Showing posts with label "The Things That Love Says...". Show all posts
Showing posts with label "The Things That Love Says...". Show all posts

Thursday, September 25, 2014

"The Truth About Love..."

"Fear Eats the Soul"

"The Things Love Say... And Does"


Adrian Garcia
September 24, 2014

An adorable German boyfriend surprised his partner with a romantic airport reunion on their two-year anniversary.

Matthias handed out a bucket of red roses to passengers at Berlin’s Tegel Airport, and asked them to give them to his unsuspecting boyfriend, Dominic, upon his arrival.

Matthias writes:
Since I spent most of our second anniversary in Austria and in the air, I've been thinking a special surprise for the arrival at Berlin’s Tegel airport for my boyfriend Dominic. We thank all participants for taking part and would like to especially thank the Lufthansa crew, Rosanna and Christin!

Watch below:


"Fear Eats the Soul"

Monday, September 22, 2014

"The Poet's Corner..."

Love — thou art deep —
I cannot cross thee —
But, were there Two
Instead of One —
Rower and Yacht — some sov'reign Summer —
Who knows — but we'd reach the Sun?

Emily Dickinson

Sunday, September 21, 2014

"The Poet's Corner..."

Richard Blanco is an American poet, public speaker, author and civil engineer. The fifth poet to read at an inauguration, he was the inaugural poet for Barack Obama's second inauguration.

"Fear Eats the Soul"

Monday, September 15, 2014

"The Truth About Love..."

When you get in love you are made all over again. The person who loves you has picked you out of the great mass of uncreated clay which is humanity to make something out of, and the poor lumpish clay which is you wants to find out what it has been made into. But at the same time, you, in the act of loving somebody, become real, cease to be a part of the continuum of the uncreated clay and get the breath of life in you and rise up. So you create yourself by creating another person, who, however, has also created you, picked up the you-chunk of clay out of the mass. So there are two you's, the one you create by loving and the one the beloved creates by loving you. The farther those two you's are apart the more the world grinds and grudges on its axis. But if you loved and were loved perfectly then there wouldn't be any difference between the two you's or any distance between them. They would coincide perfectly, there would be perfect focus, as when a stereoscope gets the twin images on the card into perfect alignment.
- Robert Penn Warren

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

"The Truth About Death..."

Khalil Gibran On Death

Then Almitra spoke, saying, "We would ask now of Death."
And he said:

You would know the secret of death.
But how shall you find it unless you seek it in the heart of life?

The owl whose night-bound eyes are blind unto the day cannot unveil the mystery of light.
If you would indeed behold the spirit of death, open your heart wide unto the body of life.
For life and death are one, even as the river and the sea are one.

In the depth of your hopes and desires lies your silent knowledge of the beyond;
And like seeds dreaming beneath the snow your heart dreams of spring.
Trust the dreams, for in them is hidden the gate to eternity.

Your fear of death is but the trembling of the shepherd when he stands before the king whose hand is to be laid upon him in honour.
Is the shepherd not joyful beneath his trembling, that he shall wear the mark of the king?
Yet is he not more mindful of his trembling?

For what is it to die but to stand naked in the wind and to melt into the sun?
And what is to cease breathing, but to free the breath from its restless tides, that it may rise and expand and seek God unencumbered?

Only when you drink from the river of silence shall you indeed sing.
And when you have reached the mountain top, then you shall begin to climb.
And when the earth shall claim your limbs, then shall you truly dance.

"Fear Eats the Soul"

Sunday, September 7, 2014

"The Poet's Corner..."

Love is many things and sometimes we are never really sure if it even exists, but all I know is that if you were to show me my beloved's soul in a photograph, I wouldn't even ask to see the others.

 Christopher Poindexter

* gender pronouns have been modified from the original text

Saturday, September 6, 2014

"The Truth About Love..."

I'm An Otherwise Straight Man
(Who Fell In Love With His Best Friend)

Mike Iamele
August 21, 2014

I’ve always prided myself on being open. I’ll try any new therapy or modality or New Age idea — and, believe me, I’ve tried them all. I’ve done the self-work. I’ve “found myself.” I’ve even practiced my affirmations. I knew who I was, without a doubt.

That’s why I found myself in unfamiliar territory when I — the open guy, the “figured out” guy, the unquestionably straight guy — realized that I was in love with my best friend, a man. A man I had known for seven years. A man I had never before even thought of in a romantic way. But, there I was, in love.

Only it didn’t start out as love. See, two summers ago, I came down with a mysterious illness. Not the common cold kind. Not even the achy back kind. This was the kind where you vomit massive amounts of blood throughout the day. The kind where doctors pass you from specialist to specialist. The kind where you’re bent over in pain with tears in your eyes.

And my roommate, Garrett, one of my best friends at the time, took pity on me. He took care of me. He picked up my prescriptions from the pharmacy. He cooked me dinner. He stayed in on Friday nights to watch movies. He’d even rub my back when I was in pain.

Each day, I waited anxiously until he came home from work. My face lit up when he surprised me with my favorite dinner. I replayed conversations we had when I was alone. I missed him when he was gone.

Two months into this routine, I had a thought — a tiny, little thought — that I loved him. It seemed preposterous. It seemed laughable. I shooed it away immediately. But that thought started creeping into my mind whenever he was away. That thought sneaked in whenever he did something nice or made me laugh.

And it all came down to this moment — one moment when he was cooking me dinner, and he looked over and smiled at me. I knew this was it. This was the moment where I had to decide if I could allow myself to love a man against everything I had previously known about myself. This was the moment when I had to decide if I was going to take a step forward into this crazy idea of telling my best friend that I loved him.

There’s a certain freedom in a life-threatening sickness. There’s a certain liberation in staring down death in the face. It makes you do crazy things. It makes you unafraid to tear down the only identity you’ve ever known for a gamble. It makes you walk right up to your best friend and tell him that you love him.

So I approached him cautiously. I could hear my heart beating in my ears. I opened my mouth and no words came out. Again, I tried, and all I could say was, “Garrett, I have something to tell you.”

He looked at me earnestly.

“Garrett, I think I’m in love with you.”

His expression changed to that of confusion.

“Well, you’ve been so great and taken care of me, and I know it doesn’t make much sense. But, if I’ve ever felt love, this is it. And, well — I think I’m in love with you.”

He stopped and thought for a moment. It was a long moment. Then he opened his mouth again and asked, “Do you miss me when I’m away?”

I nodded my head slowly — uneasily.

“Do you get excited to see me?”

I nodded again, this time with a hint of uncertainty.

He looked back timidly. “Well, then I think I might love you too.”

We had no idea how to make this work. We had no idea if this even could work. Sometimes we still don’t. It took time — years even — to figure it out. But it’s a relationship. None of us know what we’re doing. We just try and negotiate and compromise. And, little by little, you become just another boring couple.

So, yes, I’m an otherwise straight man in love with a man. But I would never reduce Garrett down to just being a man. Because he’s more than that. He’s a pharmacist and a good cook and a great cards player. And I love him for all of those reasons and so many more. I love him for who he is, not what he is. We’re more than our gender. We’re more than one attribute. And sometimes we need to remember that.

We have this myth of identity — that who we are is the summation of a lot of choices we made in the past. That we’ve got a map for the life we’re supposed to lead, and we’ve got to stick to it. But that’s assuming that we’re all static beings, and that’s not how people work at all.

In every moment, we’re changing and evolving and growing. In every moment, we’re reconstructing our identity. We’re not defined by our decisions from two years ago. We’re not even defined by our decisions from two minutes ago. We’re defined by who we choose to be in this very moment.

We’ll never be “figured out.” Over the course of our lives, we’ll constantly be transforming into a more and more authentic version of ourselves. Our preferences will change. Our passions will change. And we have to be brave enough to choose the thing that makes up happiest in each individual moment.

When I chose to tell Garrett that I loved him, it didn’t matter if it didn’t fit my identity. It didn’t matter if it didn’t fit my sexuality. It just mattered if it brought me love. In truth, that’s all that ever really matters.

We’re only here for a very short time. In every moment, we only have one real choice: Will it bring me closer to or further away from love?

So, tell me — will you choose love?


I had an experience like this many years ago when I was in the military... This was before "Don't ask, don't tell" and before I ever imagined that I'd accept the truth of heart (that I was a gay man). 

I fell deeply in love with one of my roommates in service school, and when I realized what it was, I was frightened by it.  I didn't understand love (this was the first person outside of my family that I felt "love" for and as it grew stronger and more intense I believed it was wrong (based on the things I'd been taught as a child).  Unlike the author, I never allowed myself to express my love for him as anything other than "brotherly love."  But in the back of my mind, I always suspected that we both knew and understood that at least I secretly wished it was something more.

"Fear Eats the Soul"

Friday, September 5, 2014

"The Truth About How Love Happens..."

Couple of The Month: Corey & Quincey!

September 3, 2014

Meet our September Couple of the Month, Corey & Quincey! They have been together for over 5 years and recently got engaged last spring. These guys have been making their mark in Boston through their dynamic non-profit organization, The Hispanic Black Gay Coalition (! The organization is dedicated to the unique and complex needs of the Black, Hispanic and Latin@ LGBTQ community. Corey & Quincey are definitely an inspiration to us, and we congratulate them on being September’s Couple of the Month!

1. How did you guys meet?
We first met online, arranged a meet-up at a club, then began going on dinner dates every week where we learned more about our past, pain, and dreams. From there, we started to become interested in one another on a deeper level and through our romantic connection started to support each other in overcoming our pain and achieving our dreams.

2. When faced with conflict, how do you typically handle it?
We try to handle conflict by communicating, listening, and using the arguments to learn more about one another. Every conflict is a chance to learn something new about what makes the other person hurt or upset. It’s also a chance to learn something new that could help avoid a future misunderstanding or conflict. The times we have approached conflict as a learning opportunity, we have reached an understanding quicker and have grown closer in our appreciation and love for one another. It isn’t easy, but we always try to remember despite it all we love each other and that love has gotten us through tough times in the past and it has the power to get us through anything.

3. What do you think is the most important aspect of your relationship that keeps you together?
An important aspect of our relationship that keeps us together is accepting that neither one of us are “perfect.” Owning our imperfections and the vulnerabilities that come with that can bring us closer to a more perfect relationship, but we have given up on expecting the other person to always be perfect. Doing that prevents us from breaking up after every little argument or fuck up the other person may make. Instead, we try to use it as an opportunity to relate to one another more in the journey to better complement and love one another.

4. What advice would you give to a new couple?
Be patient. Take the time to truly get to know each other beyond the basic top or bottom questions ;). Communicate your needs to each other as difficult or awkward as it might be. Intentionally set time aside to be together (especially if you both are workaholics). Don’t compare yourself to other couples as you never know what is going on behind closed doors. Go at your own pace and discuss with each other the areas of your relationship you are comfortable with and the areas you want to work on together.

5. What would you say is the most challenging part of your relationship? How do you overcome it?
The most challenging part of our relationship is balancing our relationship (and disagreements) as co-founders and co-workers of the Hispanic Black Gay Coalition —an organization we are both highly invested in. Since we work together and constantly engage the LGBTQ community as part of our work, we have to be intentional in setting our work aside to focus on our growth together as a couple. We do this by not bringing the energy from our work into our home and always discussing major decisions and disagreements related to our work outside of the house. We also make time for each other by setting aside at least two evenings of our work week to be together instead of in meetings. We also plan weekend dates and trips to keep our love at the center of our connection rather than our work.

6. What would you say is the most rewarding part of your relationship? Why?
The most rewarding part of our relationship is supporting one another without judgment, being honest with each other, learning from one other, and respecting each other enough to make our decisions. It’s also rewarding to reflect on how we have grown as a couple, see how our connection have inspired others and witness the impact we have made on the world around us by working together on the things we care most about.

7. What is your stance on gay marriage?
Same-sex couples who are interested in getting married should have the same opportunity and option to do so as heterosexual couples —plain and simple. Of course, not every same-sex couple (or heterosexual couple) wants to get married, but the ability and option to do so should be available to all. It is difficult to overlook that through marriage a couple gains hundreds of legal, medical, and economic benefits, such as hospital visitation rights and tax benefits. Such benefits will play an important role in achieving our own personal, economic and professional goals. That being said, we’re privileged to live in a state that permits same-sex marriage, but marriage has never been a rallying issue for us as two activist involved in LGBTQ organizing. We see a lot of other urgent and life-threatening issues being ignored by the mainstream movement that we choose to focus on. Issues such as LGBTQ homelessness, violence against Trans women, and poverty rates among LGBTQ communities of color.


"Fear Eats the Soul"

Sunday, August 24, 2014

"The Truth About Lies..."

This Former Ex-Gay Minister Explains Why He Became A LGBT Advocate, And How

Twenty-five years after first struggling with his own sexuality and becoming involved in the ex-gay movement, Tim Rymel is an out gay man who advocates against the practice of conversion therapy by telling his story.

Tony Merevick
August 22, 2014

Over two decades ago, Tim Rymel was an evangelical minister who believed that attractions to people of the same sex could be stopped — or repaired — by religion and gay conversion therapy. Today, 25 years after first struggling with his own sexuality and becoming involved in the ex-gay movement, Rymel’s an out gay man who advocates against the practice of conversion therapy by telling his story.

“I describe myself as free,” he said in an interview with BuzzFeed. Rymel, 49, of Sacramento, Calif., condemns the ex-gay movement and gay conversion therapy — or efforts to turn gay people straight.

Rymel said his story is similar to countless other men and women who were affected by conversion therapy, and, like him, have since come to terms with the harm it caused them. He looks back on his own journey — from leaving the notorious ex-gay ministry Love in Action in 1995 so he could marry a woman and have children, and then to 2001, when he fell into a state of depression after his wife divorced him. And then for seven years he grappled with his deeply held religious beliefs and his sexuality.

“Everything changed when my wife divorced me, and as a Christian, I couldn’t figure out why that was happening because it goes against what it says in the Bible,” he said. “That was the crack in the armor of my faith. I isolated myself for seven years in depression. I had no friends, I didn’t go out, and I basically just ate my feelings away.”

Rymel later emerged to pursue an education and worked as a corporate trainer, eventually earning a bachelor’s degree in business management, and later, a master’s degree in adult education. Writing a memoir about his life — Going Gay: My Journey from Evangelical Christian Minister to Self-Acceptance, Love, Life, and Meaning — allowed him to face the shame experienced when he felt like he was a failed minister, a failed ex-gay, and a failed husband — and ultimately helped him reconcile his faith and his gay sexual orientation, he said. He remains close with his ex-wife and they split custody with their two teenage kids.

“It’s a very, very different place to be alive,” he said. “There is such a freedom to be out from under the ex-gay movement and having my mind controlled by these former beliefs that are so damaging. I’m not living under anyone’s watchful eye anymore; God is not hanging over my head.” Today he describes himself as a “truth seeker,” saying, “I’m not even sure that God exists.”

Rymel was raised in a Pentecostal home, in which he was taught to believe the Bible “is the authoritative word of God,” and that “if there’s something that goes against it, then it must be wrong. The Bible is always right,” he said. When he realized he was gay at 14, he prayed to God to change him, and ultimately joined the residency program at Love in Action in 1990, becoming the organization’s outreach director in 1991.

“At that time, I understood being gay as living a life of degradation,” he said. “It was around the time of the AIDS scare, and all I knew about homosexuality back then is that if you’re gay, you get AIDS. I was taught to believe that God was punishing those people for the degradation.” That is what he was taught.

Although many of the ministries like Love in Action, and organizations like Exodus International, that practiced conversion therapy in 1990s and 2000s have since shut down, similar efforts continue in many places across the country, according to the National Center for Lesbian Rights. The national LGBT group has launched a campaign, #BornPerfect, to grow a national movement against gay conversion therapy, which has been discredited — and warned as harmful — by leading medical and psychological associations, such as the American Psychological Association.

“You would never send someone to a doctor and put leeches on them because you know it doesn’t work physically,” he said. “So if we know conversion therapy doesn’t work, why would we do that to someone mentally?”

Rymel was among nine former ex-gay leaders to sign onto a letter issued by NCLR condemning conversion therapy as harmful, particularly to minors, on July 31. Currently, conversion therapy for minors is prohibited in California and New Jersey. Other states like Illinois and New York have attempted to enact similar laws, but they failed during recent legislative sessions. Advocates anticipate similar legislation will be proposed in more states when lawmakers return for new legislative sessions next year.

With this, Rymel said he’d like to think that things are getting better for LGBT youth who struggle with their sexual orientation or gender identity. He’s working on another book telling the stories of other gay men who were affected by conversion therapy decades ago, who share a similar story.

“I think people are learning more and know more now, but there is still a lot of work to do,” he said. “This does have to stop and this is a fight worth fighting.”


The same God who gives us brown eyes or blue, gives us our sexual orientation... While you can certainly control how you express your sexual attractions, you can't change the fact that they are what they are...

"Fear Eats the Soul"

Thursday, August 21, 2014

"The Things That Love Says..."

30 Positive Affirmations That Your Husband/Partner/Boyfriend Would Love to Hear
Life can be so hectic at times, and I know I often find that at the end of the day I can be so caught up in errands, chores, and the like that I have to remind myself to take the time and thank my husband for all the amazing little and not so little things he does each day.  Here is a list of some of my favorite things to say to my husband that I wanted to share.

1) Thanks for being a great husband!

2) I’m glad you’re my best friend.

3) I really appreciate you.

4) When you listened to me, you made me feel loved.

5) You are my man!

6) You are my protector.

7) I respect you so much.

8) You’re an excellent provider.

9) I love being with you.

10) You’re so smart.

11) Thank you, that was really kind.

12) You’re so strong.

13) You’re a hard worker.

14) You know how to make me happy!

15) I love your sense of humor.

16) Thank you for thinking of me.

17) I’ll always stand by your side.

18) Thanks for all you do around the house.

19) You are one handsome man.

20) I’ve learned so much from you.

21) I’m a better man because you’re my husband. I mean that.

22) I want to grow old with you.

23) You’re a great kisser.

24) Thank you for caring how I feel.

25) There’s no one like you.

26) The hard times don’t matter – I’m with you.

27) I wouldn’t trade my life with you for anything.

28) You look so handsome this evening!

29) Being with you is my favorite place to be.

30) Do you know how much I love you?

Bonus affirmation: I hope you slept well last night because I was thinking we’d stay up a little later tonight!

"Fear Eats the Soul"

Sunday, August 17, 2014

"A New Musical Truth..."

All the world loves a love song, and if the truth be told,
every song is a love song...

As a gay man, I've always been able to identify with heteronormitive songs and ignore the gender pronouns that don't really represent the truth of my heart.  But now, there is an entire genre of music that speaks directly to the reality of our hearts.  It's our new musical truth, and I love it

"Fear Eats the Soul"


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