as in "Yankees, go home".
USAid has been working over many years to train locals about responsible policing in war-torn countries. According to Foreign Policy, USAid has decades-old programmes that help countries such as El Salvador, Kosovo, Guatemala and Liberia to demilitarise their security forces and make them accountable for crimes such as extrajudicial killings.
Now is especially a good time to go home when the agency has been told to stop its undercover subversive work under the guise of democracy promotion in countries that don't want them.
One of its manuals asks foreign security forces such questions: "Does the police agency have a use of force policy? Are armed forces held legally accountable for their actions when performing law enforcement or public safety functions? Do [legal] bodies aggressively review and act upon complaints of misconduct?"
"While aimed at police systems overseas," the FP said, "these questions have been asked with renewed urgency in the United States since [Michael] Brown's death, which has become the latest symbol of racial injustice in a country where young black men are 21 times more likely to be shot dead by police than young white men. "
The article didn't mention how those foreign forces got militarised in the first place. In many cases, they were armed and trained by the US military. These included right-wing death squads during the cold war and Reagan eras.
Besides foreign armies, the US military has been giving surplus weapons to US police forces since the 1990s, thereby contributing to the "warrior cops" phenomenon we see across the US today. The chickens have come home to roost.
*******
Sometimes the truth hurts...
"Fear Eats the Soul"
"Selfie Love..."
"Selfie Love" - those beautiful, grainy, out-of-focus self-pics that capture the truth of true love...
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"A Little Sane Advice..."
David Artavia
November 27, 2013
You know the feeling we get when we discover the answer to a lifelong question? It always seems to happen at the most inopportune times. Mine was in the LGBT section at my local Barnes & Nobles, a place I’ve found myself frequenting more often these days.
After reading a book about chemical attraction in gay people, the idea of soul mates finally made sense. All my life I’ve read fairy tales which seemed to say that this “one person” we’re destined to be with is from some divine power sent to be with us and is basically the only person who will make us happy for the rest of our lives. Turns out, it all has to do with energetic attraction – none of that other mumbo jumbo.
It’s rare for a person to find someone who fits perfectly into their life, not just in regards to their goals and dreams, but also within their own sense boundaries. When his personality and spirit intertwine with yours in such an effortless way, to me, that is a message your intuition receives, telling you that you’ve met the perfect mixture. Not everyone is so lucky, however.
Too many times I’ve known people claiming they’ve met their soul mate, yet they have no idea what it really means. A soul mate is more than just someone you’re attracted to sexually or someone who puts up with your sh*t. They help you grow, they help you learn, and they teach you how to love.
In the gay community, it’s easy to surpass your soul mate. For whatever reason, there is a consistent habit of intellectualizing everyone. We over think things too much and though we feel like we have to in order to protect our hearts from getting broken, a likely consequence is to ignore our intuition. You see, this is the command center of all things. It’s the retrieving end that receives all of life’s messages, including energetic ones.
Our Intuition is like an “invisible antenna.” All animals have it, and we’d be ignorant to say that we don’t. Just as we have the ability to spot a bad egg when we meet one, our senses are equally as powerful in spotting compatibility in a person.
Here’s where the dilemma lies. It’s comfortable for us to embrace an intuitive feeling of judgment towards a person, but it’s much harder for us to accept the feeling of goodness and compatibility. When it happens, we instantly send it to our intellect for analysis. Suddenly, we over-think, speculate, and assume the worst – all because we’ve met a guy we click with, and that’s rare. It hardly ever occurs, which is why we become too scared to enjoy the feeling and see where it leads.
It’s time we learn to embrace our intuition, and listen to its messages. This is how our soul mates are revealed to us. Too many couples pretend to be happy, often refusing to listen to their gut when it screams: “This isn’t the person for you!” Why waste time on incompatibility when an honest connection exists if you’d only listen?
Never confuse your gut with your heart. Our hearts are easily influenced, but our gut is never wrong. It will always be the compass towards our destiny, and we all have a different trajectory. Our minds use society as its fuel for rationalizing, which is why we often intellectualize relationships based on culture’s man-made instruction manual. Our intuition is fueled by the spirit, and is virtually unaffected by the world. Whatever it tells you is meant to better your well-being. Ignoring it can cause serious damage.
Soul mates are real. They’re not magical beings purposely planted on earth for you to find like a “Where’s Waldo” game. They’re walking around us, and trust me. There’s more than one. Somewhere close by there is a man who fits your life, senses, soul, and spirit like a puzzle. When your intuition speaks to you, you can always find comfort to know one thing. His is speaking to him as well…
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"Fear Eats the Soul"
"Same Gender Loving People - No. 1859"
"Love Is Love The Whole World Over..."
Positive images of people like me... The truth of the matter is that we all need to see people like ourselves. So everyday, I'll post a photo, drawing or some other artwork that depicts Same Gender Loving People as what we are... Only Human.
Friday, November 28, 2014
"The Truth About Love..."
Supporters of the measure outside the Parliament during the lead up to the vote
After the vote, Finland’s Prime Minister Alexander Stubb embraced the country’s
first openly gay, black MP, Jani Toivola
Congratulations Finland!
"Fear Eats the Soul"
"The Truth About Who We Are..."
by thegaymenproject |
photos by Kevin Truong
photos by Kevin Truong
Pablo, in his own words: "The way I see it, being gay is just another part of my personality. I don´t follow a so-called “gay lifestyle” and I usually don´t like things gay people like. I´d like to think of me as a guy who likes guys.
Being gay in Argentina doesn´t mean hiding all the time. Gay marriage is legal here and being homosexual is not frowned upon, as it is in many other more “civilized” countries. It´s just OK to be gay. You won´t be rejected in a job interview for being openly gay, and cases of homophobia are quite uncommon. I don´t see any challenges or successes that I got from the sole act of being gay. I personally think that these challenges and successes are part of our everyday life, our social circle, our community and, most important, our attitude. We have to live with it. That´s all.
To be honest I haven´t come out yet. I know that my mother and my sister know something about my sexuality but we don´t talk about it. My father doesn´t know anything. I don’t know if he is blind or if he is just not accepting it. Anyways, I feel that I am stuck with this because I don´t want to hurt him.
(With regards to the gay community in Buenos Aires) I would say that it is very active. Buenos Aires is a big city, so there are parties almost every weekend. Being gay is accepted and normal.
(With regards to advice to my younger self)I would probably tell myself not to be afraid to come out. The sooner, the better."
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"Fear Eats the Soul"
"Selfie Love..."
"Selfie Love" - those beautiful, grainy, out-of-focus self-pics that capture the truth of true love...
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