"The Truth About Who We Are..."

A Note From Andre, in Toronto… by thegaymenproject

photos by Andre

I’m André and I’m a 23 years old Brazilian chubby guy. Being gay for me, as with most of the people, wasn’t so easy. I have always knew that I was gay but as my family was always super poor, we used to live in the “favelas” where the discrimination is way more stronger because of their lack of knowledge. I always thought that I had an extremely happy and acceptable life, well, I have never got beaten or mistreated by anyone; However, while I was remembering my life history I concluded that that’s not the truth. I was miserable because I tried to hide myself 24/7, and living a lie makes you lose thousands of unique memories and denies your own happiness.

Until my last year of high school back in Brazil I pretended that I wasn’t gay, yet I have never said that I was straight either to anyone. But then one day I decided to tell a friend and three months later to my mother. It obviously wasn’t easy for her and she got the weirdest reaction ever (in the next day she told all her friends and neighbors, it was so embarrassing). After that I became happier, I became more confident, unfortunately I am still shy for most of the things lol.

After this event, I felt that I could do everything I wanted, I could express myself freely without fear of my parents discovering. I think that after living this lie for so long God (or the universe , or any spiritual leader that that people believe in)brought into my life a succession of good stuff. I got accepted in the Federal University, which was a source of pride to my poor family that couldn’t give me a high quality education, and of course wouldn’t have enough money to pay the college tuition . Afterwards, I got an internship in a multinational oil and gas company that was considered impossible to most of my friends. Meanwhile I learned how to see love beyond any stereotype, I loved a super skinny guy, and positive, and one that looks more bottom than me LMAO. In this flashback through my life I noticed that after I became out, even the way I smiled became different. I realized that my old way to smile had never seemed truly happy. I think what I am trying to say is that I AM PROUD TO BE GAY.

I got an good life with all my true friends, I got the internship of my dreams, my parents were happy because I have a good quality education sponsored by the government, and a short time ago the Brazilian government offered to continue my higher education in any part of the world for two years. And now here I’m in Toronto - Canada representing my country, traveling around the world, living by my own in a totally different place, and learning a whole new language for free. That’s why you are probably finding a bunch of English mistakes in my text (I am still learning, okay?). Well, I am still a student but my next step is to finish this study program that I am in, so finally I can give something good back to my family that is still in the reality that I left.

In conclusion, I realized that life can be good if you are good with yourself in the first place.

******

"Fear Eats the Soul"