"The Promise of Love..."

In many respects, I've lived a quite remarkable life. I've never wanted for much... except for love. In the course of my life, I thought I found it more than once and I gave my all to it every time only to find that I was wrong... I came to know that no one can truly love who lives their life in fear, because "fear eats the soul."

I spent last summer recounting the "Loves of my life" and as I went down the short list of names, I realized that each had been loved by me more intensely, more profoundly and more completely than they had loved or tried to love me. I realized that that imbalance... the putting of "the other" "first in your life", when they cannot or will not put you "first" in their's was the source of all my unhappiness. It was in fact my dear friend Mark who helped me to see and understand this clearly. And it was Mark who encouraged me to seek love in a new way... as an equal, someone to love and to be loved.

My friend Mark will soon be the "Best Man" at my upcoming wedding. I took his advice to heart, and to my surprise, while at perhaps the lowest point in my life, I somehow found love again. And that love has restored my wounded heart and instilled in my soul a renewed hope for joy and a desire for living life again.

I've found that someone who puts me first in his life, in the same way that I put him first in mine. Though we lived just a few miles apart, we met over the ether of the internet. And as we got to know each other from a distance, a wonderful friendship blossomed and from it grew love. When finally we met after having talked for more than 70 hours by phone, I think we both immediately realized that this was something different, something that would change both our lives, not just for a day or a few months, but forever...

Last month, Eddie and I went on a little vacation to Chicago, and it was there that I asked him to marry me and be my love for time and all eternity. And although we'd talked about love and marriage a great deal before that day, when he said yes, it was still a magical moment in a life full of surprises, heartbreaks and disappointments. It was a moment of fulfillment long awaited... a day blessed by true contentment and real joy and the promise of love. Eddie and I are happy and in love, and love is enough...

Eddie and I will marry late next month in Windsor, Ontario, Canada. He is a wonderful man who truly loves me and who proves it with his every act and deed. We love each other and we make one another happy.

"A life lived in fear is a life half-lived..."