Tuesday, November 30, 2021
"Selfie Love..."
"Selfie Love" - those beautiful, grainy, out-of-focus self-pics that capture the truth of true love..."
"The Truth Of Love In Songs..."
He and I, we never really had a "song," but if we would've I can think of the one that came the closest to being the song I'd remember as it...
I recall us sitting to together in the Florida room, it was a crisp autumn day, and he was sitting in the chair next to the palm tree and I was sitting across from him. He was listening to music on his iPod, while reading for work and I was just gazing into the face I'd come to love as I didn't love even my self. He looked up and saw my admiring gaze and put down his work and asked me about the music I liked. I was thrilled that he wanted to know me and so I opened by laptop and played some of my favorite songs and artists for him.
He was a bit stunned that I loved Roger Whittaker and when I told him that he was probably the only artist I had any interest in seeing in concert, he said to me, "Someday, we'll see him together..." I don't think he ever realized that I had just shared with him one of the most precious desires of my heart, and that he'd just promised me a dream that I had held in my heart for all of my adult life. I played him my favorite Roger Whittaker tune and he seemed to like it too. It was a song almost as old as us, 1969's "Dirty Old Town," a song set in Salford, England that could have just as easily been about our hometown of Detroit.
I also played some songs for him that were more contemporary (at least to us at the time), and when I got to Nena's "Ninety Nine Red Balloons," we discovered one that was a youthful favorite of us both. He asked me to send him the mp3 so he could put it on his iPod. As we listened we laughed and talked of how we'd both grown up in the shadows of the cold war and how this song resonated with so many facets of our lives. He was surprised when I told him that I preferred the German language version of the song "99 Luftballons," and when I played it for him, he said he liked it better too. We both seemed so happy in that little discovery, that if I had to choose a song that we could've called "our song' this would be it. Little did we know how metaphorically this tune would come to describe our own intense relationship.
Then bravely, I shared what for me at that time had only recently become a new found love for Nina Simone... I played him the track that had introduced me to her and that had entranced me like no other recording before or since... The first time I heard it was while driving home from work late one night. At the time, this was just a few years before coming out and before meeting him and before ever dreaming that love could be real in my life. I recalled to him how I was moved to tears and I shared with him how I was so powerfully affected by her haunting performance that I had to pull off the road and how I literally shook with deep emotion as the tears streamed from my eyes while sitting in a cold, dark and empty parking lot in the middle of the night...
While telling my story of hearing "Just Like A Woman" for the first time and as I looked into his eyes, I realized that I had thrown open a window to my heart and had given him his first glimpse of the shadows that were hidden deep in the recesses of my soul and of the lonely brokenness that loving him had so magically swept away. As I played other tracks from her repertoire, I could see he felt the same connection to her music that I did. Within a week of two of that day, I would gift to him her "Baltimore" album which features the track I told him expressed my every hope and desire for us...
Whenever I hear this pleading love song, I'm reminded that his promises to me were of all these things and I remember that for a time, it was really like this.
I am always remembering, and my greatest fear is that I may not live long enough to forget...
"Fear Eats the Soul"
"Same Gender Loving People - No. 4303"
"This Is The Look Of Love..."
Positive images of people like me... The truth of the matter is that we all need to see people like ourselves. So everyday, I'll post a photo, drawing or some other artwork that depicts Same Gender Loving People as what we are... Only Human.
"I Am Always Remembering..."
"Dear Heart, you and I are connected in ways that transcend anything we might have ever imagined."
- Stephen Christopher Harris
November 30th 2006
It's now been 15 years since he said this... he was right.
"Fear Eats the Soul"
Monday, November 29, 2021
"Selfie Love..."
"Selfie Love" - those beautiful, grainy, out-of-focus self-pics that capture the truth of true love..."
"The Truth About Love..."
Love is in the realization that actually, you're just as excited as your toddler to see him walk through that door at the end of each day. And not just because it means now there are more adults on duty to tackle the troops, but because your person is here and he makes you happy.
- Rasha Rushdy
"Same Gender Loving People - No. 4302"
"Love And Joy Are The Same Thing..."
Positive images of people like me... The truth of the matter is that we all need to see people like ourselves. So everyday, I'll post a photo, drawing or some other artwork that depicts Same Gender Loving People as what we are... Only Human.
"The Late Night Truth Of Passion..."
Let's fuck and get verbal
- moan when I enter you
- call me your daddy
- tell me how big I am
- let your face and eyes be mobile and expressive
- gasp, sigh, yelp, pant, moan
- tell me how deep inside you feel it
- when I pull it out, wiggle your hips at me and beg me to put it in again
- reach down with your hand to feel the point where I enter you, the girth of my shaft stretching you wide, my foreskin gliding back and forth as I thrust
- squeeze your hole around me and tell me you want my cum
In return, I will:
- moan when I enter you
- call you my boy
- tell you how great your snug little hole feels as it opens up for my cock
- let my face and eyes show the raw fuck-lust you’ve kindled in me
- gasp, sigh, pant, moan, and grunt as I get deeper and deeper into you, new textures and temperatures inside your hole pleasing me on every stroke
- tell you how deep inside you I’m getting
- pull it out and push it in again so we can both revel in the feeling of penetration
- hold your legs up and wide apart so we can both enjoy the view of my fat shaft splitting you open
- grunt and bellow out loud as I shoot my thick, sticky load deep inside your body
Sound like fun?
******
I realize that this is rather explicit and quite unusual for a post here, but the truth is that almost everyone is a person who feels and understands desires, passions and sex, and I am no different.
I don't remember where I found this, but it was back in 2018 and at the time, I thought that this was the best description of passion's desire that I've ever read. I still think so, and you may agree.
Passion of course can exist between two strangers, or it can be the loftiest expression of true love between companions of many years... I like to imagine that this is the latter.
And, if I tell the truth, to have heard such as this from the great love of my life was, and somehow still is the greatest dream and most precious desire of my heart. Sadly, I don't believe that I will ever know or hear such things spoken to me... And so now, when in the middle of the night I stir from my slumbers, I sometimes pray for an end of such longings and maybe even an end to life itself having grown old and tired of dreams unfulfilled... And yet, I go on remembering.
I am always remembering... And my greatest fear is that I may not live long enough to forget.
* The photo illustrating this post is from the 2004 German film, "Locked Up" (original title: Gefangen) which tells the story of two inmates in a federal prison who find love amidst the chaos and dangers of incarceration. I can very easily image the two main character, Mike and Dennis having this type of conversation. Although the film boarders on pornography, (the extended cut is explicitly pornographic) it is nonetheless one of the best films of it genre. The performances are incredibly nuanced and despite the production quality, the story is entrancing and well told and as all good films do, leaves you wanting more.
Sunday, November 28, 2021
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