I'm just home for a little while after spending the last 15 hours at my husband's hospital bedside. Edward hasn't been feeling well for about 2 months. When he finally went to see a doctor about a month ago, the diagnosis was pretty straightforward and was supposed to be cleared up with a couple of prescriptions.
The medications helped and Eddie and I saw almost an instant improvement in his health, but after a week or so, the symptoms began to creep back and then they became chronic. Like most men our age, Eddie was hesitant to seek out further medical treatment. But I had insisted and so Eddie had an appointment to see his doctor later this week. But last night, Eddie woke me saying he thought he need to go to the emergency room. When I turned on the lamp on the bedside table, I could see he was right. Eddie was pale and ashen and was struggling to breathe. I quickly got the car out of the garage and helped him to get in and then off to the hospital we went. Deciding which hospital though was a bit of a quandary.
Detroit has many world-class hospitals to choose from, but like most cities in the U.S., many of them are religiously sponsored institutions. Detroit's Catholic sponsored hospitals are among some of the best anywhere. But, despite holding themselves out as public accommodations serving the public good, being under the active control of the Catholic church it has not be unheard of in the past for these hospitals to refuse certain services that don't meet with the church's doctrine and teachings (abortions/family planning services, etc). However, since Edward's doctor is on staff at one of the largest and best of Detroit's Catholic hospitals, we decided to go there and hope that we would be treated as a married couple and that I would be afforded the same rights as any other spouse of a patient.
When we got to the emergency room entrance, Eddie said he felt well enough to walk in with me. So after passing through the security screening, when we got to the desk, I realized that I was answering all the intake questions, you know... date of birth, SSN, symptoms, duration, etc. Finally the woman working at the desk asked, "Who are you to the patient?" And without any hesitation, I said, "I'm his husband." I was relieved and surprised when she simply said, "Ok, well be sure to list yourself as next of kin and also sign with him on the consent to treatment form." And with that, our first "coming out" of the night was completely uneventful.
Edward was admitted to the hospital this afternoon and will probably be staying for 2-3 days. There were a few more "coming out" moments during our 15 hours in the Emergency Room. And although we had to answer the "Who are you?" questions a few more times for doctors and nurses who were treating him, Edward and I never got the feeling that anyone was treating us any differently than any other couple. I was surprised that I was invited to stay by his side the entire time he was in the Emergency Room and that the doctors and nurses were all very accommodating and expressed genuine interest in and respect for our marriage.
I am home for just an hour or two now to gather some things Eddie wanted and then I'll go back and sit with him until visiting hours end. I can definitely say that so far, I'm very pleased with the way the hospital has responded to and respected us as a married couple. I thank President Obama for helping to ensure that this is now a reasonable expectation through his Executive Order granting same-sex spouses and partners visitation rights. As I sat and watched over Eddie, I contemplated how it's in the little ways and the big ones too that everyday, I'm a witness to how much the world has changed for us.
"Fear Eats the Soul"
I'll likely put up fewer posts until Edward is better and home from the hospital, so please go back and enjoy some of the thousands of previous entries that tell the truth of being same-gender-loving.
Some of my favorite posts:
"A Song About The Moon..." "The Imitation Of Life..."
"The Poet's Corner..." "Same Gender Loving People - No. 1708"
"The Truth About Love..." "The Poet's Corner..."
"This Is A Love Song..." "The Truth About Being Gay And Black In America..."
"Love And Life's Journeys..." "This Made Me Smile..."
"Gay PDA Is Okay!" "A Thought To Ponder..."
"This Is A Love Song..." "I Am Always Remembering..."
"A Song About The Moon..." "The Imitation Of Life..."
"The Poet's Corner..." "Same Gender Loving People - No. 1708"
"The Truth About Love..." "The Poet's Corner..."
"This Is A Love Song..." "The Truth About Being Gay And Black In America..."
"Love And Life's Journeys..." "This Made Me Smile..."
"Gay PDA Is Okay!" "A Thought To Ponder..."
"This Is A Love Song..." "I Am Always Remembering..."
Or for a treat, click on one of the labels below to see a collection of posts sharing something in common:
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