"What Would Jesus Do...?"

What Would You Do If You Found Out Your Child Was Gay?

Monday, March 31, 2014  

What would you do if you found out your child was gay?

It is a question very few parents ever ask themselves, and one that many think even less about since they believe it is something that only happens to 'other people'.

But finding out that your child is gay in a society that is still struggling to accept the lifestyle is something that a number of parents have to face.

In fact, it is estimated that between three to 10 per cent of the world's population is homosexual, meaning that it's an issue that parents face daily. So what would you do if you found out that your child was gay?

George H, father of four:

"Well, it might sound harsh but I would disown him. I'm telling you the honest truth! It may seem harsh, but if he was a gunman it's the same way I would treat him. He would have to go and live his life and don't get me mixed up in it. The way I see it, the world can't run without families, you have to reproduce to make families, and two men can't reproduce. So that alone should tell you that it's wrong. If it was my daughter, she stands a better chance with me. Women can get away much more than men 'cause it's not so obvious with females. But I still wouldn't encourage it. I would do what I need to do to try change her mind."

Garfield Y, father of three:

"It would be difficult as hell, but I would accept it. It would be easier to handle if it is my daughter as we could still maintain that father/daughter relationship. But it would be impossible to have anywhere near a good father/son relationship with my son."

Wayne W, father of one:

"As long as she is happy, I wouldn't kill her. I would more be happy that she trusts me enough to tell me. But if I have a son who is gay that is different still. I wouldn't want to hear, but I wouldn't kill him. I would just stay far from him. Just the thought of him doing that with another man turns my stomach! But girl or boy, support done at 18, straight or not!"

Hugh W, father of two:

"I would be very upset, but if it's my daughter I would love her just the same. I would not condone the lifestyle but what am I going to do? I would still have to love her."

Angela H, mother of three:

"I don't know, to be honest. A lot of people say it can't happen to them and then you realise that is when you are faced with it then you know how to handle it. But I would not judge."

Bobbette B, mother of one:

"If I find out while she is in high school I would try and get counselling for her. If that doesn't work, then it would be very hard to accept because it is not something I believe in. But I couldn't put her out."

Olivia J, mother of one:

"I would try and find counselling for her. But if I have a boy and realise he was gay, he would have to leave! Him couldn't stay in the same house with me."

Roxanne T, mother of one:

"I wouldn't do anything. It's my child. I definitely wouldn't throw her out. She just couldn't flaunt it in my house, but I would have to love her just the same."

Andrae T, father of two:

"With the knowledge I have now I would not throw out the child. But there would be a lot of rules in my house; for the boy: no tight clothes, no bleach-out hair and skin, no dressing in drag. He is still supposed to look respectable. And he still has to go to school. His occupation cannot be 'gay'. For the girl, no baggy clothes, no wearing of underpants — she still has to look like a girl. For them the rule is simple — like AIDS — you're not supposed to tell by just looking!"

*****

I titled this post, "What Would Jesus Do...?" because in my experience the extreme homophobia that exists in Jamaica and other Caribbean states is due to the influence of evangelical Christianity (especially that which is exported from the United States).  And the irony of this is that I am sure that the savior that many Jamaicans claim a fervent belief in would love and accept all of their children and wouldn't understand the hatred that is claimed in his name.

Nevertheless, this article is encouraging... At least the conversation, (albeit a horrifying one in some cases) has begun.  Recently, the courts in Kingston actually deemed that the many young and homeless gay men and boys in the capital had a right to live and sleep in the sewers (the police had routinely driven them out), and this was heralded as a great victory in the country where being gay is often a death sentence at the hands of mob violence.

Perhaps the day will soon come when it will be okay to be gay and just as you are.  For Jamaica, that day is long overdue.

"Fear Eats the Soul"