"The Truth Tonight..."

It'll soon be 3 a.m., I haven't been able to sleep, the pain's been keeping me awake all night. As I lay here alone and weary, I'm remembering all Stephen's promises and in so doing remembered this...

One morning nearly three years ago, we were in bed in each others arms discussing "life, the universe and everything" and our conversation turned to music and I shared with him that I had loved the music of "Roger Whittaker" since I was but a young boy... He responded as many have -- he didn't know of him. Although Roger Whittaker is quite famous around the world, he's not well known in the U.S.

Roger Whittaker is 73 years old now, and he's still performing throughout the world, but I've never seen him in person... That morning, as Stephen and I talked about this, I explained to him that I'd been waiting to see Roger Whittaker with someone I loved, he sings love songs... I told him that really, Roger Whittaker is the only performer I'd ever wanted to see live and in person. To which he said, he'd take me to see him someday. I asked if that was a promise, and he said it was.

Now as I pray for sleep to come, I also pray that as I listen to this song, perhaps in my dreams, Stephen and I are there in the audience...

Both Sides Now
Written by Joni Mitchell

Bows and flows of angel hair and ice cream castles in the air
And feather canyons everywhere, I’ve looked at clouds that way.
But now they only block the sun, they rain and snow on everyone.
So many things I would have done but clouds got in my way.

I’ve looked at clouds from both sides now,
From up and down, and still somehow
It’s cloud illusions I recall.
I really don’t know clouds at all.

Moons and Junes and ferris wheels, the dizzy dancing way you feel
As every fairy tale comes real; I’ve looked at love that way.
But now it’s just another show. you leave ’em laughing when you go
And if you care, don’t let them know, don’t give yourself away.

I’ve looked at love from both sides now,
From give and take, and still somehow
It’s love’s illusions I recall.
I really don’t know love at all.

Tears and fears and feeling proud to say I love you right out loud,
Dreams and schemes and circus crowds, I’ve looked at life that way.
But now old friends are acting strange, they shake their heads, they say I’ve changed.
But something’s lost and something’s gained in living every day.

I’ve looked at life from both sides now,
From win and lose, and still somehow
It’s life’s illusions I recall.
I really don’t know life at all.


"For Stephen Christopher Harris, because he promised"