"The Unbearable Truth... Fear Eats The Soul"

"A Thought To Ponder..."

2012-02-17T20:20:00.000-05:00

Love knows no reasons,
love knows no lies.
Love defies all reasons,
love has no eyes.
But love is not blind,
love sees but doesn't mind.

~ Author unknown

"Same Gender Loving People - No. 892"

2012-02-17T00:02:00.000-05:00

"Young, In Love And Unfraid..."

Positive images of people like me... The truth of the matter is that we all need to see people like ourselves. So everyday, I'll post a photo, drawing or some other artwork that depicts Same Gender Loving People as what we are... Only Human.

"A Sign Of Truth..."

2012-02-16T11:06:00.004-05:00

"Fear Eats the Soul"

"The Truth About Love..."

2012-02-15T19:15:00.002-05:00

"Love puts the fun in together,
The sad in apart,
The hope in tomorrow,
The joy in the heart."

~ Anonymous

"A Sign Of Truth..."

2012-02-15T17:50:00.006-05:00

"Fear Eats the Soul"

"In The News Today..."

2012-02-15T14:31:00.021-05:00

February 14, 2012

A gay Thai couple celebrated their love this Valentine's Day with a two-day kiss. The 50-hour, 25-minute and one-second smooch [kiss] set a new world record.

The two men were taking part in the annual Ripley's Believe It or Not longest kissing competition in the resort town of Pattaya, Thailand. The seven competing couples started kissing Sunday and had to keep their lips locked at all times, including to eat and drink and to go to the bathroom.

Thirty-one-year-old Nontawat Jaroegenasornsin and 28-year-old Thanakorn Sittiamthong won $6,500 worth of diamond rings, cash and a voucher for a five-star hotel in Thailand for their first place kiss.

"We are happy about the result. We won because we supported each other. Last year we only lasted 22 hours. So we decided to come to this competition to compete again," said Jaroegenasornsin.

Last year's winner Lakkana Tiranarat and her husband lasted 46 hours, 24 minutes and nine seconds. Tiranarat says they bowed out of the competition this year in the name of love.

"We decided to stop it because we want to keep our love," said Tiranarat.

A one-minute kissing competition earned participants a free Valentine's Day dinner in Shanghai. And in Taiwan, 101 individuals proclaimed their love by paying thousands of dollars to have a message displayed on the side of Taipei's tallest building.

In the "City of Love," Paris, couples attached personalized padlocks to a fence along the Pont des Arts Bridge over the River Seine. The tradition is to then dump the key in the river.

In Britain, the popular Duchess of Cambridge received a special Valentine's day gift, but not from her husband Prince William. The duchess's 8-year-old admirer gave her cake and flowers during an official engagement in Liverpool.

The young royal couple will be spending their first Valentine's Day as man and wife apart. Prince William is on a six-week search and rescue mission in the Falklands Islands.

This Valentine's Day should be a happy one for about two-thirds of couples worldwide. A new Ipsos/Reuters poll has found that 63 percent of people in marriages or domestic partnerships say their partners bring them the greatest happiness in life.

Valentine's Day is a centuries old tradition that couples use to celebrate their love. It is unclear where exactly the holiday got its start, but there are several myths surrounding three separate Saint Valentines. The unofficial holiday is typically celebrated with the exchange of chocolates, flowers and other gifts.

*******

"A life lived in fear is a life half-lived..."

"Same Gender Loving People - No. 891"

2012-02-15T10:47:00.004-05:00

"What...? We're In Love"

"Reflections On Married Life... Valentine's Day"

2012-02-14T23:48:00.001-05:00

Dear Readers,

Today was a lovely day... My husband Ed and I began our day early with him off running errands and me going into work for a few hours. But at lunch time, Ed picked me up and we went to see my old boss and friend Mark. We took my friend Mark out to lunch and Ed was really good about letting Mark and I dither on about our work while he patiently listened.

After lunch, the husband and I decided to go walk the mall. We had a nice time browsing the stores and window shopping. We even bought some glassware at Crate & Barrel before we stopped for a snack (frozen yogurt for me and a pomegranate smoothie for Ed) and just relaxed and talked about things going on as we people watched from the food hall at Macy's.

When we got home this afternoon, we opened the gifts we'd exchanged before leaving this morning. I got the husband a box of candy, the expected card filled with sweet sentiment and a cute pair of Valentine's boxer shorts (we'll see if he wears them to bed tonight ;-). He bought me a box of my favorite type of chocolate (cherry cordials) and two cards (one giant card that's quite comical, and a regular sized one that says what I believe he really feels. Needless to say, I think we were both happy to have love in our lives and to have a special occasion to celebrate it.

After the gifts, while I worked on some projects for work, Ed went to visit his niece and her children... his great nephew's birthday is today. Then when he got back this evening we went out to dinner. Now that we're home, I'm rather tired and looking forward to a good night's rest. Tomorrow will be a busy day at work, but before going to bed, I had to reflect on how much better life has become... Thinking back, there were many many lonely years in my life when "Valentine's Day" was just a reminder of how alone I was. For most of my life, this day was little more than a reminder of how miserable I thought life would always be.

But now, like so many of us, I too can say, "It gets better." I am out to my family and friends, my colleagues and coworkers and I am accepted as I am... a same-gender-loving man who's nothing more or less than human... This Valentine's Day, I am thankful for my husband and our love for one another. And I can say, "Its good and it matters when you're married."

********

"Fear Eats the Soul"

"Same Gender Loving People - No. 890"

2012-02-14T19:01:00.000-05:00

"The Dreams Of Lovers Do Come True..."

"It's Only Love..."

2012-02-14T11:13:00.005-05:00

"Happy Valentine's Day!"

"A Thought To Ponder..."

2012-02-14T08:32:00.000-05:00

Corvino: Love, Partnership and Valentine’s Day

By John Corvino, columnist, 365gay.com
02.11.2011

When I floated the idea of writing a Valentine’s Day column, my friends’ reactions ran the gamut—from suggestions for themes (“Talk about what makes a successful relationship!”) to wariness (“Are you sure you want to reinforce this Hallmark holiday?”) to sheer disgust. (“Ugh. Please don’t.”)

Either because I want to show off my writing agility, or (more likely) because I’m stuck in a hotel room with a bad internet connection and a nasty headcold and no better column ideas, I’m going to try to accommodate all three reactions.

(1) “Talk about what makes a successful relationship.”

Answer: low expectations.

I’m only half joking. As I’ve written before, Mark is my partner in life, but he is not my “everything,” and I am not his.

Too many relationships falter because people harbor the insane idea that their partners should meet all of their emotional, intellectual, social, and physical needs 100% of the time. When their partners fail to do so (not because they are deficient, but because they are human), such people feel dissatisfied and convince themselves that the grass could or should be greener.

Such people don’t need a partner, they need a hobby.

This is not to downplay the importance of compatibility or to make excuses for lack of attentiveness. Like most worthwhile things in life, relationships require effort. But the most successful relationships I’ve known are not the ones where the partners are obsessed with each other. They’re the ones where partners figure out how to love each other once infatuation passes.

(For what it’s worth, Mark still makes me giddy, just not every moment of every day.)

(2) “Are you sure you want to reinforce this Hallmark holiday?”

I am sure that I do NOT want to reinforce it AS a Hallmark holiday. But just as one can celebrate Christmas without embracing the season’s commercialism (or for that matter, its theological underpinnings), one can celebrate Valentine’s Day without being trite and tacky.

That might mean doing something unexpected and meaningful for your partner. It might mean throwing a dinner party for your friends, including single friends—a favorite tradition of mine. Although Valentine’s Day is traditionally associated with romantic love, that’s surely not the only love worth celebrating.

(3) “Ugh. Please don’t.”

The people who have this reaction to Valentine’s Day probably do so because they can’t get past the “Hallmark holiday” version. Either that, or they’ve been “unlucky in love.”

I admit that my being happily partnered probably makes it easier for me to extol Valentine’s Day’s virtues. But my dinner party tradition (which, for scheduling reasons, I’ve sadly missed in the last few years) began when I was single. You don’t have to be paired off to share the pleasures of candlelight and champagne and flowers and chocolate.

For that matter, you don’t have to wait for Valentine’s Day to show appreciation for those you love. Just think outside the (heart-shaped) box, and do it.

John Corvino, Ph.D. is a writer, speaker, and philosophy professor at Wayne State University in Detroit. His column “The Gay Moralist” appears Fridays at 365gay.com

*********

John Corvino originally posted this article last year, but I was not reposting anything at the time due to mourning my father's death.

"Fear Eats the Soul"

"Happy Valentine's Day - Washington State"

2012-02-14T00:24:00.001-05:00

Gov. Christine Gregoire signed Marriage Equality into law in Washington state on Monday...

Congratulations and Welcome!

Now there are seven!

"Same Gender Loving People - No. 889"

2012-02-13T10:42:00.002-05:00

"Love And Lazy Days At Home..."

"The Truth About Love..."

2012-02-12T16:22:00.002-05:00

"Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies."

- Aristotle

"Same Gender Loving People - No. 888"

2012-02-12T11:15:00.004-05:00

"Peace, Comfort, Union... Only Love"

"A Sign Of Truth..."

2012-02-12T07:19:00.003-05:00

"The Truth About Love..."

2012-02-11T18:06:00.003-05:00

"Love is a force more formidable than any other. It is invisible -- it cannot be seen or measured, yet it is powerful enough to transform you in a moment, and offer you more joy than any material possession could."

- Barbara De Angelis

"The Artist's Corner"

2012-02-11T15:01:00.003-05:00

"Cafe Florian"

Oil on canvas

Noel Bensted

"Same Gender Loving People - No. 887"

2012-02-11T08:58:00.000-05:00

"Protectors Of Freedom... Free To Love"

"Same Gender Loving People - No. 886"

2012-02-10T21:36:00.000-05:00

"Love... Always Worth Fighting For"

"The Artist's Corner"

2012-02-10T14:27:00.002-05:00

My favorite painting by the late Steve Walker

"A Matter of Taste"

Acrylic on Canvas - 2003

From Steve Walker’s website introduction:

I remember feeling a strange sense of elation upon having survived childhood, a rural environment, education, and the knowledge that my sexual orientation (which never felt a mystery or problem to me, personally) would forever cause some people who had never met me and would never know me to hate me and others like me.

Life goes on.

Within months of feeling this newfound sense of peace, a dinner conversation introduced me to a new word that would forever change my life and the lives of so many others:

AIDS.

Life would never be the same again.

And… the importance of life to me (my own and others’) would be changed forever. I felt surrounded by a plague that stigmatized gay people to a degree far exceeding that which we had already suffered. An overwhelming and paralyzing sense of fear, anger, sadness, and loss enveloped my life and the lives of so many others.

Being an actor suddenly meant very little to me. I felt powerless. I could not stop the dying or find a cure for the insidious disease. Maybe — just maybe, though — I could help find a cure for the hatred, fear, and ignorance that surrounded so many young men around the world as they lay in hospital beds and drew the last breaths of unfinished lives. I started to paint.

Slowly, sporadically, and privately, I taught myself to paint and began creating paintings about the experiences and emotions that all human beings share. Themes of love, attraction, hope, despair, loneliness, the beauty of sky, the perfection of a horizon, the power of a person touching another were given life on pieces of canvas. I created images that came from a place of truth. I tried to make sense of and give order to a world that seemed to know neither.

It simply never occurred to me to paint about themes in any other context than that of my own life as a person who happens to be gay. I had never had a problem relating to work created by heterosexuals in a heterosexual context. Why should I create paintings whose context was anything other than the truth of my life as a gay man?

I started showing my early paintings in bars and restaurants in the gay neighborhood of Toronto. From there things moved very quickly. Within a short time, I exhibited and sold my work in high-end, mainstream galleries throughout North America, and reproductions of my work throughout the world.

I see my work as a documentation, an interpretation, a crystallization of singular moments rendered in line, color, light, shadow, using a hundred brushes, a thousand colors, and a million brushstrokes. I strive to make people stop — if only for a moment — to think and actually feel something human… and humane. My paintings contain as many questions as answers.

I hope that in its silence the body of my work has given a voice to my life, the lives of others, and in doing so, the dignity of all people.

*******

"A life lived in fear is a life half-lived."

"The Death Of A Great Artist..."

2012-02-10T00:20:00.000-05:00

Steve Walker

1961-2012

I came home tonight to the news that my favorite artist, Steve Walker is no longer with us.

His works inspired my hopes and dreams and helped me to overcome my fear of embracing and accepting myself for who I am. I am thankful to have enjoyed his art and I am saddened to know that the special light that he shone on our world is dimmer and diminished by his absence.

Dear Clients,

It is with great sadness that as Works of Art Executor and Trustee of the Estate of Steve Walker, on behalf of his family, that I announce internationally renowned Canadian artist Steve Walker has passed away at the age of 50. The Lyman-Eyer Gallery, his family, friends and the international art world mourn the passing of the talented and beloved artist.

James Lyman
Lyman-Eyer Gallery
Provincetown, Massachusetts

"Same Gender Loving People - No. 885"

2012-02-09T06:03:00.003-05:00

"Love Is Happiness..."

"Same Gender Loving People - No. 884"

2012-02-08T16:26:00.002-05:00

"Love And Play Are Inseparable..."

"In The News Today..."

2012-02-08T13:02:00.007-05:00

I ran across this article today that speaks to the progress (albeit slow) that's being made in Africa with regard to the understanding that GLBT people are simply part of mankind's human diversity. Having learned first hand from close friends and my first love of the entrenched homophobia that exists on the continent, reading this article gave me hope that perhaps someday they'll be able live freely and be just as they are in the communities that are their homes.

Gay pageant sparks breakthrough, backlash in Namibia

By Brigitte Weidlich | AFP – Tue, Feb 7, 2012

When Wendelinus Hamutenya told his father that he was gay, the then 18-year-old was packed off to the psychiatric ward of the Windhoek Central Hospital.

Seven years later, he's the country's most visible gay man, after winning the inaugural "Mr Gay Namibia" pageant -- which will make him the first black African to compete for the title of Mr Gay World in neighbouring South Africa in April.

"Winning the Mr Gay Namibia title has brought the topic about gays and the whole (gay) community more into the open and I received congratulations from all sectors, also straight people -- it was like a breakthrough," the shy 25-year-old Hamutenya told AFP.

But the breakthrough came with a backlash. Two weeks after winning the title in November, he was beaten by two men who demanded a slice of his prize money.

Neighbours noticed the commotion and rushed into the street to save him. The two assailants escaped, while Hamutenya was hospitalised with bruised ribs and cuts to his nose and forehead that are still visible.

"I laid a case at the nearest police station. I went there a few days ago to hear what progress was made since two months have passed. Police told me the docket got lost," he told AFP.

Still, he said the response to his victory and the attack -- which sparked an outcry among gay groups and more broadly on Facebook -- showed how far Namibia has come.

Namibia still has a 1927 sodomy law dating from South African rule. The law is rarely enforced, but in the first decade after independence from apartheid South Africa in 1990, top Namibian leaders repeatedly railed against gays.

"Homosexuals must be condemned and rejected in our society," then president Sam Nujoma said in 1996.

"Police are ordered to arrest you and deport you and imprison you," he said five years later.

In 2000, cabinet minister Jerry Ekandjo said police must "eliminate" gays "from the face of Namibia" and even kill their dogs.

It was in that environment that Hamutenya's father had him hospitalised.

"At 16, I noticed my attraction to boys and men, and when 18, while still at school, I told my father, who promptly phoned the police to take me to the psychiatric ward of the Windhoek Central Hospital," Hamutenya said, his soft brown eyes becoming sad.

"It was very heartbreaking to go through all that."

After a few days, he ran away from the hospital and stayed with friends. Quite a while later his father sent for him and they reconciled. He said his mother, four siblings and the extended family also accept him now.

For Christmas, he returned to the village where he herded cattle as a boy, and received a celebrity welcome.

"The school kids almost treated me like a pop star. I had to give autographs on school shirts," he said.

His experience remains the exception.

Linda Baumann, director of gay group Outright Namibia, said many lesbians and gay men still enter straight marriages to bow to conventions, while lesbians face the threat of rape from men seeking to "cure" them.

"If lesbians want to lay a charge with the police, they say 'you asked for it' and dockets go missing," Baumann said.

Hamutenya said he hopes his experiences will make it easier for Namibians to come out.

"There are still so many fellow Namibians hiding their gay or lesbian status from family members, but being like that is not a choice one makes, you are born gay or lesbian," he said.

"Since I became Mr Gay Namibia I receive a lot of calls from teenage boys and young men who realise they are either gay or bi-sexual, but are confused, troubled and scared to come out," he said.

"So I would like to visit different parts of Namibia and speak to people about acceptance and tolerance."

**********

Clearly, here is a man who bravely knows...

"A life lived in fear is a life half-lived."

"The Truth About Love..."

2012-02-08T08:27:00.005-05:00

From my favorite daily e-newsletter:

In today's excerpt - Martin Luther King, Jr. speaks on the subject of non-violence. Dr. King, as Gandhi before him, had advocated non-violent protest - but believed it was not enough merely to be non-violent. For King, there was a higher standard, and that was that you must love the person that harms you. In the following excerpt, King was speaking in 1961 to white liberals from the "Fellowship of the Concerned" at their annual meeting. He knew that many among them objected to student "sit-ins" and "freedom rides" and preferred a more gradual approach - in part because of the savage beatings being inflicted on them - and that his task was to persuade these veteran white liberals to see the student movement as a natural outgrowth of their own work and his own teachings:

"Those who adhere to or follow this philosophy [of non-violence] must follow a consistent principle of noninjury. They must consistently refuse to inflict injury upon another. Sometimes you will read the literature of the student movement and see that, as they are getting ready for the sit-in or stand-in, they will read something like this, 'If you are hit do not hit back, if you are cursed do not curse back.' This is the whole idea, that the individual who is engaged in a nonviolent struggle must never inflict injury upon another.

"Now this has an external aspect and it has an internal one. From the external point of view it means that the individuals involved must avoid external physical violence. So they don't have guns, they don't retaliate with physical violence. If they are hit in the process, they avoid external physical violence at every point. But it also means that they avoid internal violence of spirit. This is why the love ethic stands so high in the student movement. We have a great deal of talk about love and nonviolence in this whole thrust.

"Now when the students talk about love, certainly they are not talking about emotional bosh, they are not talking about merely a sentimental outpouring; they're talking something much deeper, and I always have to stop and try to define the meaning of love in this context. The Greek language comes to our aid in trying to deal with this.

There are three words in the Greek language for love; one is the word eros. This is a beautiful type of love, it is an aesthetic love. Plato talks about it a great deal in his Dialogue, the yearning of the soul for the realm of the divine. It has come to us to be a sort of romantic love, and so in a sense we have read about it and experienced it. We've read about it in all the beauties of literature.

I guess in a sense Edgar Allan Poe was talking about eros when he talked about his beautiful Annabelle Lee, with the love surrounded by the halo of eternity. In a sense Shakespeare was talking about eros when he said 'Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds, or bends with the remover to remove; O'no! It is an ever fixed mark that looks on tempests and is never shaken, it is the star to every wandering bark.' (You know, I remember that because I used to quote it to this little lady when we were courting; that's eros.) The Greek language talks about philia which was another level of love. It is an intimate affection between personal friends, it is a reciprocal love. On this level you love because you are loved. It is friendship.

"Then the Greek language comes out with another word which is called the agape. Agape is more than romantic love, agape is more than friendship. Agape is understanding, creative, redemptive, good will to all men. It is an overflowing love which seeks nothing in return. Theologians would say that it is the love of God operating in the human heart. So that when one rises to love on this level, he loves men not because he likes them, not because their ways appeal to him, but he loves every man because God loves him. And he rises to the point of loving the person who does an evil deed while hating the deed that the person does. I think this is what Jesus meant when he said 'love your enemies.'

"I'm very happy that he didn't say like your enemies, because it is pretty difficult to like some people. Like is sentimental, and it is pretty difficult to like someone bombing your home; it is pretty difficult to like somebody threatening your children; it is difficult to like congressmen who spend all of their time trying to defeat civil rights. But Jesus says love them, and love is greater than like. Love is understanding, redemptive, creative, good will for all men. And it is this idea, it is this whole ethic of love which is the idea standing at the basis of the student movement."

Author: Martin Luther King, Jr., edited by James M. Washington

Title: A Testament of Hope

Publisher: Harper One

Pages: 46-47

A Testament of Hope : The Essential Writings and Speeches of Martin Luther King, Jr.

by Martin Luther King by HarperSanFrancisco

Paperback

If you wish to read further: Buy Now

Should you use the above link to purchase a book, delanceyplace proceeds from your purchase will benefit a children's literacy project. All Delanceyplace profits are donated to charity.

"This Made Me Smile..."

2012-02-07T20:13:00.003-05:00

"A Day When Truth Prevailed..."

2012-02-07T16:34:00.000-05:00

Earlier today, The Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals ruled that Proposition 8 is unconstitutional.

Slowly we are winning the battles that will win for us our rights as equal citizens. Although our opponents vow to fight on to the bitter end, I am confident that right is on our side and that soon the U.S. Supreme Court will weigh in on this issue and settle the matter once and for all... that committed same-sex couples and their families should be able to share in the celebration and obligations of marriage.

"Fear Eats the Soul"

"Same Gender Loving People - No. 883"

2012-02-07T10:11:00.000-05:00

"Let There Be No Fear In The Revelation Of Love..."

"The Artist's Corner"

2012-02-06T21:14:00.002-05:00

"Ennis Del Mar"

Acrylic on canvas

Steven Clayton Cory

"The Truth About Love..."

2012-02-06T17:59:00.003-05:00

"The more connections you and your lover make, not just between your bodies, but between your minds, your hearts, and your souls, the more you will strengthen the fabric of your relationship, and the more real moments you will experience together."

- Barbara De Angelis

"Same Gender Loving People - No. 882"

2012-02-06T10:52:00.002-05:00

"The Art Of The Soul... Love"

"Unintentionally Gay...?"

2012-02-05T15:07:00.003-05:00

"I know today is the Superbowl, but does this make you think baseball?"

"Same Gender Loving People - No. 881"

2012-02-05T05:01:00.002-05:00

"Only Love Bring This Joy..."

"The Truth Tonight..."

2012-02-05T00:07:00.000-05:00

"Fear Eats the Soul"

"The Truth About Love..."

2012-02-04T19:17:00.004-05:00

From my favorite daily e-newsletter:

Where to we find enduring love? Answer: Oxytocin. Infidelity? Testosterone. Heartbreak? Low serotonin and endorphins. In fact, our loved ones are actually present in our brains - neurochemically - and when we lose them, it results in chemical trauma for the brain:

"An American study of over four thousand men found that husbands with high testosterone levels were 43 percent more likely to get divorced and 38 percent more likely to have extramarital affairs than men with lower levels. They were also 50 percent less likely to get married at all. Men with the least amounts of testosterone were more likely to get married and to stay married, maybe because low testosterone levels make men calmer, less aggressive, less intense, and more cooperative.

"The desire to commit to someone is strongly linked to ... oxytocin. ... Oxytocin is released by the pituitary gland and acts on the ovaries and testes to regulate reproduction. Researchers suspect that this hormone is important for forming close social bonds. The levels of this chemical rise when couples watch romantic movies, hug, or hold hands. Prairie voles [mammals related to the mouse], when injected with oxytocin, pair much faster than normally. Blocking oxytocin prevents them from bonding in a normal way. This is similar in humans, because couples bond to certain characteristics in each other. This is why you are attracted to the same type of man or woman repeatedly. In general, levels of oxytocin are lower in men, except after an orgasm, where they are raised more than 500 percent. This may explain why men feel very sleepy after an orgasm. This is the same hormone released in babies during breast-feeding, which makes them sleepy as well.

"Oxytocin is also related to the feelings of closeness and being 'in love' when you have regular sex for several reasons. First, the skin is sensitized by oxytocin, encouraging affection and touching behavior. Then, oxytocin levels rise during subsequent touching and eventually even with the anticipation of being touched. Oxytocin increases during sexual activity, peaks at orgasm, and stays elevated for a period of time after intercourse. ... In addition, there is an amnesic effect created by oxytocin during sex and orgasm that blocks negative memories people have about each other for a period of time. The same amnesic effect occurs from the release of oxytocin during childbirth, while a mother is nursing to help her forget the labor pain, and during long, stressful nights spent with a newborn so that she can bond to her baby with positive feelings and love.

"Higher oxytocin levels are also associated with an increased feeling of trust. In a landmark study by Michael Kosfeld and colleagues from Switzerland published in the journal Nature, intranasal oxytocin was found to increase trust. Men who inhale a nasal spray spiked with oxytocin give more money to partners in a risky investment game than do men who sniff a spray containing a placebo. This substance fosters the trust needed for friendship, love, families, economic transactions, and political networks. According to the study's authors, 'Oxytocin specifically affects an individual's willingness to accept social risks arising through interpersonal interactions.' ...

"What happens in the brain when you lose someone you love? Why do we hurt, long, even obsess about the other person? When we love someone, they come to live in the emotional or limbic centers of our brains. He or she actually occupies nerve-cell pathways and physically lives in the neurons and synapses of the brain. When we lose someone, either through death, divorce, moves, or breakups, our brain starts to get confused and disoriented. Since the person lives in the neuronal connections, we expect to see her, hear her, feel her, and touch her. When we cannot hold her or talk to her as we usually do, the brain centers where she lives becomes inflamed looking for her. Overactivity in the limbic brain has been associated with depression and low serotonin levels, which is why we have trouble sleeping, feel obsessed, lose our appetites, want to isolate ourselves, and lose the joy we have about life. A deficit in endorphins, which modulate pain and pleasure pathways in the brain, also occurs, which may be responsible for the physical pain we feel during a breakup."

Author: Daniel G. Amen, M.D.
Title: The Brain in Love
Publisher: Three Rivers Press
Date: Copyright 2007 by Daniel G. Amen, M.D.
Pages: 64-68

The Brain in Love: 12 Lessons to Enhance Your Love Life

by Daniel G. Amen M.D. by Three Rivers Press

Paperback ~ Release Date: 2009-07-14

If you wish to read further: Buy Now

Should you use the above link to purchase a book, delanceyplace proceeds from your purchase will benefit a children's literacy project. All Delanceyplace profits are donated to charity.

"The Artist's Corner"

2012-02-04T16:39:00.002-05:00

"Cowboy Poetry - The Kiss"

Acrylic on canvas

Steven Clayton Cory

"Same Gender Loving People - No. 880"

2012-02-04T11:39:00.000-05:00

"Love, Fame, Happiness, Joy... Fearlessly Claimed"

"Same Gender Loving People - No. 879"

2012-02-03T14:38:00.001-05:00

"Love Is Truth... Truth Is Love"

"It's Still Tough To Be A GLBT Kid..."

2012-02-03T12:55:00.000-05:00

Today is a rare day off from work where I find myself in a reflective mood... I've been reading today and I ran across a telling article from "Rolling Stone."

Every morning, Brittany Geldert stepped off the bus and bolted through the double doors of Fred Moore Middle School, her nerves already on high alert, bracing for the inevitable.

"Dyke."

Pretending not to hear, Brittany would walk briskly to her locker, past the sixth-, seventh- and eighth-graders who loitered in menacing packs.

"Whore."

Like many 13-year-olds, Brittany knew seventh grade was a living hell.

Read more: http://www.rollingstone.com/politics/news/one-towns-war-on-gay-teens-20120202#ixzz1lLGT2rGk

H/T: Box Turtle Bulletin

"Fear Eats the Soul"

"The Truth About Remembering..."

2012-02-03T11:20:00.001-05:00

When I was a boy, lonely and afraid that my secret would escape my grasp and destroy my world, I made myself into the quintessential loner. I was the typical nerd... my interests were those that you could pursue alone... I read our encyclopedia from cover to cover. I tinkered with old televisions and radios, blowing many fuses along the way and I kept myself busy with all manner of solitary pursuits.

One of those interests was model rocketry. I built and flew many model rockets and eventually it led me to my life-long interest in science and technology and the pursuit of knowledge for its own sake. Most people who know me say that I possess an amazing compendium of knowledge on a very wide range of subjects. And over the years, this broad knowledge has helped in many ways including the varied career paths that I've followed.

This morning, I ran across this video and as I watched it, I was immediately transported back in time to those lonely days of fear and worry and wanting not to be different. But I also remembered the joy of many happy days and moments lost in a world of my own making where it didn't matter to me that I was different or afraid.

I still have some of my rockets from those days of old... They're carefully packed and stored away with other trinkets and mementos of my former life lived in fear. They're my salient reminder that "a life lived in fear is a life half-lived..." I think this summer, I'll fly my rockets again and remember my journey from fear to truth, and from the shadows into the light.

"Fear Eats the Soul"

"A Thought To Ponder..."

2012-02-02T20:56:00.002-05:00

"When you let someone into your heart there are no boundaries..."

"Same Gender Loving People - No. 878"

2012-02-02T00:03:00.000-05:00

"Love, Honor And Service..."

"A Sign Of Truth..."

2012-02-01T16:54:00.001-05:00

"Same Gender Loving People - No. 877"

2012-02-01T11:38:00.003-05:00

"There Is Happiness In Love..."

"Same Gender Loving People - No. 876"

2012-01-31T23:37:00.000-05:00

"Love Knows The Beloved..."

"Unintentionally Gay...?"

2012-01-31T23:21:00.000-05:00

"This made me smile..."

"The Artist's Corner"

2012-01-31T06:19:00.000-05:00

"The Cleaners"

Acrylic on canvas

Steve Walker

"Same Gender Loving People - No. 875"

2012-01-30T16:49:00.000-05:00

"Love... It Makes You Happy"

"A Sign Of Truth..."

2012-01-30T16:47:00.002-05:00

"Same Gender Loving People - No. 874"

2012-01-29T14:38:00.003-05:00

"Love Is Suited To A Kiss..."

"The Artist's Corner"

2012-01-29T14:26:00.002-05:00

"Rain"

Acrylic on canvas

Steve Walker

"Reflections On Married Life..."

2012-01-28T22:03:00.012-05:00

The husband and I had a date night yesterday and after dinner we went to see this film... Overall, I gave it 4 out of 5 stars. But the funny thing is this, I always like to stay and watch the ending credits of a film. I just find it interesting to watch the names of the people and organizations that helped to make the film. For instance while watching this film's ending credits, I saw that Comerica Bank provided the production financing. It was interesting to me because Comerica was founded in Detroit and still has a large presence here.

But anyway, when I first started dating my husband, Ed, he at first didn't like to stay for the end credits. He was one of the masses that jumps out of their seat as soon as the end credits start to roll. But he loves me, so he learned to endulge me in my desire to watch them. Now, I'm sharing all of this because it has a lot to do with the film we saw last night.

"The Grey" was a great film and Liam Neeson is one of my favorite actors. But if you read peoples reviews and comments on this film, while everyone seemed to like it, a lot of people didn't like the ending. Without giving it away, the end of the film has Neeson facing off with the alpha wolf, but it fades to black and you don't see what happened next, then the end credits roll.

However, for my husband and I and the four other people in the auditorium who stayed to watch the credits, we we got a very good idea of what happened next... the final 5 seconds of the film play at the end of the credits. So, if you go to see this film and you have a need to see the story that just unfolded be resolved... Stay for the credits! It's one of the other reasons I like to stay for the entire film... lots of movies have additional scenes spliced into the credits... sometimes the blooper scenes are there or like in "The Grey," a clue to the missing resolution of the story. I couldn't help thinking to myself that the hundred or so other moviegoers we shared that showing with left feeling a little cheated in that the climax scene of the movie went unresolved (or, so they thought).

I think it really annoyed Ed when we first met that I wanted to stay for the credits, but because he loves me, he learned to like them as I do and that is what love and marriage is about... Sharing life and the world and each other's interests. Love and marriage... I highly recommend it!

"A life lived in fear is a life half-lived..."

P.S. One of my interests is looking for "Same Gender Loving" characters in mainstream films... more and more, we are there. I won't tell you where in the film, but we are depicted in "The Grey."

"Unintentionally Gay...?"

2012-01-28T17:48:00.003-05:00

"Are you sure you two are 'fighting'...?"

"Same Gender Loving People - No. 873"

2012-01-28T13:32:00.003-05:00

"When There Is Love... Tenderness Follows"

"The Truth About Love..."

2012-01-28T10:36:00.000-05:00

Love is the emblem of eternity: it confounds all notion of time: effaces all memory of a beginning, all fear of an end.

~ Germaine De Stael

"Same Gender Loving People - No. 872"

2012-01-27T18:29:00.000-05:00

"Love Takes Your Breath Away... It Sweeps You Off Your Feet"

"A Sign Of Truth..."

2012-01-27T14:18:00.003-05:00

"A life lived in fear is a life half-lived..."

"The Truth About Courage..."

2012-01-27T10:23:00.001-05:00

Newark, New Jersey Mayor Cory Booker is my hero of the day... In response to NJ Governor Christie's declaration that he will veto marriage equality legislation and instead would prefer a state-wide referendum on the matter:

“I shudder to think what would have happened if the civil rights gains, heroically established by courageous lawmakers in the 1960s, were instead conveniently left up to popular votes in our 50 states. … Equal protection under the law – for race, religion, gender or sexual orientation – should not be subject to the most popular sentiments of the day. Marriage equality is not a choice. It is a legal right. I hope our leaders in Trenton will affirm and defend it.”

The truth about courage is this... Sometimes all it requires is that you speak the truth. It's not always easy, but at the end of the day you can look at yourself and know that you've done what is right.

Cheers Mayor Booker!

"Fear Eats the Soul"

"In The News Today..."

2012-01-27T09:25:00.000-05:00

January 26, 2012

The spokesperson for Congressman Barney Frank, D-Mass., said today that Frank would marry his longtime partner, Jim Ready, 42, a first in national American politics.

In 2008, The Hill reported that Ready wore Frank’s Congressional Spouse lapel pin. Ready and Frank have been together since the spring of 2007. They plan to hold the ceremony in Massachusetts.

Ready lives in Ogunquit, Maine and owns a small business doing handyman services.

Frank is one of seven self-identified LGBT representatives in the history of Congress.

Frank, 71, announced in November that he intends to retire from Congress at the end of his term in 2013.

********

"Congratulations Barney and Jim!"

"The Truth About Love..."

2012-01-26T19:55:00.004-05:00

"Love means to commit oneself without guarantee, to give oneself completely in the hope that our love will produce love in the loved person. Love is an act of faith, and whoever is of little faith is also of little love."

~ by Erich Fromm

"Same Gender Loving People - No. 871"

2012-01-26T16:22:00.002-05:00

"Love Brings Life To A Home..."

"The Artist's Corner"

2012-01-26T06:50:00.002-05:00

"Bedtime Story"

Acrylic on canvas

Steve Walker

"A Thought To Ponder..."

2012-01-25T20:41:00.002-05:00

"A Sign Of Truth..."

2012-01-25T16:16:00.005-05:00

"Same Gender Loving People - No. 870"

2012-01-25T13:09:00.003-05:00

"Love Is The Most Beautiful Color Of All..."

"Same Gender Loving People - No. 869"

2012-01-24T12:06:00.003-05:00

"To Find Love Is To Overcome Fear..."

"A Sign Of Truth..."

2012-01-24T07:03:00.003-05:00

"Fear Eats the Soul"

"The Artist's Corner"

2012-01-23T19:37:00.003-05:00

"On A Clear Day"

Acrylic on canvas

Steve Walker

"Same Gender Loving People - No. 868"

2012-01-23T11:32:00.000-05:00

"The View From Love Is Endless..."

"In The News Today..."

2012-01-23T10:27:00.001-05:00

Today is Chinese New Year... and depending on which Chinese calendar you follow, today marks the beginning of the year 4710, 4709 or 4649. But more commonly the years are represented by animals (mythical or real) from the Chinese zodiac. This is a rare year in that the Yang Water Dragon (occurs only once every 60 years) is the year's symbol. Read more about it here.

"The Truth Today... Gay In America"

2012-01-22T15:52:00.002-05:00

Click the photo to go to a great piece in OUT Magazine...

"Fear Eats the Soul"

"Same Gender Loving People - No. 867"

2012-01-22T08:46:00.002-05:00

"Love Is Patient..."

"The Things That Love Says..."

2012-01-21T19:07:00.004-05:00

My love for you is a journey;
Starting at forever,
And ending at never.

~ Anonymous

"This Made Me Smile..."

2012-01-21T12:19:00.000-05:00

"Who knew...? The leader of the free world can sing a 'mean' falsetto!"

"Same Gender Loving People - No. 866"

2012-01-21T10:02:00.000-05:00

"Love, Marriage and Family... Life Fulfilled"

"The Artist's Corner"

2012-01-20T15:07:00.007-05:00

"Brief Encounter"

Acrylic on canvas

Steve Walker

"Same Gender Loving People - No. 865"

2012-01-20T11:30:00.003-05:00

"True Love Shares The World Together"

"For My Husband, Ed..."

2012-01-20T10:20:00.000-05:00

For my husband, Ed... He can't stand Beyonce and so I hope he finds this as funny as I do

"The Artist's Corner"

2012-01-19T21:55:00.005-05:00

"At Five In The Morning"

Acrylic on canvas

Steve Walker

"Unintentionally Gay...?"

2012-01-19T10:57:00.003-05:00

"This is a legal hold... right?"

"Same Gender Loving People - No. 864"

2012-01-19T08:52:00.004-05:00

"The Joy Of Life Can Be Found In A Kiss..."

"The Truth About Love..."

2012-01-18T21:39:00.005-05:00

"The most wonderful of all things in life is the discovery of another human being with whom one's relationship has a growing depth, beauty and joy as the years increase. This inner progressiveness of love between two human beings is a most marvellous thing; it cannot be found by looking for it or by passionately wishing for it. It is a sort of divine accident, and the most wonderful of all things in life."

~ Sir Hugh Walpole

"Same Gender Loving People - No. 863"

2012-01-18T14:29:00.003-05:00

"Love Never Needs Approval..."

"The Artist's Corner"

2012-01-18T09:06:00.000-05:00

"Unexpected Places"

Acrylic on canvas

Steve Walker

"Same Gender Loving People - No. 862"

2012-01-17T17:35:00.000-05:00

"Love Is Happiness..."

"The Truth Today..."

2012-01-16T11:15:00.003-05:00

"The Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., was born in Atlanta, Georgia on January 15, 1929. On October 14, 1964, he became the youngest person to ever win the Nobel Peace Prize. And his home town of Atlanta wanted to throw him a party: an inter-racial banquet, with official invitations going to the city's leaders and titans of industry. The invites were signed by the city's mayor, religious leaders from across faiths, a university president, and the publisher of the major area newspaper. "

Read here about how it might never have been without the help of The Coca Cola Company

"Same Gender Loving People - No. 861"

2012-01-15T11:29:00.002-05:00

"When There Is Love There Is Life..."

"The Truth Is In The Scriptures..."

2012-01-15T08:12:00.003-05:00

"The Bottom Line: Is Homosexuality A Sin Or Not?"

"Remembering Love's Journey..."

2012-01-15T07:24:00.003-05:00

January 15, 2007

"The Things That Love Says..."

2012-01-14T20:04:00.003-05:00

"I leaned across ten thousand miles and kissed you
and held you in my arms just once again
and as we kissed, I whispered how I miss you
and brushed away the tears that fell like rain.

Although I am far away from you tonight dear,
and many many miles are in between,
I leaned across ten thousand miles and kissed you
for there's no miles between us in my dreams."

- Marjorie Aline Anderson

"This Made Me Smile..."

2012-01-14T18:13:00.003-05:00

I loved the "Terminator" franchise... I always got a certain vibe off those cyborgs.

"Same Gender Loving People - No. 860"

2012-01-14T12:44:00.000-05:00

"Love And Marriage... Life Fulfilled"

"It's Not So Funny..."

2012-01-14T07:10:00.002-05:00

Indeed, the scariest part is that there are people who believe the pope's craziness...

"This Made Me Smile..."

2012-01-13T23:55:00.003-05:00

Although I barely know who Lady Gaga is... This made me smile!

"The History Of Love..."

2012-01-13T22:35:00.003-05:00

Abraham Lincoln (lawyer, U.S. president) & Joshua Speed (merchant, editor)

On April 15, 1837, an impoverished Abraham Lincoln, 28, met Joshua Speed, 22, at his general store in Springfield, Illinois, and immediately agreed to share a bed with him in his living quarters above the store. They continued to share their bed for four years. They must have had a lot of interesting discussions because Joshua was the son of a plantation and slave owner. When Joshua told Abraham that he was returned to his native Kentucky, Abraham had a nervous breakdown. Abraham wrote at the time: “I am now the most miserable man living. Whether I shall ever be better I can not tell; I awfully forbode I shall not. To remain as I am is impossible; I must die or be better, it appears to me.” They remained friends throughout life. Abraham penned passionate letters to Joshua Speed, which he signed “yours forever,” a phrase he never wrote to his wife.

"Same Gender Loving People - No. 859"

2012-01-13T16:52:00.000-05:00

"Love, Honor, Tradition... Marriage"

"The Things That Love Says..."

2012-01-13T01:00:00.000-05:00

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength,
While loving someone deeply gives you courage.

~ Lao Tzu

"Same Gender Loving People - No. 858"

2012-01-12T11:45:00.002-05:00

"Only Love Brings This Closeness..."

"Same Gender Loving People - No. 857"

2012-01-11T23:59:00.001-05:00

"Love Is Comfort..."