"Fear Eats the Soul..."

For some reason, I was reminded recently about my first hospital visit to see a person who was dying of AIDS. It was in the very early 1980s, and we, of course, had no idea how it was contracted or transmitted. He was at the public hospital in Jacksonville, Florida. There was a small vestibule just outside his room with a supply of disposable gowns and masks and gloves. On the floor was also what apparently was supposed to be his lunch. An orderly had refused to go in, so they just put it on the floor.

At first I was furious and started to go find someone to give them a piece of my mind. How dare they starve a young man who was already dying? I decided, though, to first take the tray in so the food didn’t get any colder. I could not imagine that the tile floor was improving the quality of hospital cuisine.

As I began putting on the paper gown, I realized that the poor soul who left the food was just afraid of something that they didn’t understand. In those days, my ministry was pastoring a mostly lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender church. As I thought about that, I realized that if casual contact could communicate this disease I likely was already infected, so I took off the paper gown and picked up the tray and went in to see my friend.

His face broke into a huge smile. I said, “Well, the food may not be the best, but I bet you are hungry.”

“No,” he said. “I wasn’t really hungry for the food, but you are the first person I’ve seen since I’ve been here.” I was stunned. I knew his partner, and I couldn’t imagine that he hadn’t been there often. When I asked about that he shook his head. “No, I’ve had doctors and nurses and other visitors, but you are the first person who wasn’t covered up by those awful yellow paper gowns and masks. Yours is the first real face I’ve seen in days.”

Perhaps there is nothing more important that we can do for the dying, the sick, the wounded, the hurting, and the lonely than to show them our real faces and let them feel the touch of our hands, ungloved of judgment or fear. Jesus was the Human One, and perhaps seeing the face of what real humanity is supposed to look like was the greatest gift he had to give.

Blessings,

Rev. Michael Piazza
Co-Executive Director
The Center for Progressive Renewal