"The Sight Of Love Is Always Beautiful... Live Fearlessly"
Friday, March 31, 2017
"Selfie Love..."
"Selfie Love" - those beautiful, grainy, out-of-focus self-pics that capture the truth of true love...
"The Imitation Of Life..."
Jackpot - It's 1994 and there's no internet, so when closeted 14-year-old Jack Hoffman hears about a stash of gay porn hidden across town, he decides to brave the bully infested streets of his small New Jersey town, in hopes of getting what he wants. What happens over the course of the day will change everything.
"Same Gender Loving People - No. 2654"
"Love Is Life's Truth..."
Positive images of people like me... The truth of the matter is that we all need to see people like ourselves. So everyday, I'll post a photo, drawing or some other artwork that depicts Same Gender Loving People as what we are... Only Human.
"It's True, Lovers Do Start To Look Alike..."
Amongst gay couples, it's often referred to as "A Boyfriend Twin"
"While you may be familiar with the old saying, “opposites attract,” in reality, what the heart wants is someone who resembles its owner and that resemblance increases the longer two lovebirds stay together.
University of Michigan psychologist Robert Zajonc conducted an experiment to test this phenomenon. He analyzed photographs of couples taken when they were newlyweds and photographs of the same couples taken 25 years later.
The results showed that the couples had grown to look more like each other over time. And, the happier that the couple said they were, the more likely they were to have increased in their physical similarity."
Read more about this interesting phenomenon here...
"Fear Eats the Soul"
"The Truth About Love..."
- John Daniel Barry
"A True Love Story..."
Timothy & Joseph Klipp-Lockhart
Alexandria, VA
Joseph and Timothy met in Nebraska – they went on their first date in Omaha after they connected online, and they haven’t been apart since. In fact, it was in Nebraska, surrounded by family that Timothy realized that he was in love with Joseph.
“The moment I knew that I wanted to be with Joseph forever was when we were all together – with my family and my brothers at Christmas time,” he remembered. “We were all so happy and getting along, and we knew that everything was good and everything was right, and I could tell that it was going to be good for a really long time. I felt like this was what it was supposed to be like.”
Two years after they met, they were married in Iowa in a restaurant run by a same-sex couple. After the thrilling ceremony, the couple returned to their home state, where their marriage was not respected.
So it was bittersweet when the couple had to move to Virginia for Joseph’s military career – their marriage was respected in that state, but they longed for Nebraska to see their love and commitment as valuable, as well. Nebraska is where Timothy’s family lives, and the couple plans to move back there to be close to them when it makes sense. “We are going to move back to Nebraska,” Timothy said. “And we want to have our marriage recognized there.”
Timothy’s family members – who, for the most part, still live in Nebraska – have been unendingly supportive of the couple. “My younger brother and his wife didn’t bat an eye when I came out to them,” he said. “They were really open and they loved Joseph from the get-go. My dad treated it no different than when my brothers got engaged. My mother was also excited for the marriage - her and Joseph have become extremely close, with my mother loving him as much as her other three sons.”
The two of them hope that the state they love and hope to return to will welcome the freedom to marry – and their marriage – soon. With so many supportive family members there, it’s hard for the couple to imagine visiting them in a place where their relationship is not seen as legal.
On March 2, a federal judge ruled in favor of the freedom to marry, with the ruling set to take effect on Monday, March 9, a triumphant and historic step forward. Now, the couple is hopeful that the decision does take effect and isn't delayed unnecessarily by the U.S. Court of Appeals for the 8th Circuit.
“Our motto is ‘Equality Before the Law,’ and it doesn’t feel to me, as a Nebraskan, like we’re living up to that unless we have equality for all in marriage,” Timothy said. “I’d be ecstatic to be able to move back to Nebraska and feel equal.”
*******
Editor's note - Timothy and Joseph shared their story as they were among the trailblazers in the fight for marriage equality. This story originally appeared on Freedom To Marry in March 2015.
Photos by Joshua Foo Photography. Full album here.
Thursday, March 30, 2017
"A True Love Story..."
Aaron and Chuck
Our Beginnings as a Couple
Let us go back to the beginning, before the kids, DFCS (Division of Family and Children Services), doctors, marriage, etc. I knew I was gay when I was still in elementary school. In 2004, when I was 22, I met my future husband Chuck online. We dated a few months and then decided to move in together. We bought a house and started living our closeted lives. Only family and close friends knew about us. To come from a very religious family and to live in South Georgia, it was not that easy to come out. Growing up all I heard were crude and negative comments about gay people from my family. How was I supposed to tell them that I was something they hated? I felt like I had no support.
After I left my hometown of Douglas, my family did eventually come around. They were supportive and eventually going home to visit became easier.
A Cousin’s Child Neglect Leads to a Horrific Accident
Let me go ahead and warn you that this is the sad part to our story. On May 31, 2011, Paul, Andrew and Bobby (who we now call Lil Man) were outside playing and were “going on an adventure.” They came to a pond that was behind the house they were renting and found an old boat. Paul and Andrew decided to get in the boat; neither one of the children knew how to swim at that time. When the two boys got in the boat and it started to drift and rock, they became scared and both jumped out into the water. Bobby who was still on the shore was able to grab a stick and pull Paul out of the water; however, he was not able to save Andrew because he was too far out, and Andrew drowned. My heart is breaking just thinking about this. It was a terrible shock to our family. Still, it wasn’t then that DFCS decided to take them away.
After More Neglect and Abuse, DFCS Finally Steps In
It was later that year that DFCS finally removed the kids from the care of Larry and Rose. It was 1 a.m. and Rose called 911 threatening to kill herself. When the cops and ambulance arrived, the children were outside playing with golf clubs and there was no running water in the house. The police also found that the window unit was leaking water onto the floor. Larry was nowhere to be found.
Lil Man as a baby and Paul as a toddler
My Cousin and his Wife Don’t Turn Their Lives Around
For Larry and Rose to get their children back, they both had to get jobs, have a stable home, take parenting classes, and Larry was required to take anger management classes. Well, Larry did not intend to complete any of the requirements to get his kids back. Rose tried to attend the classes but with her not having a vehicle it was almost impossible for her to attend the classes like she was supposed to. What classes she attended mother or aunt Marilyn took her. Now while the kids were with Mrs. Logan (the foster mother) Larry and Rose were required to make routine visits. Rose did make as many visits as she could in the beginning, but Larry (according to Bobby) only visited with them once. After a while, Rose stopped visiting the kids and almost six months went by without her seeing or talking to them.
The Kids are Freed for Adoption; Chuck and Aaron Begin
Adoption Proceedings for Paul and Bobby
We always wanted kids and had talked about adopting but at that time in Alabama, gay couples did not just go out and adopt with no problems. Therefore, when I did speak with him, he told me of course, he would love for us to look into it.
About the time we started visiting with them is about the time Rose stopped her visits. When I first contacted DFCS in Douglas, I was told that Tawanna Logan (the foster mother) was planning to adopt Bart and Annie. So I told the caseworker that we would like to foster the other two (Paul and Bobby).
For the next ten months we drove from Seale, Alabama, to Valdosta, Georgia, about 200 miles one-way every single weekend. It is not an exaggeration to say we spent over $30,000 in travel, clothing, birthday and Christmas presents as well as furniture for the boys. We always had such a good time visiting with them, and just after a few visits, we fell in love and knew we wanted them.
Wrench # 1: DFCS Refuses to Approve Home Study
The next day Mary called me and said that the state office had reconsidered. You cannot imagine how happy we were.
Wrench #2: DFCS is Unwilling to Grant Chuck a Second-Parent Adoption
Wrench #3: DFCS Refuses to Approve Home Study Unless Chuck Moves Out
Paul (left) and Lil Man when they first came to live with us, 2013
And so, When the Children Move In …
On February 2, 2013, we drove to Valdosta and picked up our boys. We were so happy; we waited so long and jumped through so many hoops to get them. Anyone who has fostered through DFCS knows what it is like. For a gay couple, it feels like everyone is watching us and judging us.
When they came to live with us, the adjustment was tough but I guess that is normal. We had been by ourselves for years and now there were two kids in our home. Paul was 11 and Lil Man was 7.
… Chuck Moves Out
Paul’s Autism Diagnosis
Chuck on the other hand just clicked with Paul. Chuck is quiet and introverted so it was easier for Paul to bond with him. I on the other hand tend to be loud and very extroverted. For an autistic child this can be very intimidating.
Lil Man, like me, is very extroverted, and because of that, Paul and Lil Man are not close at all. But like me, he has a temper.
Now that we had kids, I wanted to be that parent who was involved in everything. So I signed Lil Man up for baseball. This was a wonderful experience for both of us, but keep in mind that all this was still hard for Chuck since he was not legally part of the kid’s life. Chuck and I both enjoyed it but something was missing, and he was hurting inside and often I would forget. It is hard to explain: We were happy but for both of us something was missing: We both wanted Chuck to be an official father. This caused major problems in our relationship but I will get to that later.
The Separation
Wrench #4: Adoption Judge Refuses to Sign Adoption papers
We go to court, everything is going fine, and then the judge does not like the idea of a hyphenated name. He told us that people would make fun of them because of their last name. He does not sign the papers.
As tough as this was for me, it does not even compare to what it did to Chuck; this was the last straw for Chuck. I have never seen him cry the way he did in the laundry room that night. I just remember him saying, “This just hurts so much.” All I could do was cry right along with him.
Chuck with Lil Man (left) and Aaron with Paul (right), 2017
A New Beginning: October 11, 2016
Editor’s Note: Aaron and Chuck eventually managed to reconcile their differences and find a way forward together. They got back together!
That was the day my life changed, the day that I married Chuck. I am happy now and no one will hurt me or make me feel less than what I am ever again. All this time I had this wonderful person right in front of me and I did not even notice.
On October 10, 2016, we met with our lawyer and spoke to him about Chuck adopting the boys. That morning we had no plans to marry. We hoped that the judge would waive the marriage clause and let Chuck adopt the boys. But when we spoke to the lawyer he pretty much told us we needed to be married. When we left the lawyer’s office I called Chuck (we drove separate vehicles) and told him to meet me at home and we would go to the courthouse that day and get married. Well, October 10 was a holiday so the government center in Columbus was closed. We did not even realize it was a holiday. All we could think about was getting married.
We did not tell anyone our plans only his mother who was down visiting and my friend at work knew what plan we had hatched. Our plan was, the next day we would both leave work early. I told everyone I had some probate stuff to take care of. It was not a lie; we did have to go to the probate office to get the license. We got the license and at 5 p.m. that Tuesday, we were married in less than five minutes.
Adoption Finalized, Finally
From left to right: Paul, Chuck, Bart, Annie, Aaron, Lil Man
Making Plans to Reunite All The Kids
On the day we were married, we decided to bring all the siblings back together. We realize now that it was a mistake to separate them. The next day I contacted Annie and Bart’s caseworker and told her that we wanted them. She had contacted me in the past about getting them but with both of us in a deep depression and separated I could not even think about taking on two more kids. The caseworker called me and told me that another family in Florida was interested in the kids. It almost felt like déjà vu and we’d have to battle with the DFCS again, but Bart and Annie’s caseworker decided it was best for the children to join their siblings.
We do not have the two little ones yet but we are working hard to get them. We are excited and enjoy every visit so much; we long for the day that we can all be together.
Learning About Autism
Our family has finally found the happiness that we always wanted. Thank you for reading our story.
*******
This article has been condensed and edited slightly for grammar and clarity.
From Gays With Kids
"The Truth About Love..."
- John Daniel Barry
"It's True, Lovers Do Start To Look Alike..."
Amongst gay couples, it's often referred to as "A Boyfriend Twin"
"While you may be familiar with the old saying, “opposites attract,” in reality, what the heart wants is someone who resembles its owner and that resemblance increases the longer two lovebirds stay together.
University of Michigan psychologist Robert Zajonc conducted an experiment to test this phenomenon. He analyzed photographs of couples taken when they were newlyweds and photographs of the same couples taken 25 years later.
The results showed that the couples had grown to look more like each other over time. And, the happier that the couple said they were, the more likely they were to have increased in their physical similarity."
Read more about this interesting phenomenon here...
"Fear Eats the Soul"
"Same Gender Loving People - No. 2653"
"Love Is The Reason For All Things..."
Positive images of people like me... The truth of the matter is that we all need to see people like ourselves. So everyday, I'll post a photo, drawing or some other artwork that depicts Same Gender Loving People as what we are... Only Human.
Wednesday, March 29, 2017
"Same Gender Loving People - No. 2652"
"Love Gives Two Souls One Heart..."
Positive images of people like me... The truth of the matter is that we all need to see people like ourselves. So everyday, I'll post a photo, drawing or some other artwork that depicts Same Gender Loving People as what we are... Only Human.
"The Imitation Of Life..."
Protect Me From What I Want - Set in London, a young gay muslim man allows himself to pursue his first sexual relationship.
"It's True, Lovers Do Start To Look Alike..."
Amongst gay couples, it's often referred to as "A Boyfriend Twin"
"While you may be familiar with the old saying, “opposites attract,” in reality, what the heart wants is someone who resembles its owner and that resemblance increases the longer two lovebirds stay together.
University of Michigan psychologist Robert Zajonc conducted an experiment to test this phenomenon. He analyzed photographs of couples taken when they were newlyweds and photographs of the same couples taken 25 years later.
The results showed that the couples had grown to look more like each other over time. And, the happier that the couple said they were, the more likely they were to have increased in their physical similarity."
Read more about this interesting phenomenon here...
"Fear Eats the Soul"
"A Thought To Ponder..."
- Percy Bysshe Shelley
"A True Love Story..."
Eugene and David
Our Story
How We Met
Over sausages and wine we met to get to know each other better. Neither had big expectations. One thought the other would be a heavy Russian accented, poorly dressed, eastern European guy. The other was going on his first Match.com date and didn't really think much of it. One showed up 15-minutes early, the other 15-minutes late. Little did we know that that would be the day that would change our lives forever.
This was not a classic fairy-tale but instead a modern day love story.
From The Knot
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