Showing posts with label Eddie. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Eddie. Show all posts

Friday, March 21, 2014

"And Another One Bites The Dust..."

Detroit, Michigan
March 21, 2014

IT IS HEREBY DECLARED that Article I, § 25 of the Michigan Constitution and its implementing statutes are unconstitutional because they violate the Equal Protection Clause of the Fourteenth Amendment to the United States Constitution.

IT IS FURTHER ORDERED that the State of Michigan is enjoined from enforcing Article I, § 25 of the Michigan Constitution and its implementing statutes.


Marriage equality came to my home
state of Michigan this afternoon!

Although my husband and I were legally married in Canada in 2011, this ruling will eventually mean that our marriage will finally be recognized by the State of Michigan.  More importantly, it means that hundreds, if not thousands of same-sex couples wanting to marry here should be able to do so starting on Monday.

Even though Michigan's Republican Attorney General has already filed a motion with the Sixth Circuit Court of Appeals seeking an emergency stay of today's historic ruling, it has been reported that some county clerks in Michigan are already issuing licenses to happy couples.

My husband, Edward and I are very excited and happy for our state and the many loving couples who can now realize their dreams of being married in the state that is their home.


If you are a same-sex couple in wishing to marry in Michigan, you can find the latest information on clerks who are already implementing the ruling here:

"Fear Eats the Soul"

Monday, September 23, 2013

Friday, August 23, 2013

"Reflections On Married Life..."

"No More Salad!  I Want A Steak Dammit!"

The husband and I have been trying to diet lately and sometimes I do feel like this guy...

"Fear Eats the Soul"

Sunday, August 18, 2013

"Reflections On Married Life..."

Our humble home... August 2013

I've shared before that my husband is a professional gardener, so together we take great pride in maintaining our home and gardens.  This is a view of our home from the street. (the brown patch in the lawn is due to grubs snacking on the roots).

This is my rock garden across the front of our home. I installed this as a tribute to my mother the year she died.  She loved flowers and would always tell me,
 "Be sure they know a 'Flournoy' lives there..."

The view looking down the backyard from the rear of the house.

Close up of one of the terracotta pots in the gravel garden.  The tall green plant is papyrus, some people call it the "fireworks plant" because of the streaming tendrils at the top. 

These arborvitae screen the view to the alley. These were the first thing Eddie planted when he started improving the backyard.  The Limelight hydrangeas in the corners are in full bloom right now and later the blooms will change color to a glowing lime green color.  

This is a view of the first gravel garden we put in a couple of years ago.  I'm sure our neighbors think us quite pretentious having an illuminated oil painting on the wall of our garage.

This is the second gravel garden on the other side of the yard outside our Florida room.  Eddie and I put this in last year after we found these chairs and table to match the bench
we bought a couple of years ago.

I'll have to post a nighttime view of this area, it's very attractive when the lighting from the painting and the illuminated decorative pyramid seen at the right casts 
just the right amount of light on the area.

Eddie and I like to sit here in the mornings and during the day.  
On the roof terrace above this area we have a container garden where in the evenings we like to sit and watch the sun go down over the neighbor's houses behind ours.

These are the summer flowers in the rock garden, soon we'll add the fall mums and violas.  Then later, just before winter arrives we'll plant next spring's bulbs that together with the violas (that should survive the winter) will start our three seasons of color all over again.

Home is an important part of married life for Eddie and me.  It's the place where we can be free to enjoy life and being together.  It's the part of life I always dreamed about, but thought would never really come true.

For us, it's better when you're married...

"Fear Eats the Soul"

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

"This Made Me Smile..."

Yesterday, my husband made me a birthday cake...
What a surprise!  I can't wait to enjoy it later today.

Friday, May 3, 2013

"Reflections On Married Life..."

It's funny where you find the common joys of life, but for my husband and I, "The Walking Dead" is one of those joys.  We discovered this series on Netflix about a month ago and watched all the episodes in just a matter of days.  Now we're both in withdrawal as we await the next season's arrival.

So this is for Eddie.  But I'm sure you'll enjoy it too!

"Fear Eats the Soul"

Monday, April 8, 2013

"Reflections On Married Life..."

It was two years ago today that my husband and I married in Windsor, Ontario, Canada.  To celebrate, we had a meal of Chicken Marsala and then we went to see a film this evening.

Sometimes it's little things that make a world of difference in your life...  I came home from work in a grumpy mood, but Eddie didn't let it upset him.  He had dinner ready when I got home and was waiting outside on the porch when I pulled up. After I gave him the card and candy I bought him, we enjoyed our meal and that made me feel better...

The film we saw (Olympus Has Fallen) was surprisingly good, although quite disturbing and hyper-violent.  Now that we're home for the evening, before I fall asleep, I know I'll think of someone else before I give my thanks for my husband.  Nonetheless, my husband loves me and I love him. And, that fact makes life good...

"Fear Eats the Soul"

Thursday, March 28, 2013

"This Made Me Smile..."

I so love these videos... I drive my husband nuts when we go to see a film, because sometimes I can't help critiquing some of the gratuitous departures from the realm of reality... When I discovered this YouTube channel, I felt vindicated, at least I know I'm not alone in seeing these things...

BTW: I loved "Skyfall"

Sunday, March 24, 2013

"Reflections On Married Life..."

"Happy Birthday Ed!"

My husband's birthday was last week, so that morning, I got up early to bake him a cake.  I was once a professional pastry chef, so expectations tend to be high when I say I'm going to make you something.  And although I had a bad toothache that started a few days before, I didn't let it stop me making his cake.  Oh, yeah, Joni (our cat), he helped too, see below :-)

After baking the cake layers, I went in to work for a bit, but left early to go to the dentist.  I came by home to pick up the husband, who wanted to go with me.  I spent almost four hours in the dentist's chair... it turned out that I needed a surgical extraction of an impacted molar that I'd broken while chewing ice (I love to eat ice, don't know why).  I also had a mild allergic reaction to the anesthetic, so this was not a "good" visit to the dentist.

I'd already promised the husband dinner out at one of his favorite restaurants, P.F. Chang's.  So when we got back home, I iced and decorated the cake and then rested for a bit before we headed off to dinner.  I really didn't feel up to being out that night, but I didn't let Ed know that, after-all, it was his special day. So after a few minutes, I got up, changed the bloody gauze in my mouth, put on a brave face and off we went.  

When we arrived, I must have been quite a sight to the fellow in the car we parked across from as I reached into my mouth to extract the blood soaked gauze that I'd been biting down on for the last hour trying to get the wound in my mouth to stop bleeding.  But Ed was happy and excited to be celebrating his birthday  and I was happy that he was enjoying himself (I don't think he even noticed me taking the gauze out).

Once we got seated, I was beginning to feel some pain as the anesthetics were wearing off.  So I decided to have a drink.  Ed ordered one too and we toasted his birthday.  Then we ordered a wonderful four course  meal that I wondered how I'd eat.  But when the soups and appetizer came, I managed to lightly chew things enough to swallow... everything tasted a bit salty though, and I realized that it was from the new bleeding void in my mouth.  Nevertheless, we both enjoyed ourselves as we people watched and tried to eat all the food we'd ordered.  We still ended up taking quite a bit of our meal home, as I ate a lot less than I might have otherwise done. But the drinks did the trick, I wasn't feeling anything as we left the restaurant.

Then it was back home so I could sing "Happy Birthday" complete with a missing tooth lisp and a "not quite druken" slur as Ed cut his cake.  The cake turned out really nicely, it was rich and flavorful and it didn't look bad either, especially considering how I was feeling as I decorated it.

And this little reflection I've shared is what love and marriage is all about... It's about caring and making sacrifices and celebrating life.  In my work (death care industry), I've come to realize just how precious every moment of our lives should be to us.  We only get to come this way once, so we should make the best of it that we can.  Live and love honestly and openly, that's what I say. Because...

"Fear Eats the Soul"

Thursday, February 14, 2013

"A Love Song For Valentine's Day..."

For my husband, Ed...

"Reflections On Married Life..."

I usually get up well before my husband, and one of the things I do in those early morning hours is prepare the posts for the day for this blog.  I usually work from the breakfast room table.  This is what I found this morning on the table when I came downstairs.  I have to admit, it made me happy... I just set out his gift and card, although he probably won't see it until much later this morning when I leave for work.

This is part and parcel of married life... recognizing and sharing with each other that we love and care about each other.  We share our lives, our dreams, our hopes and our disappointments, but most of all we share our love for one another.  It manifests itself in the little things, like the cherry pie Ed bought when he went grocery shopping yesterday (he knows it's my favorite), and in the big things like helping improve our home and sharing in the responsibilities of family.

Valentine's Day is an opportunity to reflect on love and marriage and although we both take each other for granted, it reminds us of just how special and wonderful it is to love someone.  It's better when you're married.

"Fear Eats the Soul"

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

"Reflections On Married Life..."

I love James Asal's "Adam and Andy" strip, he captures moments of married life perfectly... the husband and I had this very same conversation just the other day.

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

"Reflections On Married Life..."

I'll be home this evening and Eddie and I (and Joni our cat :-) will carve our pumpkin after dinner and then pass out candy to the kids in the neighborhood.  It should be fun, hopefully it won't be as cold as it has been the last few days.

"Fear Eats the Soul"

Friday, July 6, 2012

"Reflections On Married Life... The Summer Garden"

Views of the container garden on our second floor terrace

My husband, Ed is a professional gardener and when we met I discovered something I'd never thought to do.  At his old home, he had a second floor terrace at the back of the house as we do here and he had a beautiful container garden set up there.  So when we got together, he did the same thing for our home.  

Every morning this is where Ed and our cat (and sometimes me) have his morning coffee and enjoy the morning air and sunshine.  In the evenings are my favorite time to be out on the terrace enjoying the view of our garden in the yard below while listening to our favorite music.  

A street view of our home... the terrace is in the rear

I'd been here in our home for nearly 20 years and it had never occurred to me that the second floor terrace could be so nice... It's a space I'd never really considered, I'd never even taken a chair out there.  But I realize now that the reason is that there was never anyone to share it with.  Now, spending time out there with my husband is one of my favorite things to do in the summer... It's true, life feels different when you're married, for my husband and I, it's better.

"Fear Eats the Soul"

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

"Reflections On Married Life - Mad Men..."

I have to admit that the husband and I love the series "Mad Men."  Although we only discovered it this year (a long story that starts with the fact that we don't subscribe to cable tv), it's become something of a guilty pleasure for us... It's the only show that we have to watch together so that we can then spend hours talking about it.

Today on Gawker, Cord Jefferson does an excellent job of deconstructing "Mad Men" and what drives for some, their fascination with it.
Ever since Mad Men captivated the consciousness of a particular subset of the American population a few years back, we—men in particular—have learned to ignore how deplorable most of the male characters on the show are. Among the qualities listed above, the guys in and around Sterling, Cooper, Draper, Price are also rapists, cheats, thieves, pimps, layabouts, anti-Semites, and cowards. It's probably redundant to note that they're unflinching misogynists, but they are that, too, and to a degree so toxic many women flee them in tears or, more seldom, while sashaying to other jobs where they'll actually be appreciated.
The rest of the article is well worth the read.  It speaks to the observations that my husband and I have been making about the show and for us the validation of our views was the point that Jefferson makes in the end - " There are many wealthy white men throughout the world who believe things were better when the power sat solely in their soft, manicured hands." 

While my husband, Ed and I certainly enjoy "Mad Men" we quickly realized that that world - the world of Don Draper had no good place in it for the likes of people like us (remember what happened to Sal?).  To be gay and/or black, (really anything other than white, male, protestant and hetero) meant you had struggles and hardship in the world of the "Mad Men."  If anything, when Ed and I watch it, we're awestruck by the crassness of it all and thankful to have been born after the "Greatest Generation."  

And with that said, time to join the husband on the sofa for an episode of "True Blood" - Love those vampires!

"Fear Eats the Soul" 

Monday, May 28, 2012

"Memorial Day 2012"

This will be the only post today in honor of the fallen men and women who gave the fullest measure of devotion to their country... 

While my husband and I will do the things most of us will on this day (BBQ & celebrate the arrival of summer), we'll also pause in remembrance of the countless GLBT men and women who served their country in silence and yet were called upon to give even more than that... With their whole stories untold, they also gave their lives to give the most precious of all gifts to those left behind - freedom.  As I routinely point out to people, the price of freedom is not free, it has always been purchased with blood, sweat and tears, and eventually the greatest sacrifice, the lives of some of our brothers and sisters.

Learn about the history of this holiday here: Wikipedia

"Fear Eats the Soul"

Sunday, May 13, 2012

"Reflections On Married Life..."

Today is "Mother's Day."  And, although it's always been a day of significance for me, it's ever more poignant today in that it's been just over eight years since my mother passed away.

My husband and I will spend the day together and at some point we'll reminisce and again share with each other our memories of our mothers.  Eddie's mother has been gone for about twelve years now, so we both know and understand the sense of loss that this day will commemorate.

In a bit, I'll be cooking breakfast for my husband (pancakes and turkey bacon) and then we'll go to the cemetery so that I can take my mother some pink roses.  My mother loved pink roses and when she was here with us, I surprised her with them often.  I'll think of those days today when I leave some at her grave.

And also as I visit today, I know I'll be moved to remember the only other man besides my husband to ever visit my mother's grave with me.  And with that, I'll remember her visit to him in North Carolina.  She would have loved him as I did and as I know she loves my husband... Because I do.  There are angels about us, silently watching over us, impossibly loving us even more than in the mortal life...

If you're reading this, and you're fortunate enough to still have your mother here with you, take time today, to tell her about your love for her.  Even if she doesn't understand you or accept you as you might like, don't let it cause you to regret missing the opportunity, for someday, she will be gone from your sight...

This is a poem that I read as I eulogized my mother at her funeral in May 2004:

“And that is dying”

I am standing upon the seashore.  A ship at my side spreads her white sails to the morning breeze and starts for the blue ocean.  She is an object of beauty and strength.  I stand and watch her until at length she hangs like a speck of white cloud just where the sea and sky come to mingle with each other.

Then someone at my side says: “There, she is gone!”

“Gone where?”

Gone from my sight. That is all.  She is just as large in mast and hull and spar as she was when she left my side and she is just as able to bear her load of living freight to her destined port.

Her diminished size is in me, not in her.  And just at the moment when someone at my side says: “There, she is gone!” there are other eyes watching her coming, and other voices ready to take up the glad shout: “Here she comes!”

And that is dying

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

"A Love Song..."

Just lately, I've been reflecting on the loves of my life... 

This lovely song speaks to the feeling in my heart as I think of my husband and the few men that have owned my heart both with him and before him.  Love is such a magical and tragically ephemeral chain whose yet unbreakable bonds weave and wrap their way through every corner of every moment in our lives, if only we could fully realize the joys of being thus bound and inextricably linked one to another.  

I have loved and I believe that I have been loved...
Therefore, this life has been worth the living.

"Fear Eats the Soul"

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

"Reflections On Married Life... Valentine's Day"

Dear Readers,

Today was a lovely day... My husband Ed and I began our day early with him off running errands and me going into work for a few hours.  But at lunch time, Ed picked me up and we went to see my old boss and friend Mark.   We took my friend Mark out to lunch and Ed was really good about letting Mark and I dither on about our work while he patiently listened.

After lunch, the husband and I decided to go walk the mall. We had a nice time browsing the stores and window shopping.  We even bought some glassware at Crate & Barrel before we stopped for a snack (frozen yogurt for me and a pomegranate smoothie for Ed) and just relaxed and talked about things going on as we people watched from the food hall at Macy's.

When we got home this afternoon, we opened the gifts we'd exchanged before leaving this morning.  I got the husband a box of candy, the expected card filled with sweet sentiment and a cute pair of Valentine's boxer shorts (we'll see if he wears them to bed tonight ;-).  He bought me a box of my favorite type of chocolate (cherry cordials) and two cards (one giant card that's quite comical, and a regular sized one that says what I believe he really feels.  Needless to say, I think we were both happy to have love in our lives and to have a special occasion to celebrate it.

After the gifts, while I worked on some projects for work, Ed went to visit his niece and her children... his great nephew's birthday is today.  Then when he got back this evening we went out to dinner.  Now that we're home, I'm rather tired and looking forward to a good night's rest.  Tomorrow will be a busy day at work, but before going to bed, I had to reflect on how much better life has become... Thinking back, there were many many lonely years in my life when "Valentine's Day" was just a reminder of how alone I was.  For most of my life, this day was little more than a reminder of how miserable I thought life would always be.

But now, like so many of us, I too can say, "It gets better."  I am out to my family and friends, my colleagues and coworkers and I am accepted as I am... a same-gender-loving man who's nothing more or less than human... This Valentine's Day, I am thankful for my husband and our love for one another.  And I can say, "Its good and it matters when you're married."


"Fear Eats the Soul"

Saturday, January 28, 2012

"Reflections On Married Life..."

The husband and I had a date night yesterday and after dinner we went to see this film... Overall, I gave it 4 out of 5 stars.  But the funny thing is this, I always like to stay and watch the ending credits of a film.  I just find it interesting to watch the names of the people and organizations that helped to make the film.  For instance while watching this film's ending credits, I saw that Comerica Bank provided the production financing.  It was interesting to me because Comerica was founded in Detroit and still has a large presence here.

But anyway, when I first started dating my husband, Ed, he at first didn't like to stay for the end credits.  He was one of the masses that jumps out of their seat as soon as the end credits start to roll.  But he loves me, so he learned to endulge me in my desire to watch them.  Now, I'm sharing all of this because it has a lot to do with the film we saw last night. 

"The Grey" was a great film and Liam Neeson is one of my favorite actors.  But if you read peoples reviews and comments on this film, while everyone seemed to like it, a lot of people didn't like the ending.  Without giving it away, the end of the film has Neeson facing off with the alpha wolf, but it fades to black and you don't see what happened next, then the end credits roll.

However, for my husband and I and the four other people in the auditorium who stayed to watch the credits, we we got a very good idea of what happened next... the final 5 seconds of the film play at the end of the credits.  So, if you go to see this film and you have a need to see the story that just unfolded be resolved... Stay for the credits!  It's one of the other reasons I like to stay for the entire film... lots of movies have additional scenes spliced into the credits... sometimes the blooper scenes are there or like in "The Grey," a clue to the missing resolution of the story.  I couldn't help thinking to myself that the hundred or so other moviegoers we shared that showing with left feeling a little cheated in that the climax scene of the movie went unresolved (or, so they thought).

I think it really annoyed Ed when we first met that I wanted to stay for the credits, but because he loves me, he learned to like them as I do and that is what love and marriage is about... Sharing life and the world and each other's interests.  Love and marriage... I highly recommend it!

"A life lived in fear is a life half-lived..."

P.S. One of my interests is looking for "Same Gender Loving" characters in mainstream films... more and more, we are there.  I won't tell you where in the film, but we are depicted in "The Grey."


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