Daniel Dobson, Son Of Prominent West Michigan Minister, Talks About Being A Gay Christian
The Grand Rapids Press
May 29, 2013
A firefight on the road to Baghdad helped give Daniel Dobson the courage to come out as a gay man.
Dobson, then 18, had been in Iraq only a few weeks when his U.S. Army gun truck came under heavy fire from al Qaeda. He froze up momentarily with fear. But he reached deep in his gut to withstand the assault, helped by a note card he’d put on the windshield. It quoted the book of Hebrews:
“The Lord has said, ‘Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.’ So we say with confidence, ‘The Lord is my helper, I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?’”
The verse had been given to him by his father, the Rev. Ed Dobson, who had turned to it often in his battle with Lou Gehrig’s disease.
While that 2004 attack was terrifying, it helped prepare Daniel for an even scarier moment almost two years ago. He stood outside his parents’ door and repeated Hebrews 13:5-6 to himself. Then he told them, “Mom, dad, I’m gay. And I still love Jesus. And nothing else changes.”
After a stunned silence, he recalls, his father said, “We still love you. And nothing else changes.”
The relief of hearing that was “absolutely huge,” says Dobson, now 28. “It almost felt like I was able to breathe again.”
It had taken him 13 years to divulge his sexual orientation to his parents. Today, Dobson feels ready to tell the rest of us.
It’s another scary step, he admits, especially for the younger son of Ed Dobson. The retired pastor of Calvary Church is one of West Michigan’s most prominent ministers and a former top aide to the late Jerry Falwell, founder of the Moral Majority. Who knows how people will react?
Whatever the reaction, speaking out is the right thing to do, says Daniel, a recent film studies graduate of Cornerstone University.
“It’s morally right for me to do it,” Daniel Dobson tells me at a Grand Rapids cafe. “I feel I have something good to contribute to the conversation, something positive.”
He wants people to know it is possible to be gay and a faithful Christian. The Bible passages often cited to condemn homosexuality don’t apply to two men or two women loving each other or gay marriage, Dobson argues.
“A lot of gays and lesbians are hurting because they don’t know it’s OK,” he adds.
Others also will offer alternative biblical perspectives in the Wealthy Theatre program. Panelists include Stephanie Sandberg, who directed the Actors Theatre production “Seven Passages: The Stories of Gay Christians”; Ruth Bell Olsson, president of the Grand Rapids Red Project for HIV/AIDS prevention and treatment; and Jim Lucas, longtime chaplain of the Gays in Faith Together support group.
The event was organized by Matthew Clark, a psychologist at Human Resource Associates. Clark, who is gay and Christian, says he regularly sees clients who struggle to reconcile their faith with what they have been told about what the Bible says.
“They’ve heard it’s a sin to be gay and that they’re going to burn in hell for it,” Clark says.
Daniel Dobson: 'A lot of gays and lesbians are hurting because they don't know it's OK.'
Clark offers them different views of biblical texts he says are widely misinterpreted. For many, it is a healing revelation.
“They get a huge burden taken off them,” Clark says. “They’re no longer feeling suicidal and depressed.”
Clark’s program follows the Boy Scouts’ decision to allow gay members and the coming out of pro athletes Jason Collins and Robbie Rogers. As in those cases, Daniel Dobson’s coming out will engender both praise and dismay.
But for Dobson, it’s a matter of personal integrity and biblical imperative.
He says he knew he was gay at age 13 but never acted on it. That seemed the wisest choice growing up in a conservative, evangelical world.
“I was thinking if I even talk about this I’m going to be ostracized, lose all my friends,” he says. “For a long time, I prayed I wouldn’t be gay.”
He kept his orientation to himself after enlisting in the Army, where he served two tours in Iraq. He loved the military -- he is still a specialist in the Army Reserve -- and did not want to jeopardize his ability to serve under the Army’s “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy then in force.
However, a near-engagement with a girl convinced him he could not live a lie. He questioned why God would make him gay and then damn him for it. But as he looked closer at the Bible, he found nothing condemning same-sex relationships between adults in the modern sense.
He finally resolved to tell his parents, Ed and Lorna, calling on the courage of combat and the assurance of God’s love.
“It came down to a matter of personal integrity for me, that I had to be honest with myself and with the world,” Dobson says.
He has learned much about integrity from seeing his father endure criticism for unpopular stands, and from hearing his mother quote biblical imperatives to do right. He also wrestled through Scripture with his brother, Kent, pastor of Mars Hill Bible Church.
All this leads him to believe it’s time to speak out, both to help needlessly suffering people and to counter hateful Christian attitudes toward gays.
“Because of what Christians say about gays and lesbians, they don’t get to share Jesus at all. They hurt the kingdom and they hurt Jesus. What they’re saying cannot possibly be led by the (Holy) Spirit.”
I’ve long admired the courage of Ed Dobson. Daniel’s decision shows the same character. I hope even those who disagree with his theology will respect his integrity.
Charley Honey is a religion columnist for MLive/The Grand Rapids Press.
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"Fear Eats the Soul"
