"Our's was a shipboard romance that you could see was love..."
Saturday, August 30, 2014
"The Long Hot 'Gay' Summer... Part 2"
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| A scene from the 1958 film, 'The Long Hot Summer' |
August 29, 2014
Detroit — Police have arrested a man who allegedly shot his partner, burned down their house to hide the evidence, and then shot two transgender women near Palmer Park.
The suspect, identified by police as Edwardo Ross, allegedly shot his 42-year-old partner, James Foxhall, in their Detroit home on Aug. 15, Assistant Detroit Police Chief Steve Dolunt said.
“He dumped the body in Palmer Park, then torched the house to hide the evidence,” Dolunt said.
Within the next few days, two transgender women were shot in the same area. The shootings occurred late at night, and both women survived.
Police chased Ross after the most recent shooting, Dolunt said. “He flipped his car and ran away. We found his gun in the car.”
The man checked into a hospital for treatment, and later checked into a mental hospital in Macomb County, where he was arrested, Dolunt said.
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Detroit's Palmer Park was once the city's most notorious cruising ground for gay men. In recent years the area has seen rapidly increasing property values as revitalized interest from new Detroiters moving into the beautiful apartment buildings that surround the park and which are part of the Palmer Park Historic Apartment District has brought new residents of all kinds to the area. Palmer Park is the site of Detroit's annual black gay pride, "Hotter Than July".
And then there is this story from earlier this week:
Aug 27, 2014
DETROIT (WJBK) - Prevost Street in Detroit is usually a dumping ground for trash, stripped cars and tossed tires has now been cleaned.
James Lawson and his husband Theodore Washington say the mayor's office has been helpful in removing more than 40 loads of trash, putting up new street lights and cleaning the streets.
But the two say, despite their efforts to clean up the city they love, their mail carrier refuses to deliver to their residence because they have the only house on the street. They say they haven't received mail in three weeks after they received a notice their mail was suspended permanently.
Not receiving the mail is dangerous for Lawson because he has cancer and is not always getting his medication and is beginning to miss doctor appointments.
They say when their street was covered in garbage they still received their mail, and say that the mail still gets delivered everywhere but their home.
A notice from the post office states the tires blocking one entrance of the street that the couple uses to block illegal dumpers also dumps the mail carrier's regular route. But the couple says dump trucks, nurses and doctors never have a problem getting through. The couple says they even removed the tires for two weeks but still didn't receive mail.
The couple says when they called the post office they were asked "to move."
The couple says the moment their mail carrier discovered they were gay, the mail stopped coming. They say the mail carrier has also made derogatory comments to their neighbors.
U.S. Postal Service says alleged comments like that will not be tolerated. It has launched an investigation and promised to come out and take another look at the street.
Here is the story as reported on Detroit television:
Fox 2 News Headlines
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The excuse of 'the state of the street' is terribly convenient, but I suspect this couple has it right when they say they've been targeted because they are a gay couple. Sadly, Detroit has hundreds if not thousands of situations like James and Theodore's, and yet the post office manages to deliver to them with no problem.
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| A view from the air of a depopulated section of Detroit (click to enlarge) |
The Long Hot 'Gay' Summer Continues
"Fear Eats the Soul"
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"The Truth About Who We Are..."
by thegaymenproject |
photos by Kevin Truong
Flavio, in his own words: "Wow... tough one this first question...I guess that being gay means being normal, just like being straight. Of course that being gay in today's world means that you are very likely to face a few challenges that, in theory, straight people wouldn't face. But I truly don't feel different just because I'm a man who likes men. I guess I used to feel different when I was younger, but, to be honest, looking back now, I actually believe that this feeling doesn't necessarily have to do with being gay - I'm just a bit like a fish out of water in the way I behave, think, etc. Yes, being gay might have played a part in this as it meant feeling awkward when I was a kid/teenager but, truth be told, if it wasn't for the bullying, the awkwardness probably would not have any sort of link with my sexual orientation.
On one hand, yes, being gay means that you are a part of a smaller group in today's society and therefore it'd be naive to believe that people would treat you like they treat everyone else. Humans tend to respond to everything that is "different" in a very peculiar way (aggressive and negative at most times, unfortunately). But, on the other hand, I couldn't think of a better time to "be gay" (if that makes sense). We're not coming out as a group, we are out already. And we have a lot of respect from a lot of people, exactly because they recognize what a battle we had to go through to stand where we are. If we still have a lot to "conquer" in terms of respect, understanding and civil rights? Hell yeah. I speak as a Brazilian gay who comes from a very open minded family. But I know it's a completely different story in other places, even in my country. But then I'm just being as positive as I can: I'm looking to the glass and I'm thinking it is half full, and not half empty. It will take ages for society to make it a full glass and for everyone to truly accept that not every man desires a woman, but I remember when my generation (at least in Brasil) came out when we were teenagers and what a nightmare that was generally. I have friends that really went through a living hell in their parents' houses. And I'm not saying that nowadays is an easy thing to do, but we progressed so, so much. 10-15 years ago it was a completely different story.
In terms of challenges, I'm happy to say that the only big "problem" I had for being gay was the fact that I was quite bullied at school. And what an irony: I didn't even know that I was gay. Kids can be horrible... But a lot of children go through bullying and of course it's not always because they're gay. So maybe I would have suffered from this situation anyway, even If I wasn't a homossexual. I like to believe that I did quite well for someone who really had a disgusting experience at school for such a long period of time (I remember being called nasty things even after high school). I tend to be a bit aggressive, which is a negative aspect of my personality, but it's how I managed to "survive" and it must be said that this fierceness has helped me so much in so many fields of my life. So no, I wouldn't change any of the things I went through as a little boy. The cliche is true: what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right? I know people that are still dealing with these demons from their childhoods, but I think I already overcame this in a healthy way: I don't hate people, children, men, society, etc etc. I am very aware of the cruelty that exists in the world, but this perception has only made me more sensitive to the ones that are outcasts in society. I'd say that's my real success in terms of being gay: the awareness and sensibility towards the others
The gay community in São Paulo is quite diverse at the moment. I think there's a little treat for everyone... Of course there's the typical "gay scene" that kinda looks like "Queer as Folk", but then there's the hipster scenario, the fancy gays, etc etc. We do have the biggest Gay Parade in the world, but I don't think most of us are what you would expect from a militant, you know? The parade is just one big crazy day for everyone really... Our community is very Grindr/Tinder-driven at the moment, but very hypocritical when it comes to being open about promiscuous sex. Maybe it is a brazilian thing... we have naked people in tv adverts, soap operas, etc, but we're still a very conservative country somehow. I lived in London for 3 years and I remember being surprised with the way gay man would live their sexual lives. Even in the clubbing scene: it is ok for a man to go to a kinky club in Europe. Here in Brasil it's something you probably wouldn't do or wouldn't share, even with some of your closest friends. It's seems silly to me...
Coming out wasn’t a big thing for me. I mean: it did take me ages to do so. I was 19 when I first told a dear friend of mine, who was out already. But once I did it, I just felt free (I guess that’s what most gay man experience, right?) and ended up telling everyone one, including my family and they were quite supportive I’d say. I had never kissed anyone before that (not even a girl), so I guess the biggest problem I had wasn't being gay, but being a complete weirdo in that sense. Obviously coming out opened doors and possibilities and it didn't take a lot of time for me to eventually snog someone. Yes, it was a man I think that if I had not gone through bullying at school, coming out could have happened earlier... but who knows??? Maybe the fact that kids used to call me "gay" helped me realise that they were right after all... those bitches... lol...
If I could give an advice to myself before I came out I'd say: you know you are an amazing person behind this big fear of yours, so be brave and show the world and yourself how strong you can be, otherwise you'll never truly be "complete". It doesn't have to do with being gay and hooking up with other man, though that's a big part of it and quite pleasurable... It has to do with being yourself entirely and letting go of the worst fear of them all: the fear of being happy
ps. let us not forget that that's what the word "gay" means."
******
"Fear Eats the Soul"
Friday, August 29, 2014
"And The Truth Shall Set You Free..."
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Sailor Mauricio Ruiz fronts the cameras at the press conference
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24-year-old sailor Mauricio Ruiz has come out as gay on national television in front of a television conference and says he has the full support of his superiors
August 28, 2014
24-year-old Mauricio Ruiz has become the first member of Chile’s armed forces to come out publicly as gay, revealing his identity Wednesday at a press conference organized by Chilean LGBTI rights group Movement for Homosexual Integration and Liberation (MOVILH).
Ruiz, a member of the Chilean Navy told the press conference that, as a gay man in the armed forces, he had ‘no reason to hide.’
‘We can do anything, be marines or in any branch [of the armed forces,]’ Ruiz told reporters at the MOVILH headquarters in Santiago, ‘We can do whatever profession, and we deserve as much respect as anyone else.’
‘In life there's nothing better than to be yourself, to be authentic, to look at people in the eye and for those people to know who you are.’
Ruiz said he was doing so with the full support of his superiors and that coming out had improved his performance on the job.
‘Personally, I hope that this is a contribution to non-discrimination in my society,’ Ruiz said.
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The press conference was attended by a member of Chile’s Defense Committee of the Chamber of Deputies to show its support and representatives from several European embassies also attended.
MOVILH praised Ruiz’ decision to come out and the Chilean Navy’s engagement with the group over that process in a statement.
‘Today is a historic day, where a brave young man who applaud standing, has earned a place in the heart of every person who values and fight for equality,’ the statement read.
‘Today we are also witnessing the Navy … giving a signal against homophobia … by enabling one of their own make public their sexual orientation. We are excited about this unprecedented progress and grateful for the confidence placed in MOVILH.’
A smiling Mauricio Ruiz at the news conference in which he publicly announced that he is a
gay member of the Chilean Military.
A confident Mauricio Ruiz answers questions during the press conference.
Mauricio Ruiz (L) and his boyfriend Jorge Velasquez (R) pose for a photographs after a press conference in Santiago, on August 27, 2014. Ruiz is the first Chilean military member to come out publicly with the authorization of the Navy, to be homosexual.
Freedom To Love
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"Fear Eats the Soul"
"Selfie Love..."
"Selfie Love" - those beautiful, grainy, out-of-focus self-pics that capture the truth of true love...
"The Truth About Who We Are..."
by thegaymenproject |
photos by Kevin Truong
Erik, in his own words: "What does being gay mean to me? I feel if I do not give some philosophical answer I will not win Mr. Gay America! With all joking aside, it is more about an acceptance of one's self rather than the acceptance most gay men look for from family, friends, or society. When I wakeup each morning I feel happy to be me and am ready to live this charmed life I have been blessed with. Most people, gay or straight, are not able to do that, because they have not accepted the fact that each of us has a charge and higher calling in life.
Life itself is the greatest challenge of all and it is the one challenge we all must face, but each of us yield an infinite amount of paths to the finish. My greatest challenge is myself! I would say I am a very independent, honest, and caring person. When it comes to the subject of dating and relationships I seem to dismiss these qualities in potential partners."
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"Fear Eats the Soul"
"The Truth About What The World Needs Now..."
WE NEED MORE GAY SEX ON TV
BY: DANIEL REYNOLDS
8.25.2014
Today marks the 66th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards, and, judging by the nominations, it’s been a banner year for LGBT representation on scripted television. Among the honored characters are a bisexual vice president (Kevin Spacey on Netflix’s House of Cards), a gay police chief (Andre Braugher on Fox’s Brooklyn Nine-Nine), a closeted university provost (Beau Bridges on Showtime’s Masters of Sex), a gay dad (Jesse Tyler Ferguson on ABC’s Modern Family), a host of HIV activists (Matt Bomer, Mark Ruffalo, and Joe Mantello on HBO’s The Normal Heart), and a prison full of lesbian, bisexual, transgender, and questioning female inmates (Taylor Schilling, Natasha Lyonne, Uzo Aduba, and Laverne Cox, who also became the first trans actress to ever receive an Emmy nomination, on Orange Is the New Black).
As encouraging as these nominations are for the state of quality in LGBT representation in media, there is “room for improvement,” as GLAAD’s Wilson Cruz said in response to the media advocacy’s organization report Where We Are on TV. According to GLAAD, the 2013-2014 television season actually included fewer LGBT series regulars on scripted primetime shows from the previous year (3.3 percent, as compared to the record-breaking 4.4 percent of last season).
But the real omission isn't in whether LGBT characters exist, it's in letting them live full lives. Truly well-rounded, three-dimensional representations necessitate having gay characters whose sex lives have not been omitted or cast in a shameful light.
The problem isn't universal. For lesbians and bisexual women on TV, sex lives have never been healthier, according to Tracy Gilchrist, editor in chief of the women’s entertainment news site SheWired (a sister site of The Advocate). She points to shows likePretty Little Liars, The Fosters, andGrey’s Anatomy as gold standards for showing fully realized gay women.
“We’re in a great place,” Gilchrist diagnoses. “A few years ago, all we had was The L Word, and that was the exception. But today, everyone’s taking steps in the right direction.”
But progress is moving slower on the other side of the gender divide. Outside of premium cable and streaming services like Netflix, sexual acts between two men are few and far between. Any gay couples that exist tend to be neutered, as in the case of ABC’s Modern Family.
Though hailed for its popular gay couple Mitch and Cam, the show never really explores their sexual attraction to one another. Their first televised kiss barely amounted to a peck and only came after the arrival of their adopted daughter in September 2010. The next notable smooch would come nearly four years later at their wedding. Modern Family is far from explicit in any of its main characters' bedrooms. Still, by contrast, straight couples on the show have varied stories that deal with spicing things up in the bedroom or fear of getting caught in the act by their children.
While it represented a milestone in gay representation on TV, NBC’sThe New Normal, which centered on a gay couple and their surrogate, also oversimplified the bedroom. The couple, played by Andrew Rannells and Justin Bartha, kissed frequently enough that there was no big outcry over a lack of PDA — as was the case with Modern Family.But when the pair leaned in for a kiss good-night, it was across a bed that approximated the width of the Bering Sea, calling to mind the television code that kept Lucy and Ricky in separate beds in the 1950s.
This pussyfooting around the portrayal of gay men’s sex lives is rooted in a “crisis of masculinity,” Gilchrist maintains. The fear of the ick factor and its potential to scare away straight male viewer, influences how writers and showrunners depict these relationships, if it all.
The problem isn't only on television, it's even in film, where maybe it's worse. Director Steven Soderbergh saidlast year that his Liberace biopic, Behind the Candelabra, had to air on HBO because film studios rejected it for being "too gay." In a more recent example, take Love Is Strange, which released this weekend in select cities. The touching romantic drama tells the story of a longtime couple — played by John Lithgow and Alfred Molina — as they cope with the repercussions of getting married when it becomes legal in New York. It shows mild cuddling and swearing at best, and yet received an R rating from the Motion Picture Association of America.
The film’s director, Ira Sachs, pointed to the double standard still held to gay portrayals in a recent interview with The Advocate.
“I saw most of the R-rated movies of the 1970s in their first run," said Sachs. "My parents were divorced, and like many kids of the times, my dad would take us on Saturdays to see movies like Death Wish, Dressed to Kill,and The Godfather. I have a strong feeling that many of those same people — mostly men — are still on the MPAA board today, making these arcane decisions very out of step with our times.”
At a recent pre-Emmy Awards event hosted by the Television Academy and SAG AFTRA, the stars threw in their own recommendations for which shows could use more romantic storylines for LGBT characters. For some, the recommendations entered the realm of fantasy and wish fulfillment.
Actor and comedian Jason Stuart joked that he would be up for the challenge of portraying a gay man with a sex life on television. “I’d like to see Jason Stuart — oh, that’s me! — have a relationship with Esai Morales on a new show called Me and My Guy,” Stuart says. “And every week, at the end of the show, I get to kiss him passionately, because I love him so much. And then we could talk about political issues … in bed.”
For others, like the Emmy Award-winning actor Dan Bucatinsky, who made headlines for an oral sex scene with his character’s husband on ABC’s Scandal, Hollywood is asked to puncture the ziplock on diversity in programming that may be divided between blue and red state audiences.
“The shows that you least expect to see gay characters” are the ones most in need of a gay romance, Bucatinsky says, saying procedural dramas such as CSI, Law and Order, and NCIS could become shows “where the badasses get out of their cars and pull their guns and get the robbers and then go home to their husbands.”
Though Bucatinsky’s Scandal character was killed off, and Fox has pulled the plug on that long-standing TV bastion of queer youth coming of age known as Glee, the upcoming season looks promising. A sex scene between two men has already been teased in a trailer for ABC's How to Get Away With Murder, also created by Scandal maker Shonda Rhimes. Fox’s Empire, created by out director Lee Daniels (Precious, Lee Daniels’ The Butler), features the talents of actor Jussie Smollett, who plays the ostracized gay son of a music mogul — a role that seems ripe for sexual drama. Another Fox series, Red Band Society, tackles ableism by showing hopitalized teens who are also in the throes of young love. Moreover, they are administered by a male nurse played by Wilson Cruz, who told Xfinitythat his character was made gay “by my insistence.”
“This is GLAAD at work,” Cruz said. “We need more gay characters on TV. We need more LGBT characters of color on TV.” And his list goes on. It all leads to a day when network television reflects real stories of LGBT Americans who, in their own lives, aren't afraid to love.
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I love that our British cousins are far less sexually when it comes to depicting sex between people of the same gender... I've seen many absolutely beautiful sex scenes between gay men in mainstream British films and television (the photo at the top of the post is from "Torchwood").
Just like being open and visible has helped people to change their views of gay people in public, seeing what we do behind closed doors and the ways that we have sex and make love, and that they are just as beautiful, romantic and loving as the ways in which heterosexuals express themselves in loving relationships will help the last hateful hold-outs to see that we are just like everyone else, only human.
"Fear Eats the Soul"
"The Truth Is, This Is The Sum Of All Their Fears..."
The Hypocrisy of Gay Shower Panic
On Tuesday, NFL teams had to cut their rosters down to 75 players—one in a series of trims before the start of the regular season in September. St. Louis Rams rookieMichael Sam, the first openly gay player in the NFL, made that cut, putting him one step closer to making the team. In advance of the announcement, ESPN’sSportsCenter presented a segment checking in on how the rookie was “fitting in with his Rams teammates so far.” This is a perfectly fair question—assuming you’re talking about issues of athleticism or team camaraderie. But ESPN defined “fitting in” in far steamier—and classically homophobic—terms: How is Sam getting on in the locker room shower?
Here’s what reporter Josina Anderson’s investigation uncovered:
Another Rams defensive player told me that “Sam is respecting our space,” and that, from his perspective, he seems to think that Michael Sam is waiting to kind of take a shower as not to make his teammates feel uncomfortable, while [defensive tackle Kendall] Langford and linebacker Alec Ogletree told me that they didn’t know that specifically and also weren’t tracking that. Now while Langford told me, “Listen, I have not been in the shower at the same time as Michael Sam,” he said that there definitely could be a million reasons as to why that is. He said he could be doing extra work on the practice field, he could be riding his bike, he could be doing extra cardio. But overall Langford said he seems to be adjusting to the life in the NFL and the speed of the game.
ESPN has apologized for the segment, rightly acknowledging that it “failed to meet the standards we have set in reporting on LGBT-related topics in sports.” But before we write this off as a gaffe, it’s worth thinking about why the “shower panic” trope continues to plague tiled rooms from the NFL to your local gym in an age when other ancient gay stereotypes—they’re all pedophiles, sissies, etc.—have faded in all but the most prejudiced of circles.
Even absent openly gay co-bathers, communal showers have always been fraught places for straight men. They’ve historically been a troubled spot for integration—Jackie Robinson, the first black major league baseball player,was reportedly hesitant to showerwith the Dodgers until another outsider teammate convinced him to join in. Also, as David Fleming explains in hisexcellent ESPN The Magazine feature“Nothing to See Here,” sports showers represent an intensely “vulnerable state” for men who are defined by masculinity: “[I]t conjures, for some, a range of emotions: their most awkward memories (middle school gym class), deepest insecurities (size), purest symbolism (baptism) and most ignorant defense mechanisms (homophobia).” Anyone who has spent time under the nozzle can attest that these anxieties are often exorcized through horseplay and joking, certain forms of which depend on a mild form of gay panic for their humor: If everyone is on some level afraid of homoerotic contact, a performative slap on the ass is a quick means of defusing the tension.
Fleming reports that locker room joking has become less overtly homophobic in recent years, but statements like that from former New Orleans Saints linebacker Jonathan Vilma—“Imagine if [there’s a gay guy] next to me … and it just so happens he looks at me. How am I supposed to respond?"—prove that when soaping up, some straight men still fear the gay gaze. Never mind that, as former NFL cornerback Wade Davis admits in the Fleming piece, straight men have already made a pastime of sizing up each other’s equipment. Given that openly gay men are a truly new phenomenon in the shower, let’s take Vilma’s question seriously: Are straight men right to be afraid?
The majority of responses to this question have taken an overcompensating “come on, guy!” approach that insists a gay man could never be attracted to his straight shower pals enough to sneak a look. (Meanwhile, locker room showers remain an ur-scenario of gay porn, and gay teenagers continue to choose body odor over the risk of post-P.E. erections.)
Michael Sam.
Reasons offered for this desexualizing, apologetic claim range from the grossness of the venue, to feelings of fraternity among teammates, to the notion that gay guys just don’t find straight guys alluring. Each of these may or may not be true depending on the gay man in question (though the last is particularly suspect); but it’s the “don’t be silly, man” response’s larger aim—to coddle the apparently fragile sensibilities of straight men—that I find troubling.
The truth is, it is within the realm of possibility that a gay man might be physically attracted to a straight man, and he might even steal a glance at that man’s body—perhaps unconsciously, perhaps on purpose. Either way, this does not make him a bad person or render him in violation of some kind of gay-straight peace accord; in fact, it merely means that he is a human being expressing sexual attraction in a way that our culture authorizes straight men (and increasingly women) to do as a matter of course. It is a particularly noxious expression of male privilege for a straight man to insist that he not be an object of desire while he sees no problem with passively enjoying a cheerleader’s acrobatics or a female colleague’s flattering blouse. And it is exceedingly homophobic to demand that a gay man downplay, police, or actively “cover” the most harmless sort of sexual expression simply to preserve a straight guy’s precarious sense of his masculinity.
Of course, this is not to say that gay men should go out of their way to make their straight gym buddies uncomfortable: In the context of sports, the locker room is a kind of office, and players like Sam should conduct themselves with professionalism. (By all accounts, he has been doing so.) Similarly, a mixed gym is public space, and behavior there should hew to the platonic side of things. (Gay gyms are a different ball game.)
But we do not expect straight people to become non-sexual beings at work or in public; we merely require that they have the good sense and self-control to avoid overtly expressing sexual desire in spaces where it is inappropriate. Real equality requires the same treatment for gay people. Sexual harassment is sexual harassment regardless of gender, but the almost involuntary act of noticing an attractive member of the sex(es) to which you are drawn is not a crime.
To act otherwise when gay people are in the room is the definition of a double-standard. But then, gay trailblazers like Sam are all too familiar with that kind of thing. As Christopher Glazek puts it in an Out Magazine profile of the athlete, “[H]e has had to walk prouder, play harder, earn less, and allow himself to be fumbled around as the media's football in a way unknown to the vast majority of his comparatively anonymous peers.” You can add putting up with the simultaneous policing of his sexuality and questioning of his professionalism to that list, all because some straight guys aren’t so comfortable with gayness when it comes wrapped in a living, breathing, and yeah, sometimes desiring body. But they’ll have to get over it—those bodies need showers, too.
Reasons offered for this desexualizing, apologetic claim range from the grossness of the venue, to feelings of fraternity among teammates, to the notion that gay guys just don’t find straight guys alluring. Each of these may or may not be true depending on the gay man in question (though the last is particularly suspect); but it’s the “don’t be silly, man” response’s larger aim—to coddle the apparently fragile sensibilities of straight men—that I find troubling.
The truth is, it is within the realm of possibility that a gay man might be physically attracted to a straight man, and he might even steal a glance at that man’s body—perhaps unconsciously, perhaps on purpose. Either way, this does not make him a bad person or render him in violation of some kind of gay-straight peace accord; in fact, it merely means that he is a human being expressing sexual attraction in a way that our culture authorizes straight men (and increasingly women) to do as a matter of course. It is a particularly noxious expression of male privilege for a straight man to insist that he not be an object of desire while he sees no problem with passively enjoying a cheerleader’s acrobatics or a female colleague’s flattering blouse. And it is exceedingly homophobic to demand that a gay man downplay, police, or actively “cover” the most harmless sort of sexual expression simply to preserve a straight guy’s precarious sense of his masculinity.
Of course, this is not to say that gay men should go out of their way to make their straight gym buddies uncomfortable: In the context of sports, the locker room is a kind of office, and players like Sam should conduct themselves with professionalism. (By all accounts, he has been doing so.) Similarly, a mixed gym is public space, and behavior there should hew to the platonic side of things. (Gay gyms are a different ball game.)
But we do not expect straight people to become non-sexual beings at work or in public; we merely require that they have the good sense and self-control to avoid overtly expressing sexual desire in spaces where it is inappropriate. Real equality requires the same treatment for gay people. Sexual harassment is sexual harassment regardless of gender, but the almost involuntary act of noticing an attractive member of the sex(es) to which you are drawn is not a crime.
To act otherwise when gay people are in the room is the definition of a double-standard. But then, gay trailblazers like Sam are all too familiar with that kind of thing. As Christopher Glazek puts it in an Out Magazine profile of the athlete, “[H]e has had to walk prouder, play harder, earn less, and allow himself to be fumbled around as the media's football in a way unknown to the vast majority of his comparatively anonymous peers.” You can add putting up with the simultaneous policing of his sexuality and questioning of his professionalism to that list, all because some straight guys aren’t so comfortable with gayness when it comes wrapped in a living, breathing, and yeah, sometimes desiring body. But they’ll have to get over it—those bodies need showers, too.
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Here is a good point...What about a gay man's fears in the locker room...?
Surrounded by hypersexualized masculine men who are almost expected to be homophobic, what gay man would not feel uncomfortable?
I think Michael Sam has handled his trailblazing entrance into the world of professional football as an openly gay man exceptionally well.
"Fear Eats the Soul"
"The Truth About The Promise Of Love..."
Gay Polish Couple In Alternative 'Wedding'
A gay Polish couple has had their own self-styled wedding in Krakow in the company of family and friends.
August 28, 2014
The couple had waited for seven years for a law on civil partnerships, and in the end the two men decided to take the matter into their own hands.
The partners have signed legal documents to the effect that they have a double-barrelled surname, combining their former surnames.
Architects Marek Idziak-Sepkowski and Jedrzej Idziak-Sepkowski are partners in the same firm, and they have also signed legal deeds confirming that each is set to inherit the other's entire assets.
Both men's parents signed documents waiving their own inheritance rights.
“The signing of the contract by our parents is in itself an act of blessing and a recognition of our relationship,” the pair wrote on their Facebook profile.
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| Guests at the wedding reception |
“This shows how much a law [on civil partnerships] is needed, because this is not the the first couple to have had a 'wedding,'” said Yga Kostrzewa from the Warsaw-based Lambda Association, which provides support to members of the LGBT community.
“Similar ceremonies have been held,” she added.
However, Catholic weekly Fronda has argued that the fact that the two men were legally able to change their names and sign inheritance documents showed that it is not necessary to introduce a law on civil partnerships.
Draft legislation on civil partnerships was voted down in parliament in January 2013.
Despite support from Prime Minister Donald Tusk, the issue proved divisive in his centre-right Civic Platform party, and support from Your Movement and the Democratic Left Alliance (SLD) was outweighed by conservative opposition party Law and Justice. (nh)
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And this is the truth about the promise of love...
it always finds a way, love triumphs over all.
Congratulations Marek and Jedrzej!
"Fear Eats the Soul"
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