Misunderstandings Common About Gays
By Mary Holler Jeffords
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Rock Hill, SC. - As the mother of a gay son and sister of a gay brother, as a teacher of reproductive health, as the granddaughter of a Methodist minister and cousin to several Methodist ministers, and as a straight woman of eight decades plus age, these following paragraphs are an attempt to create a language for Christian church folk in the South to think carefully about the current conflict within many churches about the rights and lifestyles of gay persons. I use the word gay to refer to both male and female homosexuals.
There are two very different meanings for the word homosexual. What causes misunderstandings is when someone speaks of one meaning and a hearer thinks of the other meaning. One meaning refers to a sexual act between persons of the same sex. These persons can be homosexual persons or heterosexual persons. The second definition refers to a person. A homosexual person is a person who has an innate tendency to be attracted to a person of the same sex. The opposite of this is a heterosexual person, a person who has the tendency to be attracted to the opposite sex. Most people are heterosexual. It is my understanding that about 10 percent of humans are homosexual. Any act is a choice, but the innate tendency is not a choice. This is sexual orientation.
Not in Scripture
The word "homosexual" was not used in biblical Scripture until 1946 when the RSV was published. I have studied this subject extensively. I have spoken to churches and interested groups, and I have known hundreds of gays during the last 25 years. I have been surrogate mom to some whose families have turned their back on them.
My own son died of AIDS in 1992. He told me he knew he was "different" when he was 5 years old, but he didn't know how. One of my brothers, Bill, was gay. So I have experienced the "gay world" with two generations of homosexuals. My brother Bill and his friends were "closeted." Most of the older generation of gays is closeted. This is changing to a slight degree as a result of education and media exposure.
In The Old Testament in the first three books, there is constant reference to the holiness code of the Israelites. This elaborates on the rules, laws and ways they are to live. This refers to their "sins" list. Let us picture that the Israelites, readying for a journey that we call the exodus, needed some rules for the trip. The people must keep together, stay as healthy as possible, multiply, stay pure in race and not die out before they reached the Promised Land. So good old reproductive health goes into play. No seed must be wasted. No seed must be "spilled" on the ground. That doesn't make more Israelites. No seed must be wasted during menstruation. That is a waste of seed, as pregnancy cannot occur then. No sex between men (this is the "biggie") because this wastes seed that could be planted in females to create pregnancy. No masturbation, another waste of seed.
Other biblical references that can be cited are as follows:
Role of women
During these times it was not known that the woman had anything to do with reproduction. Reproduction was all the man and his seed. The woman was the ground where the seed was planted. She was only the incubator. Seed was precious. And life expectancy was short. During the time of Isaiah and the other prophets, prostitution was rampant in the temples. There were male and female prostitutes. The story of Onam in Genesis 38 tells of wasting seed and the necessity of preserving seed. Also in Genesis 38 Tamar fakes her father out on this subject.
Genesis 19:1-29 tells about the gang rape of Lot's guests and destruction of Sodom. This is a story about a group of heterosexuals threatening same-sex acts. The townspeople wanted to belittle the guests by treating them like women. Remember, women did not have the status of men. Other similar stories are in Judges 19:21-30 and Deuteronomy 23:17-26.
In Romans 1:26-29, Paul is referring to sexual acts and is addressing a heterosexual audience. No doubt Paul was unaware of the distinction between sexual orientation and sexual behavior.
A male friend, who was gay, said to try to put him with a woman would be unnatural for him. The relationships Paul describes are heavy with lust. They are not the relationships between consenting adults who are committed with integrity to each other as faithful partners. That was something Paul could not envision.
We still choose to live by certain laws or rules in the Old Testament. Some are no longer binding, including laws in the Old Testament that are not mentioned in The New Testament. What is our principle of selection here?
For example, everyone generally agrees with the Bible's rejection of rape, incest, adultery and intercourse with animals. The Bible condemns practices that we generally allow, such as celibacy, intercourse during menstruation, exogamy (marriage to a non-Jew), the naming of sexual organs, nudity under certain conditions and birth control (some Christians still forbid this.) The Bible regarded semen and menstrual blood as unclean. Today, most people do not.
The Bible permitted acts that today we condemn: polygamy, prostitution, levirate marriage, (an ancient Jewish law requiring a man to marry his brother's widow), sex with slaves or concubines, treatment of women as property and very early marriage to girls ages 11-13. The Old Testament accepts divorce, but Jesus forbade it. In the biblical references related to sexuality, Christians today appear to agree with a small percentage and disagree with most.
Living openly
Homosexual persons wish to live under the umbrella of laws and rules heterosexuals live by. Many gay persons want to live openly in monogamous relationships, including marriage. But this raises a storm in the straight community.
It is encouraging to me that more and more churches are blessing gay unions and accepting gay women and men as pastors. More and more, we are realizing that famous persons in movies and sports are gay. Are we letting homophobic attitudes within the churches and advertising take over our image of personhood? There are as many personality types of gays as there are types of straights.
Christians look to Jesus to see an image of love and caring. We are called to love one another -- homeless neighbors, Muslim neighbors, white neighbors, black neighbors, gay neighbors, Jewish neighbors, Christian neighbors, atheist neighbors, racist neighbors and addicted neighbors.
With critical and life-threatening issues in the world today such as global warming, population growth, poverty, disease, natural disasters and starvation, what will it take to put this homosexuality concern behind us and get on to the real threats to our future existence?
I believe we have the capacity to face these huge issues together and not be caught up in the fears and feeling of threats to our persons, churches and communities around the concerns about homosexuality.
By Mary Holler Jeffords
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Rock Hill, SC. - As the mother of a gay son and sister of a gay brother, as a teacher of reproductive health, as the granddaughter of a Methodist minister and cousin to several Methodist ministers, and as a straight woman of eight decades plus age, these following paragraphs are an attempt to create a language for Christian church folk in the South to think carefully about the current conflict within many churches about the rights and lifestyles of gay persons. I use the word gay to refer to both male and female homosexuals.
There are two very different meanings for the word homosexual. What causes misunderstandings is when someone speaks of one meaning and a hearer thinks of the other meaning. One meaning refers to a sexual act between persons of the same sex. These persons can be homosexual persons or heterosexual persons. The second definition refers to a person. A homosexual person is a person who has an innate tendency to be attracted to a person of the same sex. The opposite of this is a heterosexual person, a person who has the tendency to be attracted to the opposite sex. Most people are heterosexual. It is my understanding that about 10 percent of humans are homosexual. Any act is a choice, but the innate tendency is not a choice. This is sexual orientation.
Not in Scripture
The word "homosexual" was not used in biblical Scripture until 1946 when the RSV was published. I have studied this subject extensively. I have spoken to churches and interested groups, and I have known hundreds of gays during the last 25 years. I have been surrogate mom to some whose families have turned their back on them.
My own son died of AIDS in 1992. He told me he knew he was "different" when he was 5 years old, but he didn't know how. One of my brothers, Bill, was gay. So I have experienced the "gay world" with two generations of homosexuals. My brother Bill and his friends were "closeted." Most of the older generation of gays is closeted. This is changing to a slight degree as a result of education and media exposure.
In The Old Testament in the first three books, there is constant reference to the holiness code of the Israelites. This elaborates on the rules, laws and ways they are to live. This refers to their "sins" list. Let us picture that the Israelites, readying for a journey that we call the exodus, needed some rules for the trip. The people must keep together, stay as healthy as possible, multiply, stay pure in race and not die out before they reached the Promised Land. So good old reproductive health goes into play. No seed must be wasted. No seed must be "spilled" on the ground. That doesn't make more Israelites. No seed must be wasted during menstruation. That is a waste of seed, as pregnancy cannot occur then. No sex between men (this is the "biggie") because this wastes seed that could be planted in females to create pregnancy. No masturbation, another waste of seed.
Other biblical references that can be cited are as follows:
Role of women
During these times it was not known that the woman had anything to do with reproduction. Reproduction was all the man and his seed. The woman was the ground where the seed was planted. She was only the incubator. Seed was precious. And life expectancy was short. During the time of Isaiah and the other prophets, prostitution was rampant in the temples. There were male and female prostitutes. The story of Onam in Genesis 38 tells of wasting seed and the necessity of preserving seed. Also in Genesis 38 Tamar fakes her father out on this subject.
Genesis 19:1-29 tells about the gang rape of Lot's guests and destruction of Sodom. This is a story about a group of heterosexuals threatening same-sex acts. The townspeople wanted to belittle the guests by treating them like women. Remember, women did not have the status of men. Other similar stories are in Judges 19:21-30 and Deuteronomy 23:17-26.
In Romans 1:26-29, Paul is referring to sexual acts and is addressing a heterosexual audience. No doubt Paul was unaware of the distinction between sexual orientation and sexual behavior.
A male friend, who was gay, said to try to put him with a woman would be unnatural for him. The relationships Paul describes are heavy with lust. They are not the relationships between consenting adults who are committed with integrity to each other as faithful partners. That was something Paul could not envision.
We still choose to live by certain laws or rules in the Old Testament. Some are no longer binding, including laws in the Old Testament that are not mentioned in The New Testament. What is our principle of selection here?
For example, everyone generally agrees with the Bible's rejection of rape, incest, adultery and intercourse with animals. The Bible condemns practices that we generally allow, such as celibacy, intercourse during menstruation, exogamy (marriage to a non-Jew), the naming of sexual organs, nudity under certain conditions and birth control (some Christians still forbid this.) The Bible regarded semen and menstrual blood as unclean. Today, most people do not.
The Bible permitted acts that today we condemn: polygamy, prostitution, levirate marriage, (an ancient Jewish law requiring a man to marry his brother's widow), sex with slaves or concubines, treatment of women as property and very early marriage to girls ages 11-13. The Old Testament accepts divorce, but Jesus forbade it. In the biblical references related to sexuality, Christians today appear to agree with a small percentage and disagree with most.
Living openly
Homosexual persons wish to live under the umbrella of laws and rules heterosexuals live by. Many gay persons want to live openly in monogamous relationships, including marriage. But this raises a storm in the straight community.
It is encouraging to me that more and more churches are blessing gay unions and accepting gay women and men as pastors. More and more, we are realizing that famous persons in movies and sports are gay. Are we letting homophobic attitudes within the churches and advertising take over our image of personhood? There are as many personality types of gays as there are types of straights.
Christians look to Jesus to see an image of love and caring. We are called to love one another -- homeless neighbors, Muslim neighbors, white neighbors, black neighbors, gay neighbors, Jewish neighbors, Christian neighbors, atheist neighbors, racist neighbors and addicted neighbors.
With critical and life-threatening issues in the world today such as global warming, population growth, poverty, disease, natural disasters and starvation, what will it take to put this homosexuality concern behind us and get on to the real threats to our future existence?
I believe we have the capacity to face these huge issues together and not be caught up in the fears and feeling of threats to our persons, churches and communities around the concerns about homosexuality.
*******
"Fear Eats the Soul"
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