"Hold Hands And Let Your Love Show. .. Live Fearlessly "
Sunday, August 31, 2014
"Same Gender Loving People - No. 1779"
"Love And Light Are The Same Thing..."
Positive images of people like me... The truth of the matter is that we all need to see people like ourselves. So everyday, I'll post a photo, drawing or some other artwork that depicts Same Gender Loving People as what we are... Only Human.
"The Views To Love..."
{ GEOFFREY + JAY }
NYC, TWO HANDSOME GUYS AND A CUTE LITTLE DOG!
Congratulations On Your Engagement!
"Fear Eat the Soul"
"Sometimes In Advertising..."
This campaign from Marriott is just a little surprising considering the Marriott family are Mormons and senior leaders in the LDS Church (which sponsored Prop 8 and other anti-equality initiatives across the country). And yes, you will find a Book of Mormon along with the Gideon Bible in the rooms.
Nevertheless, it's an encouraging sign that some Mormons do recognize that our relationships and families deserve respect and acknowledgement, even if the state Utah and it's Mormon controlled legislature, attorney general and governor don't.
"Fear Eats the Soul"
"The Truth About Who We Are..."
by thegaymenproject |
photos by Kevin Truong
Ron, in his own words: "Being able to be who I am with complete honesty is freedom. Being able to love someone because I simply love that person is the greatest joy I have ever experienced. The journey mostly has been a good one. Since I have been quite attracted to both men and women, I've lived an interesting life and been in love with both men and women.
However, nothing ever quite was like meeting Ben. Before Ben I had fallen deeply in love with a woman, and I was married to her for almost 17 years, most of those years were happy. The greatest joy was having two beautiful, talented and creative sons, Nick and Nate who both have good and satisfying lives living and working in New York City. Thus I also have two beautiful grandchildren! Sadly, the marriage ended when my wife's mental illness could not be accepted by her.
I dated some other wonderful and beautiful women for a few years. Then while working in Washington, DC I happened upon this younger man who wanted to go to dinner. His kindness, caring got to me and we dated for six months. Sadly it ended but we both ended up happy later. He said when he departed, "Ron, you will meet someone soon, he will be good to you and you to him." Not long after, I was at Northeastern University in Boston in the dining room. There I noticed a beautiful and quite stunning Asian man glancing toward me. After we both glanced, we had lunch together, then he asked for a date. I returned to Boston where he and many members of his family were there. We went together! They all liked me. That was in July of 1997.
Sixteen years later, from Portland, Maine to Orlando FL, to our beautiful heaven in Vancouver, British Columbia , Ben and I have loved each other and respected one another every day. Every time I look at his face, the joy inside my heart almost makes me weep. Never to fade!
Too, My sons, grandchildren, friends all embrace Ben. They love him. Likewise I am so lucky that his family loves me very much and we are so close. They are my family, too. Our home is one of peace and love. We are a team!
Initially because I held many public and high profile jobs (Police Chief, School Administrator and now therapist/counsellor) many folks had much to say to me and sadly some behind my back when I fell in love with another man 16 years earlier. The state of gays in the world has changed a great deal from those days; now gay folks are accepted and few make a big deal about gay people in 2013. I was glad to be in the early days. I tell people, I would have fallen in love with Ben whether he had been a man or a woman. His qualities of giving of himself, his humility, core values, kindness and respect for all that lives are huge points of attraction. Being good looking is nice, but that fades for everyone. We all grow old. I am happy that Ben's enduring qualities will never fade.
Moving to Vancouver was the best decision we could have made, suggested by his sister, Sungya, who had visited here. Every day has been a joy! Our gay friends we met when we first moved here are still are close friends. Vancouver's gay population is well accepted. There are still those who hate, but overall, being gay here has not
been a big deal for many years. Gay men and women have straight friends, they live in houses and condos throughout the Metro area. There is a gay village, called Davie. It's funky.
been a big deal for many years. Gay men and women have straight friends, they live in houses and condos throughout the Metro area. There is a gay village, called Davie. It's funky.
Where we live, New Westminster, has been turning into a sought after community (known as highly supportive to gays) for gay singles and couples. The community reminds me of communities I lived in as a kid in Maine. To sum, Ben said it best when we arrived here in July, 2005. "I finally feel so secure and happy." Since then Ben and I both became dual citizens of our own birth country and Canada.
I am happy with who I am. During the Winter of my life, it really feels like Spring. It feels right.
This project and the stories that are told are good , supportive tools to help any gay man who is thinking about coming out. We live very short lives. The hope for all of us is to start living that life in a creative, meaningful way that is filled with comfortable love. Being honest, loving yourself and coming to terms with who you are signals the right time to sing to the world about who you are. Sing in quiet melody, shout a song to the mountains - your choice. But sing. When your soul says you are ready."
Ben, in his own words: "I think I have always liked men from when I was little. I thought that I was the only one in this world having these kind of feelings. It's like having a big secret and I didn't dare to share it to anyone. First feelings came when I was young and at summer camp in Singapore. I did not know though what those feelings were.
I later had a boyfriend in Bangkok when I attended the university there. We did everything there, even opening a clothing store at an upscale mall. Sadly, we grew apart. I was sad and decided to move to the United States.
Soon I was off to graduate school in Boston. There I met many interesting men but none like Ron. I adored him from when I met him. So did my family.When I graduated with a Masters degree, I moved to Portland, Maine to be with Ron and his family. We lived in an ocean-side townhouse near a college. It was beautiful. I was so happy. Ron always had a committed plan and he was always kind to me. I worked as a math teacher at the high school where Ron was an administrator.
Soon we moved to Orlando with dreams of moving to beautiful Vancouver. Vancouver never disappointed. It is the most beautiful place with many friendly people. The moment we arrived, we had so many friends! Many of those friends are our friends today.
Ron and I were never much for clubbing or going out. We always enjoy each other company. He is my everything...my partner...my best friend and my soul. I think we complete each other!
Advice? Be true to who you are - only you can decide the road to your own happiness and joy. You control your destiny. You have that gift, that freedom."
*******
"Fear Eats the Soul"
Saturday, August 30, 2014
"The Truth About Who We Are..."
by thegaymenproject |
photos by Kevin Truong
Simon, in his own French words: "Être homosexuel, bon ou mauvais ou les deux ? Le plus difficile est de l’accepter pour soi-même. Après l’acception il reste à l’intégrer, une fois intégré on y trouve du bon, on grandit et on se dit qu’il y a pire que ça dans la vie !
Ça débute par faire le deuil de notre idéal de vie que l’on c’était imaginé dès le jeune âge, d’un modèle de famille qu’on croyait facilement réalisable. La frustration et la colère s’emparent de nous et nous fait regarder en l’air pour envoyer chier le bon dieu de nous imposer un tel défi. On voudrait négocier avec lui un cancer, voir même une amputation en remplacement de ce mal étrange et intense qui nous habite. On cherche à qui s’identifier dans ce nouvel univers d’hyper sexualisation auquel on n’a pas envie d’adhérer malgré la pression qui nous y pousse. On est confronté à nos propres préjugés, on se déconstruit pour retrouver une nouvelle identité, on tente de se trouver de nouveaux repères, non sans peur, angoisse ni vertige.
Puis on se dévoile au grand jour, on cesse de se mentir et de mentir aux autres, sauf à sa grand-mère trop vieille pour comprendre, on fait face aux préjugés, les nôtres et ceux des autres, on a peur d’aimer, de s’ouvrir, on se le reproche et on renvoie chier le bon dieu, on s’achète un pantalon trop serré et on le rapporte au magasin. L’ambiguïté s’installe entre ce qui est normal et malsain, on avance et on revient sur nos pas.
Et puis un jour on aperçoit la lumière au bout du tunnel, on respire une bonne bouffée d’air. On se regarde dans le miroir et enfin on aime assez ce qu’on y voit. On regarde derrière sans avoir envie d’y retourner. Finalement on se reconstruit dans une authenticité qui nous réjouit et on se rend compte qu’on ne le déteste pas tant que ça ce Christ. On prend conscience que ce détour obligatoire nous a fait voyager à travers nous-même, nous a permis de s’ouvrir aux autres, de s’ouvrir à la différence, on se sent entier et enfin libre. Alors on desserre les poings et on trouve que tout ça en valait la peine."
******
"Crainte mange l'âme"
"When It's Time To Meet His Family..."
Introducing your boyfriend to your family for the first time can be nerve-racking — especially when your mother is a strong-willed character played by Patricia Clarkson.
In the new film Last Weekend, actor Zachary Booth plays the role of Theo, a young man who brings his new beau to meet his lovably dysfunctional family during a holiday at their Northern California lake house. Last Weekend features a dynamic cast including Clarkson, Jayma Mays, Judith Light, Joseph Cross, Mary Kay Place, Rutina Wesley, and the two hot young actors Zachary Booth and Devon Graye.
The hilarious and poignant dramedy hits theaters and VOD platforms on August 29, just in time for Labor Day weekend. The whole thing got us thinking about our own dysfunctional families and the wisdom we’ve accrued over the years in how to cope with them.
Check out the trailer for Last Weekend below, and scroll down for five survival tips on bringing your boyfriend home to meet your wacky clan.
Five Tips For Surviving A Weekend Home With Your Beau…
1. Ask yourself: “Am I really ready to do this?”
There are a handful of major “firsts” in every serious relationship. The first time you have sex. Your first fight. Your first trip together. And, of course, the first time you introduce him to your family. Typically, each “first” is preceded by a period of reflection, in which you ask yourself whether you’re making the right decision. Never is this more important than before bringing your beau home to meet your mom and pop. Especially if they’re crazy. (Trust us, we know.) Not only do you want to be emotionally ready, but you also want to make sure your relationship is on solid enough ground to withstand whatever natural — or man-made — disasters may result from a visit home. Only proceed if you are confident you can weather this storm.
2. Don’t withhold information
While it may be tempting to downplay or simply not alert your man to what he’s getting himself into, this is not advised. Nobody likes being thrust into a chaotic situation without proper warning. It’s better to be upfront, so that he knows what to expect and can do the emotional prep work needed to survive the weekend unscathed. Not telling him about your mother’s affinity for pinot grigio and Precious Moments figurines or your nudist father’s taxidermied ferret collection could result in him feeling that you weren’t honest. And nothing kills a relationship faster than dishonesty.
3. Give him pointers
Once you’ve been completely open with your boyfriend about what to expect, it may be helpful to offer him suggestions for getting along with folks. Talking points aren’t just statements used by politicians to help sway public opinion. They can also be lifelines at awkward family gatherings. Most people know what not to talk about (politics, bodily functions, the ethics of animal slaughter, et cetera), but if you can give your man a few suggestions for conversation starters for various members of your family, it will help him feel more at ease when he finds himself sandwiched between your crazy cousin Connie and your great aunt Winifred at the dinner table with nothing to talk about except the stemware.
4. Be understanding
Hopefully your boyfriend gets along with your crew, but in the event that they’re simply too much for him to handle, don’t get upset. Be a shoulder for him to cry on. In the privacy of your childhood bedroom, with the door tightly closed and the radio on to drown out the sound of his sniffles, allow him to vent his frustrations without getting defensive or making excuses. Remember, your tolerance for your family is higher because — well — they’re your family. Your shared DNA means you’re biologically programmed with the equipment needed to cope with their quirkiness. He is not. Allow him to meltdown and try not to take anything he says in the heat of the moment too personally.
5. Remember that everything will be okay in the end
You know what they say: What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger. Chances are your relationship will not implode over the course of the weekend. Sure, there may be some tension. There might even be a day or two of recovery time needed when you get back to your shared apartment. But if your partnership is solid, you will survive. And, years from now, you’ll look back on all this with fondness. Or, if not fondness, a sense of relief. Not just that it’s over, but that you lived to tell about it. Then you’ll promise to one another that when the two of you build a family together, yours will be different.
"Same Gender Loving People - No. 1778"
"Summer Is The Time For Love And Fun Under The Sun..."
Positive images of people like me... The truth of the matter is that we all need to see people like ourselves. So everyday, I'll post a photo, drawing or some other artwork that depicts Same Gender Loving People as what we are... Only Human.
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