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Why is Malaysia trying to spot gay schoolchildren?

The country is on an ill-conceived crusade to 'curb the problem of homosexuality', but the UK has little to be proud of in this area

Matthew Todd  September 14, 2012

So the Malaysian government has finally enlightened us all as to how to identify the gay child in your classroom. In an effort to "curb the problem of homosexuality", the Teacher's Foundation of Malaysia is holding seminars where parents are instructed on how to identify gay kids. Homosexual boys "may wear tight, light clothes and carry large handbags". Lesbians are apparently easy to spot, as they like to "hang out and sleep in the company of other girls". So, um, all girls then.

How can the Malaysian authorities be so stupid? All young gays know that large handbags are completely over. At International HQ, new recruits are instructed to be fashion forward. We had the baby Karl Lagerfeld look in the 80s, tiny combats and DM boots in the 90s, and the same decade's indie moment came when the Marilyn Manson look become popular (instead of just Marilyn). Now in 2012 we are going for the butch look. Clearly some baby gays are still into accessories but most gays will be wearing tracksuits and trying to look butch.

Of course, it is easy to scoff at Malaysia's frightening campaign (try looking for the gays like Gareth Thomas, you know, the ones who play rugby) but we in the UK are not in a position to take the moral high ground.

In the UK we seem unable to even countenance the idea that children may have some kind of burgeoning sexual orientation, and even worse, that a small number of them may be lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender. Sssh, don't talk about it; you'll make them all start having sex!

I knew I was different from the other boys (yes, zzz) when I was four or five, and actually realised I was a bona fide homosexual at the age of 10. I wasn't worried about the size of my handbag or about having sex, I was too busy crying myself to sleep, trying to change, wondering if my parents would abandon me and whether I should get married to a woman or just kill myself.

I want to sneer at Malaysia for the mental torture they will be inflicting on kids (and their parents), but we all need to wake up to what therapist Dr Joe Kort calls the "covert cultural child abuse" that is being inflicted on all LGBT kids in every single classroom in every single school in the UK, the US and across the world.

This year's Stonewall Schools report shows that 55% of LGB kids experience bullying in schools, three in five say teachers hear it and do nothing about it and the rates of self-harming, suicidal thoughts and behaviour in gay or bisexual kids (and clearly the oft left-out individuals who may be trans) is significantly higher than in their straight counterparts.

The conversation is barely had and children like 15-year-old Dominic Crouch, who was labelled gay for kissing a boy and threw himself off a building, and a 14-year-old and his mother I met in north Wales who had his teeth kicked out (a teacher had her arm broken trying to defend him) continue to suffer.

Rightwingers such as Toby Young attack school initiatives such as a Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Week designed to help teach children that some people are gay and that that's OK. At Attitude magazine, of which I'm editor, I asked Young to meet the mother of Dominic and the kid who'd been attacked so much he wouldn't eat in the school lunch hall, but he told me he was too busy. He also stated "I can assure you we don't tolerate homophobic bullying at the WLFS" (West London Free School).

And that highlights the truth about LGBT kids here all over the world: not that you can spot them a mile off, but that to parents, teachers and the whole of society, they and their suffering are largely invisible.