By Aidan Quigley
The Outmost
October 2016
Exclusivity
Deciding whether you are exclusively monogamous before entering into a long distance relationship can help to assuage anxiety that might otherwise gnaw away at the foundations of your partnership.
Within the gay community, non-monogamous relationships are not as rare as they are in the heterosexual community. According to a survey carried out by FS Magazine, 41% of respondents were in or had previously been in an open-relationship.
Being separated from someone by hundreds or thousands of miles can mean that sexual needs are not being fulfilled, so while navigating this topic might be difficult, it could ultimately be something that strengthens a long-distance relationship.
Have An End In Sight
And not a rear end… well maybe, depending on what you worked out about exclusivity. But seriously, make sure that you know what your end goal is. Are you going to move to where he is? Is it only temporary and then your boyfriend will be back in your bed within half a year
Figuring out when the long distance relationship will end is key to enduring the difficulties that accompany it. If you know it’s only for so long, then you can pace yourself, prepare mentally for the eventuality that you will be reunited.
By focussing on why you’re putting up with the grievances of being in a long distance relationship – the end goal that you’ll eventually live in the same place – as opposed to focussing on what a long distance relationship is forcing you to do – travel for hours, forego sex with your boyfriend – it will make the process easier.
Netflix
Netflix is an amazing way to watch shows or movies together when you’re in the same location, but it can also be a great way to watch the same stuff when you’re apart. Thanks to the magic of technology, now you can watch the same thing on Netflix with your boyfriend, at the same time even if you are apart.
Netflix Party, an extension for Google Chrome, allows you and your boyfriend to sit back and relax watching the something like OITNB or Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt.
That’s your Saturday night in on the couch sorted!
Phone Sex
Phone sex is a great way to keep things even more intimate between you and your boyfriend, even if you’re separated by an ocean. This is one solution to fulfilling the sexual needs which can no longer be fulfilled by your boyfriend.
Set aside a date night, or call out of the blue when you know they’ll be free. Tell your boyfriend all the dirty things you want to do to him.
For those who haven’t tried or aren’t fully comfortable with sexy talk, it can take some practice.
Top or Bottom
When you do get to visit each other, it’s only fair that the boyfriend who has travelled gets first preference at what position they want to be.
If you’re exclusively in a top and bottom relationship then this one is not such of a big deal. But if your boyfriend has spent hours on travelling to see you, be the gentleman and give him the choice!
Finally
Be honest about what you really want... If it's just a safe emotional connection you're after, be sure he knows that. If it's something more, then don't wait too long to tell him.
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