"A Change Is Gonna Come..."

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Health Insurance - Hard to believe there's a debate about this...

I was very sick for a while... That evening of September 27th, ("The Anniversary") I almost died. The funny thing is that I was looking forward to it, the dying that is.

As I lay in my sick bed that Monday, barely alive, all I could think about was the three years I've given to Stephen Christopher Harris. As an intense fever burned through me and I laid in sheets soaked and wet with my own sweat the song, "A Change Is Gonna Come" played over and over in my head. There's a line in the song that I remembered Stephen Christopher Harris seemed to particularly dislike... it goes like this,

"Its been too hard livin, but I'm afraid to die, 'cause I don't know what's up there beyond the sky..."

And as I laid in my own vomit soiled linens, cold and alone, I realized that while that line in the song is true for Stephen, its not for me... I'm not at all afraid to die. I'm not afraid to live either... and that's what made me able to share with Stephen Christopher Harris all that I had. I've been fearless in loving him.

He complained of being sick often, although I don't think he really knows what it is to be sick. He visits the doctor often for the most trivial of complaints. But my love for him wanted all his desires to be fulfilled, so I made that possible for him too.

I got better on my own, no doctors, no pills, no tests, no fears... unlike Stephen, I had no choice.

"Fear Eats the Soul"