"Sunday Funnies..."

 

SOCIALLY UNACCEPTABLE HUMOR.....

I was in bed with a blind 18-year-old last night and he said that I had the biggest penis he had ever laid his hands on.  I said "You're pulling my leg."

I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the ice!  At least I presume she was poor - she only had $1.20 in her purse.

My boyfriend thinks that I'm a stalker.  Well, he's not exactly my boyfriend, yet.

Went for my routine checkup today and everything seemed to be going fine until he stuck his index finger up my butt!  Do you think I should change dentists?

I was explaining to my boyfriend last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature.  He said he would like to come back as a pig.  I said, "You're obviously not listening."

The boyfriend has been missing a week now.  Police said to prepare for the worst. So, I went to the thrift shop to get all of his clothes back.

At the Senior Citizens Center they had a contest the other day.  I lost by one point: The question was: Where do men mostly have curly hair? Apparently the correct answer was Africa!  Who knew?

One of the other questions that I missed was to name one thing commonly found in cells.  It appears that Mexicans is not the correct answer either.

You can say lots of bad things about pedophiles but at least they drive slowly past schools.

A buddy of mine has just told me he's getting it on with his girlfriend and her twin. I said "How can you tell them apart?" He said "Her brother's got a mustache."

Being a modest man, when I checked into my hotel on a recent trip, I said to the lady at the registration desk, "I hope the porn channel in my room is disabled."  To which she replied, "No, it's regular porn, you sick bastard."